Fighting Over Finances

by Kathy
(Merced, CA, USA)

My sister lives 5 hours from my family and mom. Mom has been going down for the last 6 or so months. She gets extremely stressed when my "older" sister calls her and insinuates that the caregiver "steals" her money.

The long distance sister wants the caregiver to provide a detailed budget, including personal income and expenses, to explain where all money goes.

When my sister does this, about every 8 or 9 months, mom goes in to an absolute mental breakdown. When the long distance sister brings it up to mom she goes away mentally and it takes her about 2 or so days to get back to "her" normal.

I have tried to explain this to sister but I don't know what to do. This is KILLING (not exaggerating) and the sister thinks that Mom's like this over money.

WHAT DO I DO?? My husband says to tell her like it is, but I cannot debate her (she is older and is book smart) and I am not one to think fast on my feet.

Any advice for the baby sister 5 hours away?