Feeling Guilty and Resentful
My mom is 93 and lives alone 1 hour away from me. My dad died 40 yrs ago. I have a brother who lives 4 hours away so he is not of much help. He has offered to have my mom come and visit for as long as she wants but she refuses. My mom still drives, refuses to stop- never has had a MVA. She takes no medications and is very healthy except for spinal stenosis which limits how far she can walk.
She is able to leave the home and shop in stores that have a cart to hold on to. My husband and I are both retired now. My husband has had his share of medical problems over last few yrs so we know how important it is to enjoy our lives now and not wait.
We have a home 10 hours away that we go to now for several months of the year. My mom resents this and makes comments with an attitude that we do this.
I have researched endlessly for my mom things that she can get involved in-her senior center has great options, church and book groups. She refuses to do any of this. She has only 1 friend left and sees her very infrequently.
She needs to have someone else in her life besides me so she is not lonely, depressed, unhappy and angry at me when we are away. I don't feel she is being fair to me.
She didn't have this problem as my grandmother was in a nursing home when she got older. My mom is really pretty amazing for her age but she uses the age card as an excuse all the time. I visit her and stay over and see her often when I am home but that is not enough.It is ruining our relationship.
Do you have any suggestions? My husband and she do not get along as my husband resents how she treats me.
Can you offer any suggestions.