My wife has been chronically ill for over 5 years. For the past 3 years she requires IV feeding every night for 12 hours. Many, many trips to the hospital and doctors. Emptying of drains and tubes etc. etc. If your reading this then you probably understand.
Tonight after hooking her up to IV I said I was going to run up to the coffee shop for a cup and to take a breather, I no sooner got on the road when she called me that the alarm on her IV pump was going off, so I had to turn around and go back to change lines to clear the air out.
When you add this type of stress to the stress of feeling helpless as you watch your loved slowly stolen from you and the day to day problems of life sometimes I feel I will explode.
I have not found an answer yet, I am still looking.
I do not think the answer is in the hands of a deity, for I do not believe a divine creator would allow such suffering to exist in a creation they love. Would you allow your children anguish if it was in your power to stop it?
I think the answer is in doing the very best you can for the person you love and remembering that you matter too. It is not being selfish to take care of yourself at the same time as you give care to someone else.