Feeling very Overwhelmed and Guilty to feel the Way I do
Not sure why I'm writing this to others who are in the same boat as I am but any rate. I do feel guilty to feel angry of the way I feel for someone who would has done nothing but good for me. I have now been put in a position to be the main care taker for my mother and I'm the youngest of three siblings, 45 years of age.
I do not have children a divorce has been bless through the grace of God to come through a many of near death experiences from my own health which I'm graciously thankful to God for etc. My dad who is now deceased asked us kids to take care of our mother if for some reason he is not around to do so etc.
My sister and I always felt we never wanted our mother to be in a home being taken care from others because of the horrible stories we've seen and heard that a lot of those places were. We have one brother who is there but not to the degree as we would be for our mother because he is not very stable and inpatient with lack of responsibility has a daughter of his own that he was not in her life etc.
Sister just got married to a man who lives in another state and his mother is still alive and lives around the corner from his own mother and so now my sister has moved away with her child (not child's dad)to help her husband mother and he has more siblings than our family some lives their in the state where he and my sister lives with a few living here in this town.
My resentment is from my sister leaving me behind to with my unstable brother to help take care of our mother after my dad has asked us to take care of our mother when he is gone etc. I feel hurt and betrayed because she was selfish and not wondered or even cared to ask how I
felt about all of this etc. I feel my sister was just happy with the ideal of a man wanting and asking her to marry him to look at the whole picture of things and not caring about anyone else but her own happiness etc. and seem to forgot my dad asked all of us children to be there for our mom etc. at least this is how I feel because of no communication from her etc.
I'm not currently working and my finances are not all that great and now the only one I'm able to depend on and hold onto is my Lord Jesus savior which is the only one who can help me or anyone of us in this situation. I have a life to; and dating a man who wants to marry me but now, I'm having to put my own life on hold which he has offered to help me take care of my mom but mom is almost a recluse and set in her own ways and do not like change etc.She I can tell get's hurt and say things like she can go in a home and I refuse to allow that because I do not like to feel guilty and feel I let my mom and dad down knowing they were always there for us kids etc.
I feel guilty for feeling this way but I'm human and grateful my mother is still alive and with us! I have to understand it's not all about me and do what I know God would prefer me to do and be obedient and trust he will always work everything out for the good. What get's me is other relative's can call and check with how the family is doing and suggest things for me to do or locate for help but not once offered any assistance from themselves it's comical how family can be at times. I wrote this mainly for therapeutic for me because we all are in the same situation or rather so I give this situation to God!