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Elderly Parents Caregiver Stress: 10 Steps for Relief

Elderly Parents Caregiver Stress: 10 Steps for Relief

Care giving is an extremely stressful task – mentally, physically and emotionally.

Caregivers are generally 'on call' 24/7, with very little help from other family members. Care giving, as many caregivers find out, can be a physically and emotionally demanding, draining and frustrating task that may take its toll on health, spirit and psyche.

Caregiver Stress

Most caregivers, regardless of age or the needs of an elderly parent, go through periods of stress and anxiety. Caregivers must also take care of family responsibilities as well as the needs of the aging parent, communicating with doctors, dealing with appointments and emotional issues caused by dementia or Alzheimer's.

Today, nearly 80% of individuals diagnosed with dementia or various stages of Alzheimer's are taken care of at home by adult children or other close family members. In such situations, the caregiver is at an increased risk of stress.

If you are a caregiver, answer the following questions to determine if you might be under some level of stress.

* Do you feel that you spend so much time caring for your elderly parent that you don't have any time left over for yourself?

* Do you feel your health has been compromised because of the physical, emotional or mental demands of care giving?

* Do you sometimes wish you could leave the care of your elderly parents to someone else?

* Do you wonder what the future holds for the both of you?

What issues are difficult for you when caring for Mom and Dad? Click here to see what others are saying and to share your own experience.

Caregiver Stress - Common Health Problems

Many caregivers suffer from health problems related to stress, including but not limited to:

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Physical injury

* Increased risk of drug or alcohol abuse

* Decreased immune system functions and more illnesses

* Higher mortality risk

Take into consideration the fact that a caregiver may be required to spend an average of 70 hours of care every week for an elderly parent who has been diagnosed with moderate to severe stages of Alzheimer's. For such reasons, it is vital that caregivers not to neglect their own physical, mental or emotional health.

Stress Relief for Caregivers of Elderly Parents

Caregivers who practice stress relief measures and try to stay as active as possible feel better about their situation, and themselves, than those who don't.

Taking care of the caregivers should be a major priority of family members and friends of those who take care of seniors.

Caregivers themselves can take charge of their health by following a few guidelines for relief every day. Here are 10 ways to nurture your own body, spirit and soul, even if you are taking care of a senior 24 hours a day.

* Take time for yourself – Even if it's 5 minutes at a time, try to find a few minutes for yourself every day. Go outside. Sit down and meditate. Watch T.V. Read a magazine. Just take 5-minute increments for yourself as often as possible throughout the day.

* Exercise – 15 minutes of stretching, yoga, dancing… anything to help your body and spirit de-stress.

* Get Outside! – Every day, try to go outside, even if it's for a few minutes – open the windows – a breath of fresh air can be invigorating!

* Eat well – Eat well-balanced and nutritious meals, remember your vitamins and drink at least 68 ounces of water every day.

* Sleep – This is a tough one, but do try to get at least 6-8 hours of sleep every night. If you have to, schedule naps when your elderly parent naps to make up for lost hours.

* Smile – Try to find something to smile or laugh about every day.

* Listen to your body – Don't ignore your aching back or your growing depression. Listen to your body and take care of it.

* Ask for help – Don't be afraid to ask for help. Many people are more than willing to help, but are afraid to butt in or imply that you can't do it yourself.

* Zone out – Read, meditate, pray – do something that brings you comfort and relief – do it every day without fail.

* Set limitations – Don't push your body to the limit. If something's wrong, get it taken care of before it becomes something much worse.

Nurture the Elderly Parent Caregivers

Taking care of an aging parent may offer a sense of accomplishment and pride, but it also takes its toll in obvious and not-so-obvious ways. If you are a caregiver, find community resources to help. If you are the relative of a caregiver, do what you can to make her life easier. She deserves it. For a great site with more information on helping with stress issues please see

What Stress are You Feeling as a Caregiver?

How do you Cope? Is it your siblings or your parents...your spouse? What do You do for Relief?

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What Other Visitors Have Said

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

HELP if no one Helps I am Going to run Away and Leave my 88 year old Mother ! Cannot take it any More!  starstarstarstarstar
Please give me some advice! Wrote before on this site twice already! But, had another argument withe my 88 year old mother (I am 54 and my daughter living ...

Caught in the Middle  starstarstarstarstar
Hello,
Where do I begin? I didn't realize there were so many of us out there till I got on this page. I am taking care of my boyfriend's father 24/7. My ...

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I do not have a medical background and am challenged and anxious when helping my parents and their physicians decide on a course of treatment for them....

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Feel Lost  starstarstarstarstar
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I am feeling stress because everybody wants something from me and I do not have time to give to everything that is going on.

I have to be reminded ...

Mood Swings and Pouting   starstarstarstarstar
It is hard to get up and spend time with my Father. He came to live with us in January of this year.
My Husband is GREAT!!!! at helping out.

Dad ...

Frustrations  starstarstarstarstar
My no. 1 frustration in dealing with my Mother is her constant desire to go back to her home and her constant worry over who will look after her.

Everyday ...

Exhaustion  starstarstarstarstar
My Great Uncle, 85 years of age, has requested I be his power of attorney. I have done so for approximately 6 months. His living conditions were awful....

Two Parents with Alzheimer's/Dementia  starstarstarstarstar
Myself and my three siblings feel lucky that Alzheimer's/dementia was late onset for our parents. It only started about two years ago but what has happened ...

Losing Myself  starstarstarstarstar
My mother in law has been living with us for two years. She has some dementia and doesn't walk well. We took her out of her apartment to live here. She ...

Alone without Family Assistance  starstarstarstarstar
I am the sole remaining child of two elderly parents (88 and 89). One with progressive dementia and one who is bedridden and fairly passive.

I have ...

I am a Better Mother to my Mother then She Was to Me.  starstarstarstarstar
My mother married 3 times,..and had 5 serious relationships for my years in high school. She left me alone with her alcoholic abusive husband,..divorced ...

Suspicious and Spiteful Elderly Mother  starstarstarstarstar
My mother lives in an independent living facility and she is 92. Recently she was rushed to the emergency room and diagnosed with congestive heart failure....

Feelings of Stress, Hoplessness, Guilt, Anger and severe Depression  starstarstarstarstar
I am a 36 yr old single mother of 2 (14 and 8). I am not an only child but I do not know my siblings well. They do not come around nor do they call and ...

Quick Question  starstarstarstarstar
Just curious ... my elderly mother is in a wheelchair and falls asleep and seems to want to catnap in her chair .... It is a little frustrating when I ...

Unfair Judgement from Male Siblings RE: Mom 90yrs Old  starstarstarstarstar
HI! My mother of 90yrs old, whom I love very much, was admitted to the local emergency, 2 weeks ago. We honestly , thought this was her last day, but like ...

Mother in law that Pulls in Family Members and Friends with Lies and Destructive Gossip  starstarstarstarstar
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Exausted  starstarstarstarstar
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I Care for my Mom, Would not Want to Place Her in Nursing Home.  starstarstarstarstar
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Overwhelming  starstarstarstarstar
My biggest problem is that there is no help from other family members. The whole responsibility has been placed on my shoulders to the point that I can'...

Stressed to the Max over Demands of Family Members  starstarstarstarstar
Out of 6 siblings, 3 of us take an active role in caring for my elderly parents.

My father is terminally ill, and he requires some kind of care due ...

A Brother and an Old Parent  starstarstarstarstar
Some people only have to take care of one sick person. Me, I happen to have to take care of two: one (1) a bedridden, alcoholic, abandoned by his wife ...

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My Parents are Driving Me Insane  starstarstarstarstar
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A Mean & Hurtful Mother....  starstarstarstarstar
I am the sole survivor in my family and I have medical, legal & financial Power Of Attorney.

My brother ( her "baby" ) passed away Oct. 2009 & my daughter ...

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Full time Carer for Elderly Father  starstarstarstarstar
My stress relates to not being able to have any sort of life of my own, due to having to care for my elderly dad. Also, I do not have any emotional support,...

Mum has Refused to Wash Herself   starstarstarstarstar
Mum is in her 80s and her and her bed smells really bad: my father or I makes sure the linen is changed regularly and her clothes cleaned; but she refuses ...

Keeping it Together...  starstarstarstarstar
How am I keeping it together?
I am not a religious person.... more spiritual, and I do pray and ask for help to be a good care giver and to always do ...

Where did Our life Go?  starstarstarstarstar
Hi, my husband and I bought a house together with my Mom when my Dad passed away. My Mom is 80 years old and is blind, she also has a aneurysm and a tear ...

I feel Frustration, which Causes Resentment then I feel Guilty for Feeling that Way!  starstarstarstarstar
My Mother is a great person. I owe her... in this life and maybe others. She had always been needy even when I was a child.
I have tried to stay close ...

Anger and Frustration  starstarstarstarstar
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Stress from Outsiders  starstarstarstarstar
My particular stresses come from my job and from friends. My job is somewhat understanding of my care giving responsibilities but the stress comes in the ...

Mom doesnt want to be Bothered with the Assisted Living Events depends on Me Only to Talk to  starstarstarstarstar
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Caregiver Stress - A Hamster on the Wheel...  starstarstarstarstar
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Caregiver Stress - Caring for My 96 Year Old Father  starstarstarstarstar
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Caregiver Stress - My Brothers do not even Respond to Phone Calls when my Mother is in the Emergency room.  starstarstarstarstar
She recently spent 2 days in the hospital and neither brother called or visited her. I am so angry I don't know what to do with it.

This has been ...

Sibling Caregiver Anger and Resentment - A Different Take  starstarstarstarstar
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Stress , Please Help.  starstarstarstarstar
I need someone to help me and answer my questions to my e-mail.

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We're OK the Rest of the World is a Pain.  starstarstarstar
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Resentment for an Elderly Parent  starstarstarstar
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Caregiving 24/7  starstarstar
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I am under stress and have asked ...

Mean  star
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She ...

Every Little Thing is Like Moving a Mountain  Not rated yet
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My Grandmother very Stubborn, in Everything.  Not rated yet
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I feel sorry for my ...

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I am Exhausted and Feel I have Used a lot of my Life on my Parent...  Not rated yet
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I ...

Stress  Not rated yet
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Expectation of my Mother-in-Law to be Treated Daily as if She was Visiting Royalty!  Not rated yet
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Over the years, she has ...

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Fighting Over Finances  Not rated yet
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Always demanding to have another cigarette. When she is suppose to cut back, and yelling for another cigarette. She has a small kidney and the tar is destroying ...

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So many times I read (google search) about music companies donated acoustic or other guitars to public schools or music universities for the students. An ...

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He ...

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Further strain as Mother won't go to respite ...

Part 2 "Unfair Judgement From Male Siblings Re: 90 year old MOM  Not rated yet
HI! I would like to "THANK" everyone for the support received, regarding my " Unfair Judgement from my male siblings....

After, talking with younger ...

CAN NOT UNDERSTAND THE DYNAMIC  Not rated yet
I've been in the caregiver role for almost four years, and I've contributed here before, but the last couple weeks have me at the end of my rope.

Mom ...

Frustrated  Not rated yet
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24//7 care of my Mum, Who has Dementia  Not rated yet
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I am the care giver for my 81 elderly mother.
My mom has health issues but none that are serious. I make sure all her needs are met.

I noticed lately ...

"Town Without Pity"  Not rated yet
Beginning in the 80s, I noticed that various friends, acquaintances and mostly family members were lecturing me about my lack of concern for my mother....

Father Long Distance  Not rated yet
My mother died Oct 30 2010 and we placed my father in assisted living. He is nearly 90 and my mother did everything for him. He did not want to come and ...

My Elderly Father Insists he Can do it All for Mom.  Not rated yet
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Concerned for my Mom  Not rated yet
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They spent a great deal of time yelling and screaming at each other....

Get Power of Attorney  Not rated yet
I got power of attorney today and now able to legally manage everything. It also means that I can legally keep my brothers who are hanging in the wings ...

My Dads Wife  Not rated yet
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Resentment, Imposition  Not rated yet
My parents were far from perfect parents and even worse grandparents to my children.

They became homeless and guess where they wound up. And now my ...

Isolated by duty  Not rated yet
Care giving of my mother has nearly cost me everything. I'm a 45 year old single parent to a 14 year daughter and caring for my 77 year old Mother. I ...

Caregiver Stress - It's Never Enough...  Not rated yet
Because I quit my job and helped my dad care for my mother until she died, my siblings expect me to do the same thing for dad. The problem is that I loved ...

Caregivers are Angels in disguise or in tshirts and jogging pants ,lol  Not rated yet
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Caregivers are People Too  Not rated yet
For the last six years I have been taking care of all of the medical, physical and emotional needs of my mom since she was diagnosed with dementia then ...

Caregiver Stress - What Stress as a Care Giver???  Not rated yet
It's a let me count them experiences:

1) trying to get her some place safe and affordable.

2) enduring petty miserable sibling's attitude but absolutely ...

Care Giver Stress - When do I Step In?  Not rated yet
When do you know to step in or not?

My mom and dad are not eating healthy. My dad is healthiest, mom is in pain and on so many medicines she is always ...

Dealing with Elderly Parent and Making a Life  Not rated yet
Dealing with an Elderly Parent and attempting to have a life is more difficult than I imagined even a few years ago. Now that my Dad is in his eighties ...



Elderly Parents Caregiver Stress Back to Main Stress Page

Role Reversal - You and Your Elderly Parents

Senior Stress and Anger

Communication with Seniors

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Assessing Needs

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