Feelings of Stress, Hoplessness, Guilt, Anger and severe Depression
I am a 36 yr old single mother of 2 (14 and 8). I am not an only child but I do not know my siblings well. They do not come around nor do they call and check on my father.
My dad was diagnosed about 10 months ago with Alzheimer's. He has pretty much gone downhill since. Over the past few weeks I have fallen into a deep depression and feel completely lost and hopeless. My dad's also gotten worse. He now see's things that are not there, very angry, hateful and mean, almost never makes any sense.
I absolutely don't know where to turn or what to do. His doctor insists he belongs in a nursing home. I have an appointment Monday with her and she wants to put him in the hospital for a 72 hr. evaluation and then a nursing home. I don't know how I feel about the nursing home (he does have his good days where he seems like nothing is wrong).
I think I would be relieved on one hand and the other I would feel extreme guilt. I just don't know what to do. Can anyone offer any advice on putting their loved one in a nursing home? I'm afraid if I continue on this way I will end up in my grave but I feel terrible about "sending him away". Not to mention all the financial questions I have.
I hate to think everything he worked so hard for will be given to the nursing home (people who will never be able to give him the love and care I do). I apologize if this message sounds so "scatter-brained". I have not been in my right mind the past few weeks. Thanks for any help or advice in advance. It is much appreciated.