Family Conflict Over Caregiving
by Sue
(USA)
Hello,
I live next door to my mother--we have never gotten along our entire lives. She is very cruel --cruel even til this day, yet outsiders have no clue to it. I have come to the conclusion, however, that she has multiple personalities. Fast forward to today.
My dad has had multiple strokes. He is currently in a nursing home, his prognosis does not look very promising. My mom is in very good health except for a knee, but she walks around fine.
I have been diagnosed with several major diseases (stage 3 cancer, diabetes, Trigeminal Neuralgia, sleep apnea, chronic spinal fluid condition, constant ear noises which require me to keep music on to sleep, insomnia, rheumatoid arthritis, high blood pressure, atherosclerotic disease) and I am on disability. I also require an oxygenator at night. For the past 5 years I have been in a very fight for my life.
My mom (76 year old) is afraid to be alone at night. I live next door, and told her due to my medical conditions, I could not sleep over there. I blast the radio just to get interrupted sleep, I use a huge oxygenator which requires a constant plug in into a particular outlet in my house, I pace the house in pain at night. I offered her to come over to my house at night, yet she refuses.
The layout of my house would separate the bedrooms apart enough where I would not disturb her. Yet she berates me to my niece, brother and eldest sister--all of which have no clue what a living hell my life already is. They are upset at me, as she complained I did nothing for my dad or her--but this is a total falsehood. She constantly minimizes everything I do for her, and flat out lies to other family members saying I am not helping at all.
Any suggestions or insight would be greatly appreciated.