Father is a Total Mess Financially and in Other Ways!

by Yvonne
(Tucson, AZ)

Don't know where to start really other than to say that I have been to timid to ask for details on his finances, health issues and issues like that. Kicking myself for not point blank asking, "What type of money do you have and where is it, so we can better budget for your care".


I finally decided to broach the subject a few weeks ago and was met with real anger and a "none of your business" approach.

After several mentions over the weeks he finally decided it may be a good idea and wow, what a surprise....

After 60 years of working, very little to show for it. Looking out to the future the best I can I see where I may be called upon to help stretch the dollars.

The house has had a second mortgage for a number of years and has not been paid off...the house itself is in real need of repair.

The checking/saving/stock accounts are virtually non existent...thank you Social Security! Without that I shudder to think of where he may be.

Mother passed several years ago and I thought she was the keeper of the budget and sure enough, once she passed he has been spending like a drunken sailor for these last several years although you cannot see it...nothing new to speak of around the house or new car....don't know where it went or care really as I mentioned this once and he blew a gasket on my comments.

Don't know what to do really as we are coming forward to that time that he will need full time care of some sort. He is unwilling to discuss the sale of the house (Lord knows if there is really any equity left) to move into an assisted living place or have someone come in.

Looks like it may be down to me as my sister and brother are "living their lives" and are too busy to care....wish I would have moved away when I had the chance.

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No Finances Don't Lose Hope
by: Anonymous

Just because there are no finances doesn't mean he won't be taken care of. There are programs from the Agency and Aging, you can have food delivered to him through meals on wheels, etc. You just have to find out what is offered in your area. Was he a Veteran there are programs from the VA.

It seems like all older people do not want to go into assisted living. I look forward to it when I get older, people to talk to, play cards with, fun, friends. It seems a lot better then being all by yourself lonely.

Based on his SSA he may qualify for food stamps, ever little bit helps. There are too many programs to check, the best bet is checking with the Agency on Aging they know all the elderly program. If there is no equity in the house and he is mortgage to the hilt they may qualify him for more help.

Don't lose hope. Many people don't have money for their senior years.

Hope this helps


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