(San Diego, Ca)
I'm a divorced, no children 65 year old woman. Dad died 17 years ago, I moved in with my 70 year old mother to help her while she went through her transition and many other issues going on in her life.
At the time she was 70 yrs old. I had a full time job, got ill and eventually retired. As she aged, her health and needs got worse. I ended up being her full time caregiver with no pay ever offered, not that I wanted or asked, although mom has her own money, I helped her financially with her bills and bought all groceries and home products, drove her around, took care of her business affairs, etc., etc.
I have 5 siblings who were very comfortable with this arrangement. The only time they ever came around was on holidays and special occasions, and short visits when she got sick. This went on for 15 yrs, with my pleas for help unanswered.
They were finally forced to help when I decided to move out for my health reasons, because It became too much for me especially when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's along with her other existing health problems, but I am still very much involved in her care.
Now that they have been forced to step up and help, I have been ostracized by my 3 sisters, their husbands and their grown children. All except
my brother, he's actually the only one that understands. I feel very alone like I have no family.
The only support are my friends who have been there with me through it all. My siblings are now aware first hand of all that's involved in the care, and they don't like having to be taken out of their comfort zone.
My sisters have gotten together, and have gotten their husbands and their grown children on board and are finding any reason to belittle me, ignore me and go out of their way to find fault with everything I do and say. Their demeanor with me pure hostility and hatred.
My desire is to step out completely, and just be the one to visit mom and show her a good time, and leave the whole caregiving thing along with taking charge of her medical and business affairs to them, of which they have no clue.
The only thing that stops me is my love for mom, she would be heartbroken because I'm the only one she really trusts and is more comfortable with, because she has been so dependent on me for so many years. She has always felt her other children never cared about her.
I try not to let it bother me, but it is the hardest thing because I feel so betrayed, taken for granted not to mention the hostility and resentment I feel from them.