Exhausted and Broke but Will Still Help my Mother Today and Every Day

by Daughter is Trying
(Alabama)

Grateful to still have my Mom , but sad that it is such a bummer for her. I can't help but try to provide my mother with some joy in her situation, but I am exhausted.

I cant believe the contrast between my life and my brothers. Not only are they completely free and undistracted to focus on their lives, I am told it is my fault that I don't have any money, I should have earned more, I didn't want it bad enough.

I am so frazzled I can hardly get through each minute, never mind trying to focus on earning money.

My car is old and I fear it will break down any minute, yet I can hardly deal with keeping up with whats in front of me, cant fit in trying to figure out how to try to get a replacement.

Now after years of caregiving, I am older and not desirable as an employee or a wife.

I am broke. But I still give my dear mother care daily.

So unfair. I see other people living great lives and I feel like I am sinking in quicksand.

My mother is only 85 . The money will run out soon, and I will have possibly even worse trouble in the future.

I try to hold onto faith, in belief that I am a good hardworking person, and that somehow it will all work out.

I know I should be smarter and provide for myself better, but I am so drained trying to keep both my mother and myself going..

How can people not see that I need help? How can my brothers not offer help? How come no one ever says to me "what can I do to help you?" I would ask them to visit my mom, take her for a car ride, give me a small break. Or how about a relative with plenty of resources offering to provide me with some financial help? They all know I'm broke. What does that mean? They don't care if I sink into utter poverty? I guess so. I am not worth anything to them. And even so, I will go help my mom now. I would never abandon her.

I scrape along, my boyfriend gave me money to get by this month, but he is so sick of all this. He wants to get away from it. So I may not have his help much longer.

Only another caregiver can understand the complete exhaustion and confusion.

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