Exasperated - Doctors, Please Look Beyond Treatment to the Bigger Picture

by Anoymous

Phone calls from both parents, "can you come" are relentless. My elderly, profoundly disabled Dad has just had another fight for life since being treated for an appalling infection that quickly spread throughout his body.


He's been left with brain damage and the mind of a child. I asked the doctors if such aggressive medical treatment was necessary at this age and stage of his life, asking that he'd be given medication to ease his physical pain and obvious distress.

I would leave the hospital in floods of tears; that's not how my Dad would want to be remembered, and I know it. But I wasn't listened to - again. The torrid sights I've seen will be seared into my brain for an eternity.

Doctors, please look beyond what IV antibiotics, oxygen, drips, drains, suction, intubation, etc., do for a patient in medical crisis.

Look at what caused the medical crisis in the first place - (total immobility following a serious stroke many, many years ago, housebound, and a complete dependence upon others so as to live the most denigrating, humiliating existence).

Now, mentally diminished as well. I love you Dad and I'm so sorry that I can't help at the level you need. I'm afraid you'll have to sell your house to live in a nursing home after all. Mum, you'll have to move out and live somewhere else, after 55 years of living there with Dad.

Doctors, look at the bigger picture.

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Living Will
by: Anonymous

It sounds like your Dad needed to do a living will. Or a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). It lets the patient have legal right to a Doctor not doing what these Drs are doing in his case.

I am so sorry to hear all this. My prayers are with you and your family.


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