I've posted before about not having help with my mother. I had to force the issue with my siblings, because my son developed some serious health problems and I have to concentrate on him.
My mom has vascular dementia. She is more than midway through and should not be at home any longer. She has had numerous falls, she doesn't eat or drink unless I make her.
She never moves, and refuses to use her walker. I was going everyday. I have tried for many, many months to get my brother, who is POA, to get her placed in a home.
I did all the research, the footwork. He finally, on mother's day, said that he would go along with whatever I chose. Well, I cannot start the proceedings. He has to.
Now, because he doesn't want to be the bad guy, he is once gain refusing. He says we have different ideas about her health and he thinks she's okay for now. NO she is not. Just last Friday afternoon, she fell again.
I had gone out to the car to retrieve an item that fell out of the grocery bag, and when I came back in, she was on the floor! She would have laid there for lord knows how long because she needs cues to get up. I cannot help her up most of the time.
All I got when I told my brother was a thanks, and an I get it. I haven't heard anything since.
The kicker here is, we have had two, count 'em two, doctor consultations and a recommendation from the therapist mom had for several months, that she should either have much more supervision than she's currently getting, or be placed in a home.
Doctor recommends a home.
She is supposed to have someone eat with her so she eats, and she's to have an Ensure everyday. We have help three days a week for 4 hours a day, I am there two days a week, my brother stops by after work to fix her dinner (he doesn't stay), and my sister pops in on the weekend and does the same.
I am still the only one who sits with and makes sure she eats.
My hands are tied.
I don't understand what my brother is waiting for. Does Mom have to seriously injure herself again before he does the right thing? I am seriously considering taking him to court and forcing him into sole guardianship.
I am so afraid that we will be in serious legal trouble if anything happens. I have done all I can. Stepping back hasn't helped much.