Elderly Parents Moved in Next Door and Wrecked my Life!

by Katalina
(Washington)

5 years ago my 82 year old parents moved in next door to my husband and I. They have always had a miserable marriage and have always tried to involve me in their drama. I knew it would be a disaster so I clearly and kindly told my father that it would be too close and we didn't want it.


He was shocked at my words, but agreed to talk to my mother, and said he would "fix it all up". His words. Anyway, a few months later the calls started up, trying to guilt, shame and manipulate me into letting them move in next door. I held my ground for as long as I could, but finally to my eternal regret, I agreed.

They promptly bought the house, which had been on the market for over a year. The first few months were ok as they were fairly busy, but after that everything went downhill very very fast.

My father caused huge blowups over silly issues like clover in my lawn or a shrub on the fence line that had roots in his lawn....even turned the sprinkler system off on our side of his lawn because I wouldn't do as I was told.

The ugliness started piling up. Anytime we wouldn't do as we were told they got angry. They would give us the silent treatment, talk to neighbours on the street about us....etc. etc. I was so hurt and so upset I got acid reflux, insomnia. My husband and I started fighting.

I felt sick, guilty, angry, powerless. Slowly, I started standing my ground, but it took so much from me. I had always thought if I was kind and agreeable, other people would act that way back. With narcissistic parents, they see that kind of behaviour as weak and an invitation to try to control you.

My mother died 6 months ago.

I thought things might get better, but they are much worse. I really can't go on. We are now talking about moving away.

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