Caregivers of Elderly Parents - Dealing with Anger and Resentment

Caregivers of Elderly Parents - Dealing with Anger and Resentment

It's difficult not to feel occasional anger and resentment if you're a primary caregiver who seems to be doing all the work caring for your parents – especially if other family members live nearby but are content to leave the details of such elderly care giving to you.

Or conversely, to be the caregiver of senior parents (determined solely by geographical location or because you're ‘the oldest') who is trying to do the best you can, but who must constantly listen to advice or criticism offered by other family members who may or may not be willing to offer actual help.

How do you deal with complaints, second-guessing and demands from senior parent siblings who want to offer advice, but can't (or won't) offer to help financially, physically or emotionally to help care for your senior Mom and Dad?

Dealing with Siblings

Care giving, especially when an senior parent lives in your home, is a 24-an hour a day job. Many sons and daughters (mostly daughters) find themselves in the role of primary caretaker, whether they asked for the job or not. Often, this choice is delegated by unspoken agreement among other family members that you are “best suited to provide care for Mom”. You might work part-time, or be a stay-at-home Mom or run a home-based business.

Caregiver Anger and Resentment Woman with Hands on Face

 In such cases, other family members may feel you don't “have a real job” so you have the time to care for your elderly parents. You may have been delegated to the role of primary caregiver because you live closest to Mom or Dad.

Disagreements about what should be done, what can be done and what has been done may crop up. Many caregivers must take on added financial responsibilities when caring for an elderly parent, (which Mom or Dad might not offer or be able to help pay for) and siblings often don't realize or acknowledge that their sibling might need some extra help.

So how do you as a caregiver of elderly parents deal with the anger, frustration or resentment when it's your life that's suddenly been turned upside down, and you now have not only children, but also a husband and a job that needs your attention too? Care giving for elderly parents involves dozens of decisions, some that must be made immediately, and dealing with suggestions, complaints or second guessing from siblings is the last thing you need.

Get Everyone Involved

Whenever possible, try to keep all family members involved in the care giving process, even if they live far away and need to be updated by phone. Tell siblings and other family members what they can do to help. It doesn't have to be physical help, but may involve a supportive phone call every week, an offer to help pay for a home care health aide, or help in making long-term decisions regarding senior medical care, legal issues, or finances.

Are You Completely Stressed Out?

Do you resent your siblings for not helping care for Mom and Dad? Are you being shut out of elderly care decisions? Are your elderly parents asking too much?

Read What Others are Saying and let Us know What You Think...

Elderly Caregiver Anger and Resentment

Here are a few tips toward maintaining open communication with siblings:

  • Update them frequently.
  • If a sibling offers constant criticism but no help, gently but firmly explain that until he or she is willing to share in the responsibilities, you must continue doing the best you can with the tools you have.
  • Let your siblings know what you are doing to provide elderly care – tell them everything – the nitty gritty details that they probably aren't even aware of.
Financial Issues with Caring for Mom and Dad....Will there be enough to last? See what others are saying and leave a comment of your own.
  • Be vocal in welcoming advice and help in your elderly parent's care – this can be financial, legal, or medical.
  • Be clear in telling siblings exactly what you would like them to do, or what you need them to do for you.
  • Always use “I” and avoid accusations – for example, instead of saying "You never help,” say, “I feel stressed or overwhelmed."
  • Be willing to compromise when you ask for someone's help.
Caregiver Sibling Rivalry

When Siblings Don't Help....read what others are saying in the Forum

Elder Care at Home - Dealing with Guilt and Resentment

You feel resentful and angry that your freedom is gone. You work hard at your job, then rush home to take care of Dad, who's suffering from mid-stage Alzheimer's or a bedridden Mom who needs help with just about everything. It's natural to feel anger and resentment over realizing that your life is no longer your own.

It's also natural to feel guilty over such thoughts. We berate ourselves for being selfish, compassion less or self-centered. However, remember that this also is a natural process. Don't beat yourself up over such thoughts.

Acknowledge them. Find someone to talk to about them - close friends, a sibling, or your pastor.

People will understand, so don't judge yourself too harshly. Accept the fact that you're human and not super-woman.

Find a local support group for caregivers of elderly parents where you can freely express your stress and frustrations and you won't be criticized or judged for voicing such feelings. Finding an outlet for anger and resentment is the best way to face it down and overcome it.

Topics on Caregiver Stress when Dealing with Siblings on Parent's Care

Caregiver Anger and Resentment

Anger and Resentment

Anger and Resentment of Caregiver

Caregiver Anger and Resentment

Sibling Rivalry of Elderly Caregiver

Sibling Rivalry and Resentment as Caregiver

Do you resent being the "chosen one" caregiver to your elderly parent?

Are you angry that your siblings do not contribute as much as they should? Mom and Dad expecting too much?

Read below what others are saying and make a comment on their subject or create your own to get advice from other readers in the group!

[ ? ]

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

(first or full name)

(e.g., City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

 submission guidelines.


(You can preview and edit on the next page)

What Other Visitors Have Said

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Had enough  
I am 26 years old. I am full of zest and love to live my life to the fullest. I have everything going for me, great job, wonderful boyfriend, friends, …

Feeling Guilty and Resentful 
My mom is 93 and lives alone 1 hour away from me. My dad died 40 yrs ago. I have a brother who lives 4 hours away so he is not of much help. He has offered …

Single Selfish Little Sister? 
My father died in 2012, leaving my 76 year old mother a widow after 55 years. She has no real friends and makes no effort to change. She suffers from chronic …

I'm Not Responsible For Mom's Happiness 
Mom's energy drains me. She walks through the house like Igor, clump, drag, clump, drag, clump, drag. She has a bad hip and bends over when she walks and …

Looking for Incontinence Supplies 
I'm looking for a product for women. A pull-on, disposable underwear for bowel incontinence. Any suggestions???

Elderly Mother has Pancreatic Cancer 
My elderly mother has terminal pancreatic cancer and my sister and I are nursing her at home as long as we can. My sister lives with my mother and is the …

Clueless Sibling  
I have been the primary caregiver for my mother for the past 10 years before she passed away last year because she slipped in the kitchen and broke her …

Simple Question Today 
How do I release the anger I feel in my heart for my mom who never acknowledges the years of my life I am giving to her? She lives in her expectation and …

Losing Control of Mom's Life 
I've been taking care of mom for five years. Between last Christmas and this Christmas I've noticed a big decline. For the past few months she has been …

I do the Housework and my Brother is Paid to Manage the Money 
Moved 2000 miles to help care for my mom. I retired early, my husband quit his job, we both draw on our 401k's and until my husband finds a job, we have …

The End Is Uncomfortable Tonight 
I have no other place to express my thoughts at this moment than here, amongst other caregivers who are still where I was. So I'm writing this to let …

Warning: Nobody Wants to Hear This 
I know nobody wants to hear this, but I just have to tell someone. It's Christmas Eve and I just cleaned up mom's bathroom again because she can't make …

In the Blink of an Eye 
In the blink of an eye, it will all change. Last month a friend of mine sat at my kitchen table and told me her mom passed away. She had been caregiving …

It's An Honor 
I am the one to care for my father for circumstances elucidated elsewhere in this blog site. Although it is a sacrifice at times, a burden or hassle or …

Our Marriage is Failing because I Care for my Mom 
My mom who's health is not good due to all her issues now requires 24/7 care. Prior to mom becoming ill I was happily married, in 2010 I told my husband …

I love my mother, my siblings, not so much 
My mother is 84 and has been living in a mobile home on our property for the last year and a half. She was widowed in 2008 and gave up her home and many …

Sit With Mom in Her World 
Mom is edging toward the end of her life. She turns 96 in November. She was born in 1920, the year women in America were given the right to vote. This …

How Much of this Selfishness is Dad's Dementia....How Much is DAD? 
My mother and father were very good to us when we were young, and as "young marrieds". I have had a particularly close relationship with my Mother (my …

I'm So Tired Of It All 
We're supposed to be able to vent on this page, right? So I'm going to express some gut wrenching things that I never thought I would ever feel, let alone …

More Thoughts.... 
I have shared a couple of times to this site. Healthcare in many venues was my career. Today, as I was reading comments something struck me; some of the …

I Wish I Could have Something in Life 
I am 43 years old. My sister and stepbrother I have not seen or talked to in years. Mom and Dad are both in terrible shape. It's as though they don't seem …

Enough Said 
For the past five years, I have lived with my 95 year old mother in her home. Last night my brother, who lives two states away in Montana, sent me this …

Caregiver/R.N. 
I have been taking care of my 84 year old Mom for the last 5 years, and my Dad, now for 2 years. Both of my sisters live in the same town and maybe …

Very Concerned Wife and Daughter in Law 
My husband is an only child and we were recently married. His mother has struggled with cancer, obesity, incontinence, and mobility. She lived independently …

Click here to write your own.

Demand Legislative Intervention! 
There is a caregiving explosion in our nation which is taking a heavy toll on families - mentally, emotionally and physically. I am 67 and had to …

Needs of My Mother Before My Daughter  
I moved my mom into my home in March of 2014. She grieved at leaving her city, her own home,and my sister, her other daughter. I prayed with her, encouraged …

I Don't Know how Much More I can Handle... 
I found this site online after searching today for some help. I'm at a loss and don't know how much more I can take. My mother is a 60 year old woman …

Thank You! 
This site is a blessing, it's Biblical for strength and soothing. It's like a cleansing release of the raging, heavy, ugly, unforgivable secret that I …

Feeling trapped 
I have been a single,divorced Mom for 5 years and now that my youngest has graduated high school,I thought I would have freedom to possibly find a love …

I Have A Candle to Light The Darkness--But No Match 
My mother needs to go to the podiatrist. Her feet look like she could snatch a salmon out of a river. But I'm sick of having to deal with this, on top …

Toenails....gross, eh? 
Most of us have probably reached the toenail stage. One day you happen to get a glance of those bare feet and you're appalled. How do those toenails even …

So, so tired! 
It's been about 5 years into being the primary caregiver for my Mom. Both of my siblings (a brother & sister) live in other states. Their comments to …

Caring for an Aging Narcissistic Mother 
I resent her. I resent my brother who NEVER helps. He actually said to me once, when I brought up the issue, "you guys seem so happy"....as if we are …

I'm So Tired of This 
I'm so tired of this situation and there's nowhere else to complain but here. If I complain to my brother, he can't fix it so he doesn't really even want …

Family Conflict 
My mother-in-law is 84 years old and lives in her own home. For the past nine months, my brother and sister-in-law have made weekly to biweekly visits …

Didn't Know Siblings Could be so Hateful! 
I never knew siblings could be so hateful, mean and outright devious towards their own flesh and blood. I read your stories and could not believe that …

Resentful/Guilty/Sad 
So glad to see these posts and know I'm not alone. I'm an only child ( sister died a long time ago). I agree with what everyone is sharing. I have done …

Narcissitic and Absent Sibling...no help 
Yes. The guilt and anger are real. A brother, who was the golden child in parents' eyes, is no help. Parents express that "he's too busy or he does …

No Privacy 
My mother moved in with my husband and I several years ago. We have a small home and she is always with us. we have to go outside to discuss private …

Mothers Assistant 
Life-ing it with MOM. Yes, I am angry that my siblings do not understand what it is like living with Mom. I feel many times Mother wants or expects …

My Sister's Resentment Makes Her Mean 
I live far away from my family due to work. My parents are in the decline of their lives. My Dad, with cancer is so good, doing so much to care for my …

Change of Life Child, to be Slave for Mother 
Well, from the start of my life I've been told by my Mother that her previous husband before he died, told her that she needed to have one more child to …

Loved Rollercoasters as a Child but Now so Sick of Living on One 
My heartbreaks to see what my poor life has become. Wish she had a disease that people want to rally behind unfortunately she has a disease that strikes …

Never Wanted It 
My mom and I never got along, shes overbearing, abuser, when younger she was verbally and physical abuser. My brother and I grew up being told we …

Sole Caregiver 
I am going to be 60 years old next month. Almost 2 years ago, my husband walked out on me, leaving me in a strange state with no friends, no family. …

Nothing Left of Me 
I care for my mum 84 and dad 82, as well as my disabled son (27 with a brain injury after trying to hang himself.) My older brother is an alcoholic, …

Left Alone.....Jokingly 
I am the youngest 51 now my parents were great for the most part. 25 years ago my dad had a stroke one morning and was paralyzed for life and retired …

Advise for caring for Mom! 
I have been taking care of my Mom for almost 2 years now, I actually took care of her and my Dad for a lot longer. My Dad got Cancer which I took care …

The True cost of Caregiving 
I am compelled to take care of my mother. No matter what the cost to me. I would never abandon her. It is an ongoing, detailed, absolutely consuming process. …

Click here to write your own.

I Can't Handle the Stress! 
I have been helping my parents for over 5 years. My Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2010 and passed away in 2011. I was there almost constantly …

From Experience 
I've been taking care of my mother for almost 13 years. For those of you reading all the posts, please do not judge. Anyone that takes a parent in to …

Troubled and Questioning my Own Actions 
I've just turned fifty and have been living with my mom since around 2004 when I lost my job of eight years and being a single mother of two daughters. …

I Get It 
I think people block us out because they operate by blocking out any feelings or guilt that they have about leaving the entire responsibility to one sibling. …

Alzheimer's Mom 
I took my mum in 4 years ago before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and the disease has consumed me almost - fortunately a Carers course and observations …

My Life and Health are Suffering 
I am in Australia and came across this website. I am 50 and care for my almost 92 year old dad. He is frail aged with dementia. Mum died suddenly aged …

Exhausted, Broke and Terrorized by My Brothers 
I have cared for my Alzheimer's mother for 4 years now. The long and winding road has taken me thru hell some of the time, and some times I am so grateful …

Angry and resentful... 
I'm 28 my mother is 55 and has been diagnosed with MS 19 years, she's now at the stage where she's wheelchair bound and has very weak arms/hands pretty …

Deep Resentement Towards my 2 Older Sisters 
I am the youngest of three sisters, and was the one to take Mom (with dementia) in with my husband and I shortly after my Dad passed away. I cared for …

Advice for Handling Older Arrogant Brother 
I need advice on how to get along with my hateful brother. I am the youngest(brother is 4 years older). My brother has never had a job. My Dad has a cattle …

Blessed but Oh soo Stressed!!! 
Hi! I just stumbled upon this site & being that I'm once again experiencing turbulence in the unsteady navigation of care giving to my elderly, terminally …

A Generational or Gender Issue? 
I'm the fourth of five sons, with a 94 year old mother presently an independent retiree, though health issues are seeing her ability to cope diminish fairly …

Annoyed 
I have been the caregiver for my father and his wife(who is not my biological mother). I also work full time, they refuse to move close to the family and …

When Push Comes to Shove You're on Your Own!! 
I certainly am cheesed off with being the only carer and no one in the world can help me or want to. My husband has had Parkinson's disease since he …

breJM 
My wife, an only child, died in May after a terrible 2 year battle with breast cancer. Her 89 year old mother that lived across the street from us, moved …

No Support or Compassion from Siblings 
Working 60 plus hours a week and caring for sick mom, sister does not even call the mom, but once in a great while. While she is selfish married to …

At Wits End, and All Alone 
Back in 2005 my Dad started acting strange. He would go for walks and become lost. He couldn't drive without Mom telling him what to do. Finally, I …

Ostracized 
I am actually trying to assist in my father's care, but my sister continues to interfere. I am submitting this in this forum hoping to get insight into …

Fed Up 
My mother is becoming more belligerent at 94. She's in independent living and bowls yet at 94. My husband went into cardiac arrest this past June and …

The Siblings Whose Offers of Help are Turned Down 
My father, age 92, has been living alone independently rather successfully for the past ten years. One of my sisters lives two miles from him, attends …

I'm Feeling Hateful 
My mother has been with me 10 years. I'm 60, she's 91. I'm divorced and my daughter lives in another town. I'm the only daughter out of 4 children and …

I'm at the End 
My mom came to live with us a few months ago and now I just want her to go away. She tries to exert control over my home. I have no privacy. My …

Three Years I Took Care of my Mom who has Cancer, Arthritis, COPD, and Dementia with No Help from Siblings at all 
Took care of my mom for three years...I moved her in with my family and I. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister, they did not help, seldom came to visit …

Lonely, depressed and feeling guilty 
When I was a little girl my mother treated me differently then the other three. I watched as she kissed and loved on them wondering why she never kissed …

Reality of Longer Lives 
I believe in humanitarian efforts so much that I have been a caregiver all my life for others. Now that my elderly mother lives with me, though, I've come …

Click here to write your own.

Daughter 
I have a sick aged 91 year old mother sick for 15 years with cops and the last almost 5 years unable to be independent at all. Has side 10x7. But problem …

Becoming an Angry & Bitter Person 
I'm 23 years old I take care of my grandmother that's 60 she's bedridden and overweight I've been doing it almost a year now. I really don't mind but …

Sole Caregiver for Verbally Abusive Elderly Mother and Father Diagnosed with Alzheimer's 
I am 54 years old. I live with my mother and father, who are 84 and 85 years old. I have no income, no job, no home of my own and no savings. I also …

All Alone and No One to Help me with 88 Year Old Mother with Dementia 
I'm a 63 year old female, widowed seven years ago and had to move back in with my widowed mother for financial reasons. Up until two years ago she …

Sibling Decides to Move 1,000 Miles Away to Leave me with the Entire Caregiver Burden 
I've been my mother's caregiver for the last 2-1/2 years. I have an older brother who is retired and lives close by. Mom turns 90 today, her health …

Assisted Living has Worked Out Really Well so Far 
It's been one month now that my mother has been in the Assisted Living home, and I am so relieved to be able to tell you that it is working out very nicely! …

Only Child Caretaker to 93 Year Old Parent. Feeling Abandoned by my Family 
I am responsible for taking care of my dad. Not one person in the family as been there for me to help out. His brother and sister have nothing to do with …

Daughter 
Sold my house and moved in with my elderly mother (she's 89...will be 90 in September and I am 69) to help care for her 6 months ago because I felt the …

German Mother in Law Problems 
I am taking care of a 91-year-old mother-in-law that has always been uncaring towards me when I first married my husband she's selfish self-centered. …

I Thought Assisted Living Would Solve my Problem, Now it's a Nightmare  
I finally decided to place my mother in an assisted living/memory care community. The staff were so sweet and made it sound like it would all be so wonderful. …

How do I Muster up Needed Patience & Caring? 
My mother in law is staying with us for 4 months or so. She has multiple health issues. My husband left the fourth day she was here to go redo my mom's …

Caregiver for Elderly Mum and Brother with No Help from Other Sibling Brothers 
I am so bitter and angry - I am the "chosen one" - my 91 year old mother adores my 4 brothers (well, three of them, next on her list is my eldest brother, …

Caregiver for Elderly Mother 
My husband was diagnosed with severe heart disease 12 years ago. He slowly but surely got worse and worse, then died 2 years ago after a long and agonizing …

I Will Not Do This to My Kids!!! 
I have had enough. I am the younger of two siblings. I have had the sole responsibility of dealing with the care of my parents. I assisted my mom, …

Otherwise Healthy 81 Year Old Dad has Given up and Relying on Alcohol. 
Mom is six years younger than dad. I am the eldest of three children. Dad is an otherwise healthy man other than two failed knee replacements. They …

I Hate my Mother and Father 
I am the sole caregiver for my 70 year old mother who has late stage dementia. She is in diapers and is incontinent pretty much all the time. I live …

I Have Had Enough 
After taking care of my mother that had lung cancer by my self she lost her fight after 2 years. I was thrown into the role as sole caretaker of 91 …

No Funding for In Home Caregivers 
After all is said and done, if you are supporting an elder (who cannot be left alone for safety reasons) you are stuck. Each state has their own 'fund' …

Can't Deal with Father in Law Living with Us Anymore 
I am 46 years old with a husband and three children age 17,8, and 10. After my husband's mother died, his sister took in my father in law for about 2 years. …

Future on Hold 
Hi, my mom suffers from paranoia, depression, and probably an eating disorder. My dad became a hoarder and fell into a lot of debt. It was hard for …

Confessions of a Fellow Caregiver 
I am all alone with the care of my elderly mother. She is 85 years old and she is a stranger to me. I still remember the mother that use to be as she …

Frustrated & Overwhelmed  
I am a single 45 year old woman with three children, my youngest is 12. My mother is 81 years old and three years ago decided to stop taking an active …

I am Sole Caregiver for my Elderly Parents and My Father has Threatened to Kick Me out of the House 
My Father recently got violent with me. He slapped my face and grasped my arm. He told me he can do anything he wants to do and kick me out of the house …

Siblings 
It seems to be very easy for siblings to turn a blind eye toward our situations. I have a brother who lives in another state, and granted it's not easy …

I am Terribly Stressed 
My parents took me and my two children in after a bad marriage to an emotional abuser. I got a job, but the salary was not enough to allow me to get a …

Click here to write your own.

Lost, Sad and Sometimes Troubled  
My mother passed a year ago to cancer and my step dad was diagnosed with cancer and is in recovery. The problem is he's helping my sibling's financially …

How I Deal with Alzheimer's Mom 
Real simple...I agree with everything she says or I make something up because she's going to ask me again in five minutes so what difference does it make? …

On My Own Here 
My 84 yr old mother has stage 5/6 Alzheimer's. About a month ago I moved her from her apartment in Maryland to my home in Florida, so that she would be …

I Feel Like I am a Slave to my Elderly Mother 
I have been living at home with my parents for my entire life with the exception of going away to college in the mid 1980's. I was never encouraged to …

No help for me by Family for Our Mother  
My mother had a fall which caused a brain bleed and broken arm and stroke-like symptoms on her right side, which she had to relearn how to walk again. …

Ungrateful Sister in Laws 
My husband and I are taking care of his elderly parents, he has been doing this for 15 years before we got married. He works 12 hours and I have to take …

Mom's Recent Fall 
I have been trying to get my siblings to see how much danger Mom is in living by herself! They refuse, choose, not to see, my brother especially. …

Feeling Guilty 
I suggested that my mother-in-law move in with us a couple years ago because her health was failing and I feared for her living alone. She and my …

Mother in Law 
My mother in law never cared for me. There have been times she has been purposely mean to me but never in front of my husband. My husband always thinks …

Our Mother is an Emotional Downer 
How do you help your newly widowed mother when you live 3,000 miles away? My sister & I live on the East Coast & my 2 brothers live fairly close to …

I Want my Dad to Live with Me.. Says He Wants to Live with Caregiver. 
I have always been close to my Dad and when his wife passed away 3 months ago, I assumed he would want to live with me. My Dad is 82 years old. …

Resentful 
I've cared for my elderly Mother in my home for two years. She has four other children, two which welcome Her to come and stay. She doesn't want …

Wow 
I'm so sorry everyone is going thru this but I'm so glad to know I'm not alone! My mother was never very nice to me. In fact she was mean. When I …

Taking Care of Everyone 
Hi - it is so good to be somewhere where a lot of other people are going through similar experiences. My dad's dying, I have a mentally retarded older …

Debora 
Hello, My mum aged 75 had a severe stroke 7 months ago; this has left her needing 24 hour care. She is partially paralyzed, cannot speak, but is responsive. …

Love is the Answer? 
Thank you everyone for your comments. I see there is a trend here with the youngest caring for our parents, and the older siblings self centered, just …

Gab... 
Exactly the above...I have trawled the internet. And finally found something that says what's happening.. My life has been put on hold for the last …

Criticized by Sister in Law on How we are Taking care of Her Mom, but She Won't Help! 
My 86 year old mother in law had a stroke 2 months ago and the doctor said she would now require someone to be with her all the time. My husband, me …

I'm Going to Go Crazy Soon Living Here  
Somehow my life has gotten so messed up. It is all about taking care of an Alzheimer's mother, who is ungrateful, hostile, oblivious to reality. …

I Feel So Alone and Isolated 
My father has been ill for quite sometime now and with Mother gone it has fallen on me to make sure all is taken care of for dad. Between my home family …

Drew 
I am currently in a very bad position regarding care giving. My brother has a long history of being suicidal, negative and depressed. On top of that, …

Not Resentful, just Saddened 
Without all the boring details, I am a 47 year old man. My teen years, through my late 20's, I was a great son. Finished school, joined the Marines, did …

Starting at 59..No Before! 
When I was 33 my mom's 2nd husband was put on dialysis and she went back to work for benefits. I stepped up to help her and ended up taking care of …

Parents Moving In 
Hi guys, I have recently asked my parents to move in with us, as they are both eighty and are starting to have health problems. I really do not want …

Didn't Even Draw Straws 
The Forum here suggests that being "chosen" is something that happens in a family with siblings when someone takes charge of the care of an elder parent. …

Click here to write your own.

Father is a Total Mess Financially and in Other Ways! 
Don't know where to start really other than to say that I have been to timid to ask for details on his finances, health issues and issues like that. Kicking …

I Love my Elder Parents but the Stress of Caregiving is Really Taking it's Toll 
My parents have always been good hard working people who did the right things, I suppose. We are now at the point where we all (my sister and I) just …

Too Many Takers not Enough Givers 
Elderly mom was abused in local South Carolina nursing home mentally and physically. After receiving a call from the ER on call to say pictures were taken …

Only Child needs Guidance from Others Going Through the Same... 
I am an only child. My mother is 81 years old. My father whom I was very close to died 3 years ago suddenly. Since then my mother has been on a health …

Heartbroken and Feeling Used 
I am separated from my husband for six years, but he has PTSD, so I am still here looking after him. His mother has dementia, and I have been helping to …

I DON'T HAVE SIBLINGS!!!!!!!  
I am 67 years old, married with a daughter and grandson who live 50 miles away. My mother is 87 and lives five miles away. I visit every day(except …

How Can I Move my Parents Out of my House? 
My parents age 79 and 81 are doing fairly well. They moved in with me, moving from another state 8 years ago to, "help out with the girls" (ages 6 and …

Next Steps.. 
I am the oldest of six children. My mom already had me when she met and married my step dad. Mom died when she was 39 years old. I never had a good …

Ready to Scream 
My sister and I are dealing with both of our parents, 90 & 92, and they are driving us to despair. My dad has dementia and is quite advanced now, but …

All Alone! 
I helped Dad care for Mom for almost 10 years. She suffered and died from Dementia last year. I thought my life would begin again but now Dad has some …

Exhausted! My siblings and their excuses! Please give me some advice!!! 
My parents are 81 and 82. My dad had a stroke in 2009. He fell apart all at once. I'm the baby girl of the family. I was laid off of work one month before …

Only Sibling of a Newly Disabled Brother & 70 year Old Mother  
My brother was disabled 4 years ago in a motorcycle accident. He was always an angel in my mother's eyes, never did any wrong even though he had a failed …

Care Giver Daughter of Elderly 94 Year Old Dad  
He won't listen to anything I say, talks to me bad treats my husband great...if I tell him something he does the opposite...I only tell him things about …

Feeling Very Sad 
Growing up my mother and I were very close; she let me get away with murder and gave me everything I wanted...as a child this was awesome. However, as …

Unsure What to Do 
My mother has problems with peripheral vascular disease linked to an underlying condition of lupus (sle). She's had ongoing medical problems for several …

Distraught Daughter 
Well, let me tell all of you about the winners (3 sisters) I have had to cope with. Bear in mind I live with my mother' how this came about, was about …

Mother's Fair Haired Child 
I am 58. My brother is 53. Mother is 81, sick, elderly, and I am the only caregiver. My brother does nothing but want his land and money NOW. He has …

Trying to Take Care of 85 yr old Mother when 89 yr old Father will not Let You. 
My father has been verbally & emotionally abusive for all of my 58 yrs. Not just to me, but also to my mother. He is now 89 yr. old, she is 85 yr. old. …

Past the Point of no Return? 
My wife is taking care of her 91 yr old parents. She is the only child. She is doing all the cooking and was doing the cleaning. Our daughter is now helping …

Shut Out of Medical Decisions 
My niece is getting medical Power of Attorney, and I am the sole caregiver for my mom. I know when she is depressed, if she is sick and I am the one …

Here's my dilemma with dad!  
Here's my dilemma with dad! I'm an only child so there is no one to help. I love dad, but some ways I don't. My dad's is great about alienating people! …

Mrs. R 
My elderly mom and handicapped brother came to the states seven years ago. My older brother pays for their expenses but does not want to be bothered at …

Don't Assume 
Trying to keep siblings involved is about as silly ass telling a deadbeat absentee father to care about his kids. They will make token gestures from …

Challenged 
I am the oldest of two siblings, and several years ago our parents made the choice to move close to my husband & I so that they could be a part of their …

Oldest Daughter 
I am the oldest of three daughters. Our Mom passed away 8 years ago from Alzheimer's, and it was my Dad and I who always visited her in the nursing home, …

Click here to write your own.

Distressed Daughter 
Let me start at the beginning, I am the youngest daughter of 6 children. 3 boys and 3 girls. Mom had 7 children within 8 years, she miscarried the 6th. …

Help My 90 Year Old Mother is Killing Me! 
It was 4 1/2 years ago my mother was in debt and she decided it would be best to move in. I have a sister living 5 minutes away sbd never calls nor helps. …

I've Hated Mom all my Life.  
The long and short of it is mom and dad did the best they could and failed. They were anxious, depressed, angry and not expecting to have kids. They …

Very frustrated ~  
I just had a conversation with one of my siblings, a brother, concerning his helping care for our MOM. She has dementia. Cannot live alone. Cannot live …

Mom, Me, Family. Which one do I choose 
I can totally relate with you. My Mom has had severe depression + anxiety problems since I was 15 years old. I am 47 years old now. My Mom has also …

Re-examining the Dutiful Daughter Role 
I find myself still wading thigh high in dangerous reactions to my mentally ill mother: silent anger, resentment, grief, confusion, and so on. I see how …

Communication Lesson 
The struggle continues living with mom, but every time I seem to reach an impasse, some little bit of wisdom trickles in, and I turn a corner. Every …

All Alone and No One Cares 
My 87 year old father has lived in a house at the back of our property for 13 years (since my mother died). Our place was the best place since we had the …

Mom is Just Another Person 
It's been almost two years since moving back home to help Mom out and it's been a terrible roller coaster ride. Everything that was never resolved before, …

Getting Everyone Involved? 
Suppose siblings don't want to become involved? That's where the resentment comes in. I just bought my dream house and took Dad to see it since he will …

Emotional Vampires 
My mom is one of them. I think we all know these kind of people. They can suck the life force out of you from across the room. You can almost …

I Have Never read about a Situation Similar to Mine 
I completely understand how totally upsetting it is to be the primary caregiver when there are siblings who do very little to nothing. In my case, …

Assisted Living: A New Perspective 
I believe I have found my light at the end of the tunnel. It hasn't quite happened yet, but I'm hopeful. At the risk of jinxing it all, I'm going to share …

Now My Medical Appointments Begin???? 
I've been living with mom for almost two years, having moved back into her home to help her out. Today, I'm going to the dermatologist for a weird rash …

Resentment Plus 
Okay had a great relationship with one of my brothers . Offered to take dad to where we live because he could not keep up the house he had at 87. Brothers …

Who Are These People??? 
As I read through these entries, I see a common thread. All the parents seem really selfish in their requests and all the children seem to bend over backwards …

So Many Caregivers, So Little Help For Them 
I worked 30 straight days last month in order to get away from the house for 5 days. I finished the last job and had mom set-up with everything she needed, …

RESENTMENT( end of tether) 
Hi all,my dad died in 1999 when mum was only 56,since then I took over dads role. Mum has always seeked attention saying she was ill since early forties …

Frustrating. Leasa 
When my mother was so terribly ill and I had such an enormous burden on my shoulders, I found this site and it was good to unburden and let go. It was …

Caregiver  
OK here goes...I'm the Daughter in-law or should I say as I've heard said by family members the outlaw! Three years ago my mother-in-law my Best Friend …

Dealing with a Beligerent Father. 
My father is 96 years old, a widower and in an assisted living facility. He's from an era when children sacrificed their lives and freedom for their parents. …

Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place 
I am a single, unemployed 56 year old male. In 2007, I made a decision to move into my parents house and make the attic into a living area for me. I have …

Bedridden Mom and now Dad had Open Heart Surgery 
My sibling lives far away and has just flown across the country to help, so I have no issues there. The issue is with my selfish mom who had been …

Balancing Act 
I had to laugh when I read that Leasa is a nurse, because nurses always have a way of figuratively slapping us up the side of our heads and saying "get …

Only Child of Three 
Parents have lived with husband and myself for 20+ years due to relocating and mom and dad loving our new "home". My husband has been the sole supporter …

Click here to write your own.

Feeling so Hopeless and ready to Crack 
I have been always been close to my parents for years. I have always visited them and helped them with routine things as it gave me joy to be able to help …

And so it is Christmas...and What Have you Done? 
Christmas was just me and mom this year. There's all the rest of the family, but they are all in their own homes with their own families and live a couple …

What is Really in it for the Caregiver? 
I am in my mid 50's taking care of two elderly parents. I clean their home daily, cook and take care of doctors appointments, etc. I have two brothers …

So ... You are the Caregiver, and now You are an Unemployed 'Exaustee' ! 
Here's one I haven't seen any words of wisdom for: caring for my 89 year old Mom, in poor health, and I haven't worked in over 2.5 years. I am not …

Resentment 
When I was growing up I never felt my mom was there for me. She made sure we ate, we had clothes (not a lot) and we had a roof over our head. But my …

Angry that my Siblings Stole from Both Parents then Disowned Everyone. 
My dad died of Alzheimer's my sister got angry at all of us and had him sign everything he worked all his life for over to her. Yes, it was documented …

How to Remain Loving 
My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer 10 months ago. I took her to most of her treatments, doctor's appointments, cooked meals for her, did all of her …

Why can't We Share?? 
Why are some people totally mean and unreasonable about caring for elderly relatives? As a consequence of my sister-in-laws dislike of my dad I have to …

The Saga With Pops Continues 
I wrote about my Dad wanting to put our mom in a home after 46 years of marriage. She has Parkinson's with dementia pretty bad now. He held a meeting …

Moms jailed and Pops is set free 
For about six years my Mom has been dealing with Parkinson's and now has dementia. My Dad and her have been married for 46 years. Mom always dropped …

They Always Disliked me but Now Want me to Care for Them 
My in-laws never approved of me. I have been in their lives for 40 years but because I am of a different background they disapproved of me. Their …

70 year Father 47 year Daughter 
She rarely calls...never invites me to dinner. Has never invited to her home. Would prefer me in assisted living. Never brings me any of her home cooking. …

Going Insane? 
I am 50 years old and have been divorced almost ten years. I thought living with my mother and caring for her was the solution. My two teen children are …

Where are the Laws that Protect the Unpaid Family Caregivers? 
Three years ago I was a healthy 48 yr old single, childless, employed woman with her own apartment. I was struggling some with alcohol and depression after …

My Sister that Lives Close by Never Helps! 
I have been taking care of my mother for the past 5 years. I had an automobile accident, and sustained a really bad injury, went on disability for a year, …

Moving to North Bay at the End of June to Look after Elderly Parents 
I went up to visit my parents for a holiday, but got a surprise when I arrived, I havent been home since I was 18 yrs old. My mother and father both …

What to Do 
My mom is now 80. I am 58. My divorce was final in 2001. Not happy for a long time. My ex did nothing but bad mouth me to everyone who would listen …

Out of Sight and Going out of my Mind 
My Mom has late stage 6 Alzheimer's and out of her grown children only two of her daughters are taking on the care of her. For several years we had her …

ms victoria clifton 
I have recently retired myself after years of hard work. My 83 year mother had a heart attack in September 2011 since then I have had to take on her …

Mom Homeless and Heartbroken 
Several years ago when our Mom started showing signs of Alzheimer's I was happily married and raising my children. I regret I was too caught up with working …

She's Sailing.... I'm Failing.... 
How I wish I had taken the time to study the situation and done things differently. I would not have moved in, I would have moved nearby. I would not …

What is Love anyway? 
Sometimes I wonder if I actually love my mom since caring for her feels so overwhelming and exhausting. Of course I love my mom and yet I feel shut off …

Still No Help from Siblings for my Mom! 
My Mom was placed in a very pricey Alzheimer's care facility last fall. She had acquired several skin infections, several falls, one so serious she was …

Caring for everyone 
MY mother has lived with my husband and I for 4 years. She is 85 and very strong minded, although these days is somewhat lacking in comprehension of everyday …

Why are Family Members so Cruel with Words of Hatred 
In July after many falls my mother was admitted to hospital who then decided she could no longer return to her bungalow and was put into residential home …

Click here to write your own.

Strained Relationships and Mother In Law with Parkinson's Disease Plus 
I have a 8 month old son, even before he was born me and my husband we were having problems. We had to see a therapist but discontinued when we had to …

Mother Will Listen to Uninvolved Brother but not Me. 
My mother is 84 and has severe lymphademis in her legs. I take her to all Doctor appointments, grocery shopping, hair appointments, etc. It is getting …

Only Sibling who is at His End 
My mother has been with me for almost 5 yrs. she thinks that I'm her husband, maid, cook, etc. She thinks my friends are hers and that if there is a function …

Boundaries 
A common theme running through these stories is that we feel pulled in so many directions by so many people that we can't even think straight. I don't …

30 Year Old Single Caring for 80 Year Old Father with Alzheimer's and 60 Year Old Mother with Schizophrenia 
It's too much to share here. But my dad has since passed and I miss him fondly. He had Alzheimer's, but he was charming and helped me to care for him. …

TIME....Nobody Has Any 
My mom has only so much time left on earth. I have only so much time to take care of her needs, to take care of my needs. She demands my time, not wanting …

I'm a 25 Year Old Caregiver of My 81 Year Old Father  
My wife and I have two children both under age two and are the primary care givers of my 81 year old father with dementia. When my parents got married …

Niece in Trouble 
My 89-year-old aunt is suffering from dementia. In December of 2010 I was given a referral for her to have a neurological evaluation. I made the appointment, …

Out Of Sight Out Of Mind 
I think my father is dying. I've thought this before and he is still here, but as he gets older the probability of this happening increases. I am on …

Siblings Just Don't Get It 
For the past four years my Mom 's health has declined with Alzheimer's. She has five children, of which two live in the same city as her and one is about …

Mother's Healthcare 
I must admit that I thought our situation was frustrating till I read about family members who do not communicate or get along. I can't imagine a family …

Granddaughter, not Resenting, Exactly...well, Here's My Story 
Okay, so I need a lot of time to read everything here. But I liked titles of 2 posts, granddaughter "Not resenting". Here's my story: My grandmother, …

Freedom 
I'm a 25 year old single mother that has been the personal driver, cook, housekeeper, errand girl, secretary and therapist for my 76 & 78 year old grandparents …

Update. 
Today is my birthday and I'm feeling depressed. I've told the readers of this forum a lot about my mother and myself by extension. As I've stated, about …

Why me? 
Am so glad that I stumbled onto this site....where shall I begin?? There are three siblings; an adult male unmarried 60 years old who lives in town; the …

My Mom is Putting us Through the Ringer  
My mom has always been abusive and she beat us kids and made us her slaves then when we moved out, she has now started abusing my Dad. She is 70 and Dad …

I'm the Granddaughter... 
My grandfather is 86, has COPD and complications from diabetes & other ailments. His health has been declining for the past 8 months or so. He is still …

Going Blind 
Last night I had a dream. I was with my mom shopping and she was following me very closely around the store. So close, it was comical. I would take a …

A Friend is Making me Feel Guilty. 
I don't know if this is the right place for me, as my problem is an elderly friend rather than a parent. (I was sole carer for my parents till they passed …

Update on Mother's Care 
Hi, it's been a while since I've updated on what's going on with my mom. I am happy to report that she is now in long term care and doing well. She's …

Mother-In-Stress....For Son-In-Law 
For the past 2 years my mother in law is living with us....3 months with us and then with the other daughter, about 6 months out of the year. My wife …

A Mother can Take Care of 100 Children, but 100 Children Can't take Care of one Mother! 
My mother moved into my home In January 2011. When seeing her changing condition I felt she can no longer take care of herself. Although my brother lived …

Youngest Caregiver with the Most Responsibilities 
My father is in the Hospital and is dying of Cancer. My Mother has early stages of dementia. We live 14 miles from my parents house and 95 miles from …

It's about Love.... 
Nobody owes anything, it's just a matter of love. If you had the good luck of having good, loving parents, you probably turned out to be a good, loving …

Old Age is Just Misery 
Old age seems to be a miserable condition, there is no cure just a deterioration of your body and soul, people say that they want to live to be a 100 yet …

Click here to write your own.

Love Does Not Mean 'Debt'. 
I've read just about every post on this entire forum. I've posted what I have been going through. As a PARENT I would never put my kids through what …

Wife of a Caregiver to his Elderly Mom 
We sold our home and moved in with my mother-in-law to help her out, as her husband had died several years earlier, she was having some serious health …

I Moved 2500 Miles Away, and Now my Mother Lives with Me! 
My mother has always been "difficult". She is a histrionic personality - everything has always had to be about her and her wants. From the time I was …

Only Child with Two 88 year Old Parents Living with Me 
After my divorce I invited my parents to live with me and my two kids, who are now both grown and out of the house. It has been five years since my divorce, …

Built Her A Granny Flat, Now We Want Her OUT! 
In 2009, my husband and I went to a great deal of expense to add a secondary dwelling unit to our home. The idea was that his mother, now 83, could live …

My Mother in Law is Very Demanding 
Four years ago, my sister in law and her husband divorced and she moved to a different city (about 45 minutes)away. At that time, she took it upon herself …

Not Resentment, So Much.. 
My situation is that I'm a single woman, middle-aged with no children, never married. I live with my 83 year old father who has Multiple Sclerosis in his …

Going mad! 
When my dad passed away 17 years ago, we moved my mom into a granny flat on our farm. I always walked on egg shells around my mom and always tried to …

25 year old Married Man with Newborn taking Care of Grandfather. 
My grandfather lives on 200 acres on a farm in the country, which sounds nice, but is a great deal of work. After I got out of the marines, and before …

Feeling Unappreciated 
I have given up 2 years of my life. I have closed my business to stay in the same town as my parents and have been living with my partner up until the …

D 
My anger, resentment, whatever you want to label it comes from the fact that I've been there for Mom and Step-Dad for over 10 years. I have a good recollection …

Am the Daughter-in-Law who's Expected to Take Care of my Husband's Old and Dependent Parents 
I come from a culture where elderly parents live with their son and daughter-in-law and are looked after by them. Also, my husband did make it clear that …

Tired of Pollyanna 
One thing that really irritates me is hearing from others that, no matter how much of a sacrifice this is now, I'll never regret "doing the right thing" …

Help, Cannot Stand it Any More  
I have really enough i can 't take it any more ! I have written to u before , but my mother is 88 in 5 days but she is always difficult and wants to …

Dealing with my Sister Concerning my Mom's Care 
There are a lot of things that enter into play with this situation. My sister is the oldest and has been retired for the past 5 years. She lives 70 miles …

Maternal Cousins & Half Siblings 
I am my mom's only child. My mom's sister died last December 30th and as I was handling her estate my mother had a stroke in May, and CHF in October. …

Caring Mother with Selfish Adult Children 
I was a protective loving Mother. I raised two children on my own. Both are hardworking and professional adult children. I have a son and a daughter …

Abandoned by Brother left Caring for 88 year old Parent 
I have an 88 year old parent that lives with me and my wife and two kids. I have had sole care of my dad for 10 years......my mother passed away 10 years …

Confused? 
My siblings convinced my mother to go to an independent living facility without my, the nurse in the families, input. Although they left all the moving …

The Single and Only Daughter 
My father died seven years ago and my mother is currently living alone in our family home. She's 84 years old. She is very capable of taking care of herself, …

My Health is a Priority 
I have posted several times on here and I read other people's posts/comments at least a couple of times a week. As a recent poster noted, her life is totally …

Single and Taking Care of 88 year old Father 
My father has never liked me as I was growing up. I am 50 and I moved home to go back to college when I was in my late 30's. My Mom was alive then. My …

And your Life is so Much More Important than Mine, "Mother Dearest"? 
Not much besides the fact that I have been my aged mother's complete and total emotional and physical hostage for two years now. I am told I will not ever …

Unemployed Caretaker 
My father is 85 and in pretty good shape. His sight is not that great, he no longer drives and needs help. I became unemployed 2 years ago and then my …

I am Mother 2 Everyone 
Going crazy in Chicago. My 76 year old dad refused to stay in nursing home which believe me he needs however, seems to use a guilt trip on me. I work …

Click here to write your own.

Holidays 
I am very resentful towards my sister. Because I don't work and live closer to our mother, I do most of the trips to the doctor and taking our mother …

No Boomer but Still Caregiver to Mother 
I am not a baby boomer, but I am caring for an elderly parent. My mom had us in her forties, so I am facing things that none of my friends are, which makes …

Apache 
Am taking care of elderly mother with dementia. Sister has cancer and has been through several chemotherapy treatments and I don't feel like I can ask …

Caregiver of Mother 
I choose to keep my mom at home even though she is eligible for nursing home care. I was a CNA for 25 years at various homes and I feel better about keeping …

Messy Life 
When we decided to take care of my parents I was married and had my husbands support. Now he is gone due to having an affair and I am left doing this …

Sick Of It 
Siblings? What siblings? I'm a single, child free, only-child so it's ALL on ME. There is no other family around. Darn right I'm angry. And …

Me 
Grandfather is an alcoholic (no drink since May), narcissistic and always has been. He was abusive to both mother and grandmother physically and mostly …

When does MY life start? 
Even writing that subject line makes me feel like a terrible person. I'm just so tired of every aspect of my life being arranged around my 78-year-old …

Being The Oldest Doesn't Mean Bearing Sole Responsibility 
I am the older of two siblings, by about a year. I am an overachiever while my sister is an underachiever. We both live in the same state as my parents, …

Burnt Out 
I am 34 years old, a single mother and I work full time. My grandmother died 4 days after my daughter was born. I moved in with my 89 year old grandfather …

No, God is NOT there to Help Us...!!!!!!! 
Cripes it pesters me to no end to hear all that namby pamby bull about God. There is no God, Okay!!! Go look up Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot and then get …

Jill Ward 
She's all mine - my sister and brother want nothing to do with helping her in her care. It's all my responsibility. My 92 yr old Mother and I have …

Just Venting..... 
Hi.... Everyone in overwhelmed land, Today, I just need to vent anonymously to relieve some pressure on myself. Truly, I do not want to help take care …

Stressed Out 
My mom is joined to my hip. I cannot go out of the room she is looking for me. She has to constantly interact with me....even if I am on the computer …

I have Taken Carers Leave and now am Anxious all the Time  
I am terrified I won't be able to cope without a decent income. I have taken carers leave but when that runs out I will have to give up my job completely. …

Exhausted and Fed Up 
I am 47, and moved back home to help my mom when my father was dying of cancer and had dementia. We eventually put dad in a good nursing home where he …

Mother-in-Law 
I'm not sure where to begin. My mother-in-law or as I should say soon to be mother-in-law is one of the hardest people I have ever had to deal with in …

Miserable 
I am 37 year old single mother of a 9 and 14 year old. I moved in with my dad 5 years ago after my mother passed away (to help him out). He was diagnosed …

Wife is Fed up with Husband and so is his 2 Grown Children. 
My husband has been seeing after is bedridden mother in the nursing home by himself... she has two capable daughters that do nothing and could care less …

Caring for a Young Family and Grandparents Alone. 
I am 31, have two very active boys, a husband and 2 grandparents that I have been caring for a couple of years now. My grandparents got into a serious …

At a Loss 
I have moved to my mothers house. We are both on social security, she gets more than me. One reason was to help her out. I pay for my share of utilities …

Tortured by Siblings 
My sisters are torturing me. I'm trying to care for my 80 yr old father who has dementia/Alzheimer's. My 50-something year old sister lives with/off him …

41yr Old Daughter/Care-Provider-Glad to find This Site! 
I am 41yrs OLD, I emphasize the "old" because caring for/about my mother has made my life a ball of stress and I am feeling nearly suicidal. My mother …

Is God Testing Me....Hope I Pass 
My 78 yr. old mother has LBD. She is now the child and I the parent. She had been diagnosed in 2007 w/ depression & dementia, but I knew it was something …

Frustrated and Wanting to Leave... 
My parents were not in the best of health growing up and my dad had 5 strokes during my late teens and through my twenties. My mom had two strokes six …

Click here to write your own.

Selfish Brother and Sister in Law 
My dad is frail and can't do much for himself, he broke his hip around 10 years ago. I don't resent helping my dad but I do resent my sister in law being …

Becky 
I am so glad I read this site because everything I feel is written here. I have been a caregiver for my mother-n-law for the past 11 years. Recently her …

I live in a Glass Tube 
I don't want pity. I need support. I feel like I am in a glass tube. I am screaming to the top of my lungs for help, and no one hears me. I am pounding …

31 Years Old, About to Move 59 Year Old Bi-Polar in with Me, any Advice? 
My mom has had a long, and difficult life. She raised me by herself by choice, away from her extended family,(that I think might have been the source of …

To Close to See 
For the last 2 years I have cared for my mom. For most of it she has been angry and demanding. It has been very stressful. I have been to close to …

Caregiver from a Distance 
I only live 8 miles from Mom, but that means 16 miles per frequent visit. She can't drive so I take her everywhere she needs to go -- hair salon, church, …

Gender Differences in Carers 
35-year-old eldest & only daughter here, with two younger brothers. All single. I'm unemployed, which means the day-to-day care-taking of our 78-year-old …

JB 
I am 30 and married with no children. Over two years ago, my dad, 59 at the time, suffered a stroke. My brother and I found him when he wouldn't return …

Daughter - Caregiver 
I live a block away from my father. I have 2 brothers that do not (nor will) help take care of my 83 year old father. Dad has a lot of health issues …

Whiney Mother in Law 
My husband gives his 65 yr old mother baths and changes her urine pads....I am not comfortable being around him or her anymore...it disgusts me....also …

Misery Lives Here 
I found this website quite by chance, and guess what? This tragedy happens in England too..... Many years ago, I agreed to share a house with my mum …

At My Wits End!! 
Basically, my mother passed away 2 years ago from bowel cancer. She was ill for 6 months. During this time my father would ring me day and night blaming …

Really Getting Depressed and Resentful 
My father had two strokes and now has some cognitive and motor deficits. I work and pay somebody to sit with him during the day and when I come home it's …

Dad Just Died and Sibling Attacks 
I am the youngest of four children. My mother is 86 and unhappy with the healthcare decisions that my brother helped her make for my dad. My mother believes …

Left Alone with Mama 
I am a fifty four year old man who is disabled due to severe clinical depression, an injured neck and back and little money I have a sister who is four …

Leaving Mom Alone 
Mom is 94 and has congestive heart failure. She is unable to get out of bed alone. However, she is able to ambulate using walker. Needs assistance with …

Mother-in-Law 55 with Dementia 
It's awful.Going on three years..We live in her house..she took an eight year vacation after her husband passed away in his forties..She slept all day. …

Doreen 
In November 2009 mom was declared terminally ill with cancer, and was given 5-6 months to live. My oldest brother and his wife wanted to take her into …

We are All Living too Long 
This will probably upset a lot of people but I need to get it out. People are just living too long. Our society spends the majority of health funds on …

Lose, Lose Situation...Ongoing Resentment 
My lose, lose, situation: I am 44-years-old; an only and adopted child; happily married with no children...However, my 82-year-old adoptive mother lives …

She was Harsh and Cruel, Now She is Dependent 
My parents were harsh, controlling, and often violently cruel when I lived in their home. I worked very hard to get away from them, finally escaping when …

Stress???... Oh, Yes!!!... 
I am one the only girl out of 3 children and the only one doing anything. My younger brother passed a couple years ago and my older one hasn't spoken with …

Dont Know What to Do... 
Well, here it is, you want me to write about my situation, then so be it. I am 31year old female, married, no children, but lots of animals. My dad is …

Why is it Always Me She Turns on and Never Siblings? 
My mom is now 83. I am 60. For the past 15 years I have been her main caregiver because I live closest. My husband works 6 days a week and on his only …

Help Me Help Mom so I Can Help Me. 
Mom has become violent and has begun to frighten me with some things she has begun to say.. I had a spinal fusion some years back and find that after work …

Click here to write your own.

Concerns about Caretakers Manipilating an Elderly Person in their Own Home 
Okay My father is 86 years old he has some what his mind still. He pays his bills on time, he knows how to write checks. First of all I am a caregiver …

I am Tired of Being Exploited 
Five years ago, my younger sister suffered a massive brain hemorrhage caused by an AVM. As a results she is totally handicapped and my parents have taken …

Abused Child is now Abused Caregiver 
I am an only child caring for my 57-year-old mom who suffers from chronic pain, arthritis, and various mental illnesses. I have to monitor her constantly …

Overwhelmed and Pregnant Caregiver 
I have been caring for my 64 year old father who has severe or end stage COPD since the end of 2008 when my mother passed away. I was 20 years old. …

Frustration And Tears 
I am 23 years old and I am caring for my 78 year old grandfather who is suffering from severe stage COPD. He can still talk but he can only stand up and …

I am Becoming an Abusive Caregiver  
It's happening. I am becoming an abusive caregiver. What started as just fantasies of yelling at my mom, progressed into pretend yelling at her in my pillow …

Caroline 
I live with my mum who is 79 - I am an only child. My father passed away when he was 55. My mother is not bedridden or infirm etc., just plain demanding, …

So Tired 
A year ago my husband became partially disabled. Also, at that time we became guardian to our 14 year old grandson. Also, we moved my mother to an assisted …

Anxiety 
Our 90 year old mother is in the hospital right now and my two brothers visit her regularly. My anxiety is upon her release when she returns to assisted …

Exhausted..... 
I am trying not be angry or resentful, but it is not working. I am the oldest of 4 children, and took a leave from my job to care for my dad when he was …

Siblings Attacking Me - the Caregiver 
My husband and I have lived with my parents for almost 12 years. My father has Dementia/Alzheimer's in addition to various other health problems. My …

Only Child 
I am an only daughter taking care of my elderly mother. She can only afford adult day care one day a week. She has not started yet and is not sure she …

Burnt out Caregiver of Elderly Parents 
I am a 43 year old well educated single woman who has been a "caregiver" for elderly parents. Three years ago, my mother had a heart attack. I have …

Elizabeth 
My elderly Father and Mother have recently been moved near to me so I can look after them better. I am their main carer. My dad is now driving me to …

Outside Help is not always an Option 
I would like to remind people who post on here that getting outside help is not always an option. It might be an option for people with confused parents …

Totally Overwhelmed with Little Control 
I'm a 39 year old woman who has put my life on hold for my parents who live in Florida (I live in Chicago). I have one brother three years older than me …

I Feel Like I am Being Mentally Tortured 
My widowed father, now 82 years old, was very active until 1 month ago when he fell from his porch onto his head. He has required 24/7 care since …

Feeling Overwhelmed, taken for Granted,and Walking on Egg Shells. 
I have been taking care of my mom and dad (step)for about two or three years now. My mom is the easy one to deal with, but my dad is the one I have the …

Confused and Hurt Sibling 
I am one of four living siblings . My mother has been in and out of the therapy unit and now is having issues with dementia as well. She has her own …

Elderly Neighbor 
I've already done my parent care giving - I took care of my mother 12 years ago when she was terminally ill and on home hospice (her home). Now I have …

When does it End? 
My husband has been the primary caregiver of his disabled brother, his mother, and, now, his father for 27 years! We both work full-time, have two kids, …

it's better to be me than anyone els. 
My father's kidneys have shut down completely, he is undergoing dialysis now since 10 days ago… I find peace when I take care of him....being his only …

Feeling neglected. 
I am the youngest by seven years of two boys. When my father passed 21 yes ago my brother did not think it a priority to visit our dying dad on his sick …

Resentment no, Disappointment yes! 
Considering the mom has lived with my husband and I for about 15yrs after selling her house. The usual Doctor's appointments, healthcare decisions along …

My Brother Doesn't Get It 
I am a 52 year old married mother of 2 - ages 21 and 25. My mother will be 80 in Dec. 2011 and she has vascular dementia due to a stroke plus she has …

Click here to write your own.

Clueless and Annoying Coworkers 
One of my biggest challenges is clueless and annoying coworkers who always ask me clueless questions like, "What did you do over the weekend?", "Are you …

I have more Resentment and Anger... 
My mom had a stroke the day after Thanksgiving 2010. I was out of town at the time and rushed home. On the plane ride home, all these thoughts entered …

Teenage Mom to Mom 
I am sixteen years old and my mommy who is 50 years old has just recovered from Meningitis (The bacterial). By recovered I mean that she can talk but that …

Too Young to Have no Life! 
Both my parents are in their early 70's , I am an only child married with no children and do not work due to post traumatic stress. I live about 5 minutes …

Daughter-in-Law 
My mother-in-law and I have always had a strained relationship because I 'stole' her only son 37 years ago. She is a very selfish woman and never really …

"Raising" my Mother-In-Law - Do I Hate her Now? 
One year ago my Father In Law became terminally ill. Both parents were already struggling with their health and sustaining, although we weren't aware of …

I have 2 Brothers and I was "Chosen" to be the Caregiver for Both my Parents... 
I don't even know where to begin.....Hopefully, I can do this without turning this into a full novel. I will try to explain my situation, going over main …

Beware of the Naysayers 
Beware of the naysayers--particularly those on this board--who try to tell you that your parent is a burden and you should just throw them in a facility …

Tired of Uninvolved Sibling's Yuppie Mentality 
I agree with the woman who said all she sees is her sibling's back or hears, "Put her in a home". That is what I'm dealing with in my own family with …

Everything I do is Wrong 
In caring for my elderly parents, I have done everything I can to make them happy and comfortable. They have had many health issues and often I am …

On the Contrary, My Mom is an Angel 
I have read the stories and posted my own comments,the only difference is that my Mom is an angel. She's my best friend! The part that's killing me is …

Heck Yes I am Angry 
I would say at an earlier time I was disappointed in the lack of support I get from my siblings. I am angry now. Their lack of support after me telling …

Eldest Daughter with 4 Siblings 
Mom and dad moved close by around 7 years ago. Prior to that they left my childhood home where they raised myself and 4 siblings. They moved to Florida, …

My Mom is Driving Me up a Wall. 
Our immediate family is small, just my younger sister(58 yrs. old), myself (70), and my 72 yr. old husband. I had to take Mom as my sister took a job …

Heaven or Hell 
People constantly tell us we are blessed for being the chosen ones to care for our parents and our reward will be with God, and yet we feel as though we …

Emotional Mugging 
I am a caregiver to my elder mom who is now 96. I am the only child, after my sister died 5 years ago, suddenly. She and I were a team and took care of …

Where is the Bright Side? 
I can't believe I am living this life. I thought because my mother was so loving and giving to everyone else, but me. They would be willing to be there …

The Only One 
I am an only child, and a single other of 1 child. I do not resent being Mother's caregiver, I resent the resentment and anger coming from my mother. …

I Love My Parents with Every Part of Myself.... 
I have 3 older siblings, 2 sisters & 1 brother. They're 14, 12 & 10 years older than I. My oldest sister lives about 30-40 minutes away from my parents …

Sibling Brother does not Help 
I am the oldest child, I am not a high income wage earner, but my brother, who lives in another state is the president of a large insurance company. …

Confused --Please Explain this Bizarre Behaviour ! 
I am a woman aged 54. There is a widow aged about 68 in my apartment complex. She is obviously lonely and does not keep good relations with her married …

Hating Life 
I do not want to take care of my "Mom" anymore!!! She refuses to let me have a life of my own anymore. Tried getting a part-time job to get out of …

Youngest Daughter, closest geographically 
My 86 year old mother recently moved to be nearer to me due to Alzheimer/dementia. I am 41 years old and have two older sisters (both retired, living …

Ageism in Society Hurts 
My complaint is that our society is ageist and doesn't respect or appreciate the elderly. Whenever someone hears that I am time challenged because …

NEVER GO HOME AFTER LEAVING 
I sold my house because of neighbor problems, moved in with my widowed father and because of the housing market and the economy, I am stuck here. I …

Click here to write your own.

Guardianship Abuse - Hijacking the freedom and exploiting the finances of the elderly 
Two of my sisters forced my mother's case into probate 9 years ago. Looks like they were motivated to get as much as they can from my mother's estate (my …

Who am I anymore??? 
I posted this as a comment on another thread but am re-posting as a new one in hopes maybe someone can offer me constructive advice... I'm an only …

Brother who "Critizes Me"  
We are a family of 5 children 3 boys and 2 girls.All adults now! I am the 2nd oldest , in my early 60's now. My eldest brother, who is by himself , does …

Eldest Brother is the Self Proclaimed "Leader" 
I'm the youngest in a large family and my eldest brother has for many years taken it upon himself to organize everything for my elderly parents. He …

I'm to Young to Do This. 
I have never told anyone my story. I have never wanted to in fear of judgment, but I ran into this site, and I figure well, no one will know who I am, …

Not Alone on the Net 
I have been apart of this website for a short time now and so much appreciate hearing from you all out there. I feel so much less alone in caring for an …

Caretaking Sister of Parents Shut Out Siblings 
Our mother just passed away recently with the worst case of breast cancer ever. My sister was hiding that my mother was sick. We knew something wasn't …

Dealing with Those who Don't Care in my Family 
There are four adult children. One of my brothers had an argument with my father shortly after mom died over some possessions of dads' that he wanted. …

Feeling very Overwhelmed and Guilty to feel the Way I do 
Not sure why I'm writing this to others who are in the same boat as I am but any rate. I do feel guilty to feel angry of the way I feel for someone who …

Elderly Caregiver - Burned out! 
Been care giving to both my parents now 5 years...dad finally passed in February, mom is now bedridden and completely helpless. I work full time and try …

Sole Caregiver Daughter 
I am on SSI, college grad (BA in Exercise Science), currently primary caregiver to an 82 year old mother. We share a home that my older brother owns and …

Young but Old 
Will typing this out help me feel better? Let's try..... I am 32, my Grandparents brought me up because my mother had a mental illness and couldn't. …

Nobody asked Me if She could Live with Us. 
Everyone just assumed that I would take on the job of caregiver to my 81 year old mother-in-law. I feel like some of us are just not meant to be caregivers. …

Depressed at Christmas 
It is a week before Christmas and I am resentful and depressed. I am 49 years old and caught in a web of care taking for my 2 children, my husband and …

I'm Getting Tired. 
In April, my father died from cancer. I took care of him for several weeks. He and my mother were married for 50 years. Before he died, I was finally …

Dealing with Resentment 
I take care of my 97 year old father(he lives with me)and has for years now. I deal with many of the same problems that involve taking care of an elderly …

I Feel so Alone Caring for my Elderly Mother 
I also take care of my mother, I am the youngest of four. I have three older brothers and I don't get any help from them. At one point I did ask the oldest …

How can They do This? 
We have spent every Thanksgiving with my wife's parents, even when we lived far away, so they wouldn't be alone. My wife's brother and his family have …

The Chosen One 
My Mom always said she wanted to move in with me when and if she wound up alone in her old age. Well about eight years ago she did, wind up alone. …

Heartbroke 
I am caring for my 62 year old mother with emphysema who has given up on life. She stays in bed for the majority of the day; getting up to take a shower …

No Emotional Help / Caregiver Program? 
I have begged for phone calls from siblings . They seem to think that once every few months is fine. I / we are here out in the middle of the woods in …

Primary Carer Getting Little 
I have been the main person to visit and see to my elderly parents when they are ill.I have 4 sisters, 3 of which live a 1 hour flight away and are on …

My Sacrifice to Care for My Parents 
Dear Listeners, I was working as a part timer for Kohl's when my divorce occurred and the return home to deal with my mom's terminal liver cancer and …

Oldest Sister Dodges Responsibility 
My oldest sister who is a teacher and lives within driving distance to my very elderly mother does as little as possible to help. She has the most time …

Family Conflict Over Caregiving 
Hello, I live next door to my mother--we have never gotten along our entire lives. She is very cruel --cruel even til this day, yet outsiders have no …

Click here to write your own.

Is This Enough? 
I live 86 miles from my elderly mother. I have 2 sisters living near her and 1 living in England. My older sister does most of the visiting and care and …

Struggling with Feelings 
Caring for my mother is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I have been taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's for the past 6-7 years. …

No One in my Family Helps and Because of This They Try to Judge Me and Slander Me 
My brothers asked me to take the role of caring for my mom 83 after my bipolar sister pounded on her window causing her fall, and has since also continued …

Greedy Sister Wants it All 
My mother does not have a will, my sister, who is an attorney, tried to pressure her into leaving her estate to her grandchildren (my sisters children.) …

My Brother keeps asking Husband to do Things 
My mum went into a care home.. And my brother asked my husband for some bit to be done around my mums house. So I said yes... He can install a new bathroom. …

Daughter of Elderly Mother and Step Father 
I'll try and be as brief as possible. I'm the only caregiver for my mother (78) who is biopolar, schiz, manic, depressed and dementia. I've tried …

Lack of Support from Society is Disheartening 
I personally find the lack of support from society disheartening. The fact that I'm trying to help my elderly parent means nothing to people. Generally …

Misunderstood 
My resentment and profound sadness comes from the time just after my father died. I had just been hit by several huge life events and whilst still reeling …

Resentful for Caring for Elderly Mother 
I have been the primary care giver for my 94 yr old mother for the past 5 years. She broke her hip, had replacement, went through rehab and therapy and …

Mom is making our lives miserable. 
My 89 year old mother has mild dementia and arthritis and lives in an assisted living facility. She had me later in life, so I am only 45 and have two …

Dad is completely selfish 
I am an only child aged 54 and have been looking after my 91 year old dad for past 10 years. My husband is very accommodating. My problem is that my …

Selfish Brother 
I am a nearly 50 year old married woman who lives in a mother /daughter home with a very controlling and active 75 year old mother. I have a 55 year old …

FED UP, NOT ANSWERING THE CALL 
I have dealt with her problems nonstop for years. Calls and recriminations, paranoia, and demands, verbal assaults, somehow her bad decisions are my fault? …

Daughter (69) Only one to care for 97 year dementia mother. I can't do this anymore. 
My 97 year old mother is in a wheelchair (one leg), has stage one dementia, hallucinates & is paranoid (occasionally.) She never goes out, I have to argue …

Dealing with the Memory Loss of Aging Parent 
I do not resent being the only one (out of 4 children) who is doing everything for my father. I made peace with it a long time ago. I have now lost my …

Eldest daughter caring for mom and dad 
Six months ago I moved my mom and dad to Colorado to be closer to family. Namely me and my brother. Mom has late stage Parkinson's and dementia and had …

Eldest daughter caring for mom and dad 
Six months ago I moved my mom and dad to Colorado to be closer to family. Namely me and my brother. Mom has late stage Parkinson's and dementia and had …

Caring for Mom 
I have cared for my mother in her home for over 8 years. I work full time. I am a single man, not married. My sibling lives next door, his family lives …

Mother will not do Activities on Her Own Therefore Smothers/needs Me 
Mom is 83 and lives in an Active Retirement community. They have planned activities. There is also a Senior Center with activities. She will not participate …

Tired 
1. I do not resent my "chosen one" status. It beats being told to "get lost". Like the results or not, it represents a vote of confidence in my character …

Angry at the Selfish People in our Society 
I am just unbelievably angry at the selfish people in our society who have no compassion for the elderly and constantly want to pound home their schtick …

Helping as much as I can, but my sister wants more... 
My mother has had cancer about ten years, and it has slowly progressed to the point that she is bedridden. My father took great care of Mom, but looking …

The family that takes and never gives. 
Me and my older sister were raised by a single Mother who has a personality disorder and who had little maternal feeling for especially me and she neglected …

How I Cope 
I have been care giving for almost 6 years with no help from a sibling. I have come to find peace after a long period of resentment and anger (although …

Elder Care Anger - 50/50 ? 
I have been taking care of my elderly disabled father and I have lived in his home and quit my job so I can care for him for the last 13 years. My sister …

Click here to write your own.

Elder Care - Sibling gets Better Treatment but Doesn't do Anything 
I battle a lot of anger and resentment because I do everything for my mother yet am not treated very well. My mother treats my sister much better despite …

Elder Care - Shut Out of Family 
I am oldest sibling but live 1000 miles from home town. My parents barely acknowledge me and my family because of the distance, and my siblings have excluded …

Elder Care - Problem is not Parent but Sibiling 
I previously posted on here about my care giving of an elderly parent and having no help from my sister. I did get a few responses, which I appreciate, …

Elder Care - Caring for Declining Parent with no Help 
I am a single never married woman in her 50's who has been taking care of my elderly mother for almost 15 years. After my father passed away I began …

Elder Care Anger - Elderly Mother-In-Law is Stressing my Marriage 
My Mother-In-Law has lived with me and my wife all 13 years of our marriage..... we are relatively young 33 and 34 and she is 67 her body is starting to …

Elder Care Anger - I don't want to do this anymore... But I love my mom so much! 
My mom (90) has lived with me (50) and my family for 6 months each year for 15 years then a 1 1/2 years ago she moved in for good. She had to. She was …

Primary Caregiver For My Elderly Mother 
I am the primary caregiver of my elderly Mother. I have an older brother and a younger sister and my sister moved to another town after marriage about …

Elder Care - Rights and Responsibility 
My 76-year-old mother is a widow who lives alone in a large home on a large piece of property. She has two daughters: the eldest with whom she has been …

Elder Care - Brother and Sister-in-Law are Users... 
My brother Billy (42) and sister-in-law Sarah (38)constantly ask Mom - 75 extremely frail, who lives with me - for lots of financial help. They bought …

Dad 87 3rd year in Long Term Care, Late stages of Parkinson, problems Swallowing and Memory Loss. 
9 Siblings that all live close by but with only two, sometime three that care mostly for him 24/7. Second to the oldest sister moved in to his home. …

Elder Care Anger - Husband's Siblings are Selfish Jerks 
Hello, My husband lives in California and have been caring for his elderly mother for the past 12 years. She lives in our home. She has a home in Maine, …

Elder Care - Sister Taking Advantage of Mom. 
My situation is different, but I don't know whom to turn to. I have 2 older sisters. My mom has recently been put into a Nursing home. Our father …

Elder Care Anger - It's My Problem Now 
After living away from my family for 17 years I was convinced by my brother that my mothers living situation was in such horrible state that I needed to …

Elder Caregiving - Siblings do Little or Nothing 
My wife's father moved in with our family over 10 years ago when her mother suffered a severe stroke and had to be confined in a nursing home. Since …

Elder Caregiving - Yes I do Resent it !! 
I am 45, my parents were divorced when I was 10, older brother who is 11 years older than me. I have gotten to live away from home 5 yrs total, due to …

Elderly Father in Law is Demanding ... 
First of all..I knew my husband was the caregiver for his parents when I first met him, I thought how wonderful and compassionate of him. Nine years …

Elder Care Anger - Only Right Choice 
Elder Care Anger - Only Right Choice I am a 50 year old military contractor who works in Afghanistan and Iraq. Last January while deployed outside …

Elder Care Anger - Sadness is Setting In 
I have been here at this web site before and was able to relieve some stress because I was so angry at my sisters who have made this whole process so difficult. …

Elder Care Anger and Resentment - Only Child 
I have no brothers or sisters to help me care for my elderly mother. My husband will help, but he will only do what I ask him to do. I still have to …

Elder Care - Anger and Resentment - Help. And good advice wanted 
My mum is 82 and has serious health problems. I have three brothers who live local to my mum and all have cars money and their own homes all bought. …

Elder Care Anger and Resentment - Does Anyone Else Feel Taken? 
Does anyone else feel taken advantage? It's as though my mother expects me to foot the bill for everything. I am fed up. She has an income, a decent …

Elder Care Anger and Resentment - Yes my brothers don't care 
I have burnout. I've given 10 years of my life to a mom with cancer and a dad with Parkinson's. My two older brothers do nothing to help.

Elder Care Downsize & Move, Financially Manipulative Elderly Parent Mother 
I recently moved my Mother out of a 5500 sq ft house. It was packed to the rafters. Downsizing took my husband, daughter and two hired ladies two+ weeks …

Is my Elderly Parent from the Exorcist? 
Why me? Should not be the question rather wow! It's me! God chose me to bare the burden of caregiver for my 88 year old mother, while my lazy sister …

Elder Caregiver - I have Anger and a Lot of Resentment of Siblings 
I have read and printed a lot of the material on your website. So much of it hits home with me. I moved in with my elderly father 16+ years ago after …

Click here to write your own.

Care Giving for Elderly Parents You were Never Close With 
I was never close to my parents. I come from an alcoholic home and got involved in a very toxic relationship in a subconscious effort, at a young age, …

Caregiver Stress - If I could do it over 
If I could do it over, I would still be mom's caregiver, but do many things different. The first thing I would have done different is I would …

Brothers Never Plan to Help with Elderly Parents...  
I have two older brothers who have pretty much abandoned MOM and DAD for the last 35 years to be missionaries. I am fortunate to have lovely, dear, …

Teresa - Anger and Resentment about Siblings not Helping with Care of Mother 
Someone tell me why the responsibility of caring for an elderly parent is always left to one or two of the siblings. My Mother came to live with me …

Caregiver Stress - I Cannot Do It All! 
I am the youngest of five children. I am also married and have a demanding career as an alternative education teacher. My entire existence right …

"Just Need to Vent" 
I am so angry that I desperately need to vent and get these negative feelings off my chest so I might get some relief. I hate both my living sisters. …

Elderly Parent Mother - My Brothers are Self Centered Jerks 
I might as well be an only child. I am the youngest and the only girl taking care of my elderly parent. I have had to provide everything - finding a …

Elderly Parent Sibling #4 
Following the emptying of their nest and their respective retirements, my parents, both children of the Depression and, in our father's case, a combat …

Dealing with Anger from the Elderly Parent 
Anger and Resentment in an Elderly Parent I have 3 sisters - two close by who have stated they do not want to help take care of our elderly father and …

Brothers of my Elderly Parent 
My mother is in her late 80's and should not be living by herself. I had successfully enrolled her in an independent living situation but when my brother …

Elder Care Anger and Resentment - Deadbeat Siblings 
My father died of colon cancer in 1995 leaving behind my 73 year old mother who was totally dependent on him. It is 2009 and my mother is …

I (a working daughter-in-law) became the caregiver of a man who had two non-working daughters 
Caregiver in law Anger and Resentment. My Alzheimer-suffering mother-in-law had already been dumped on me for the weekends while her two daughters looked …

"You're there, she's there, what's the problem?" 
Caregiver Sibling Anger and Resentment I am single and work full-time. Mom lived with me for 10 years and the last 2 years is when she went into her …

Elder Care - Stress and Caring for an Elderly Parent. 
Furious Eldest Daughter There are 4 adult siblings in my family, I am the eldest daughter....I have one older bother, (single), one younger sister (married) …

My brother and his wife do not help 
Taking care of my elderly parents is such a hasell. The guilt alone for thinking these words is a big burden to me. In addition, I am constantly bombarded …

Elder Caretaking Daily Stresses 
Elder Care on a daily basis stresses me out. The unknown of what the needs may be are really taking a toll. From fearing for Dad's safety, falling and …

Emotionally Angry Most of the Time 
I moved in with Mom 4 years ago. I'm 70 now, she's 91. There are times like tonight, that I hate her. Her casual suggestions are meddlesome, demanding, …

Resentful? You bet I am! 
My mother, 91, has been living with me for 10 years. She's in good health, still drives and takes care of her daily needs. Frankly, I wish she would drop …

Tearing Up as I Read and Type 
I'm also dealing with the same problems. I'm the youngest of 4 boys and I've been doing it all on my own since my dad passed away a few years back. …

What do YOU OWE to your parents? 
Dear Caregiver Group: I've sat on the sidelines for too long and simply just read others stories and comments from others but today I'm going to put it …

The Upper Class Attitude 
The original purpose of this board (as I see it) was supposed to be a support for those who take care of their parents and don't get any help from siblings. …

Making the Right Choice. 
Being chosen is your opportunity to become rich 'within'. This is your chance to do the right thing for someone else while you also answer the call to …

Terry 
I am an only child. I have enjoyed traveling with my mom and was planning a second career when I retired. About 4 months before I retired mom got sick …

One Foot Out The Door 
I am just a daughter in law. Was told by my husbands brothers that they want nothing to do with helping us take care of THEIR parents. I am now being …

Caregiving Dad Angry and Resentful 
My mum has terminal cancer and she does complain a lot but my dad has got to the point where he is angry with her all the time and he wants me there constantly. …

Click here to write your own.

Caregiver to 86 Year Old Mom... 
Mom moved in with me and my husband about a year and a 1/2 ago she takes care of her bathing, dressing herself and feeding herself and doesn't complain, …

Dealing with Controlling Mum and the Difficulty to Overcome Anger and Resentment 
I am feeling very stressed out and resentful over my long term unhappiness and anger towards my mother who is a very controlling mother only to me and …

Elder Care - Selfish Brother 
My Mom can barely take care of herself any longer. My brother is 50 years old and never left home. He lives in the apartment downstairs. Now, that …

Caretaking Sister of Parents Shuts out Siblings 
I have been reading articles written by angry caretakers who receive no help from their siblings. But in my situation, that is kind of unusual. I'll …

Resentful, Angry, Guilty, Need it to End 
I am a primary caregiver for my mother who has COPD. She is at the point where she really needs to have someone with her 24 hours a day. I do live …

Daughter to Care Giving Parents 
I need to vent. Maybe I am being selfish but I am so angry. About 5-6 years ago my adorable grandmother moved in with my parents. We were all supportive …

"Chosen One" Feels Entitled 
My mother lives with youngest of three siblings. "Chosen one" has gotten 90 yr old mom to take her savings and buy a new house. Mom and "chosen one's" …

Siblings won't Help Out. 
Several years ago I moved in with my mother to help her out after my dad died. Now my mother is 84 years old and needs more care. She is afraid of …

Married Sibling is off the Hook 
This is my situation: I am single and have no kids. My sibling is married and had children late in life so her kids are very young. She has not helped …

Going Crazy 
My mother passed away 3 years ago and my father (81) was devastated. I moved out of my house (which I rented) and remodeled his basement and moved in …

I am the Baby, the Nurse, and have Done it all for Years!!! I am DONE! 
I am a baby boomer, who has always cared for my elderly parents, because I am the RN in the family. I was a single mother for 16 years, therefore my parents …

Double Whammy 
I am experiencing a double whammy and would like someone in the same boat to give me some support (please, no comments from others who are not in the same …

Dear Princess... 
My 60 year old sister-in-law spent quite a bit of her life with her parents involved. When my mother-in-law passed, my blind father-in-law came here. …

The Oleo Sister 
I have raised my siblings from the time I was twelve then I left and now for the last five years I have tried to be a good daughter but I have disabilities …

Nothing Left Not rated yet
My dad, aged 79 moved in with me and my husband a few months ago. He has later stage Alzheimer's and is a terror. He wasn't the greatest dad, even worse …

Doing the Best I can... Not rated yet
My 91 one year old father told me I was suffocating him with my caregiving. He has poor vision in only one eye and blind in the other, deaf without his …

Cared for a Difficult Elderly Disabled Father Not rated yet
My father became disabled 11 years ago at age 69. In the last 11 years me and mother have looked after him with no respite breaks and in poverty on benefits. …

Unplanned Chosen Angel for Family Care Giving Not rated yet
I think God chose me to help my husband out with his elderly mom moving into a assisted living facility. I could see my husband has no clue how to coordinate …

Plan....R??? Not rated yet
I have no idea what Plan I'm on now. It feels more like what Planet am I on? Preparing for another phase of Mom's life. I thought the last five years of …

Elderly Mother has Terminal Pancreatic Cancer Not rated yet
My elderly mother has terminal pancreatic cancer and my sister and I are nursing her at home as long as we can. My sister lives with my mother and is the …

I Didn't Sign up for This  Not rated yet
I am a slave to my dad, his house and his two old dogs. I have no life anymore, no apartment of my own No privacy, no job, no income and no help. I resent …

Family Turmoil Not rated yet
I am the primary caregiver for my parents. My Mom got sick about 4 years ago, and they wanted to send her to a skilled facility. I spoke with my Dad and …

Communication With Dementia Not rated yet
1. Be patient and supportive. 2. Offer comfort and reassurance.3. Avoid criticizing, correcting, arguing.4. Offer words to help them. This is how a conversation …

Sleep, Repeat .. Not rated yet
My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago. He is 81, my mom is 76 and has been his main carer. I slowly became drawn in as their health started …

Caregiver of Elderly Mother with No Break Not rated yet
I have been the sole carer for my 87 year old Mother for seven years without a break. I shop, wash, clean, sort pills, in fact do everything for her. I …

Click here to write your own.

Hate my Mum for Being Sick Not rated yet
I am feeling true hatred towards my Mum because her body is buggered and she can hardly walk. She has never taken any responsibility for her own health …

No Family Left Not rated yet
My sister Joann passed in September of 2012. Then my sister Joyce passed April of 2014 we were very close she was the oldest I the youngest. Then our Mother …

Life Miseries Not rated yet
After going through all these comments I am 68 years old, married, severely depressed and anxious due family stress living like the disabled having a 61 …

Frivolous Elder Abuse Law Suit Not rated yet
I took two years off work to take care of my wonderful, sweet, beautiful Mom. My fiance' helped me daily. We did all the housework, yard work, grocery …

Caregiver....daughter Not rated yet
I have no help. I promised my Mother I would take care of Dad. I have suffered violence.. And I have no help from one older sister. I have been accused …

Taking care of Mother in Law Not rated yet
My widowed mother-in-law has moved to a nursing home near us. She previously lived in another state, but her second husband passed away and she needed …

Louise Not rated yet
Its been 4 years now, a comment I read was living constant fight or flight,this is me, My dad 93 with Alzheimer's passed last year, I now have my mother …

Wow! Thanks Not rated yet
Wow - just found this site last night in a rage and you nailed it. Me: Daughter, no children, part-time job from home. Thus, its all apparently my job. …

Keeping Mom Alive Not rated yet
Yesterday I spent all day, as I do everyday, working on the framework that keeps Mom alive. She woke up around 10am and came into the kitchen for coffee. …

Look After Yourself! Not rated yet
I have come out the other end of looking after my elderly father who has now passed away. He was a stubborn proud man & it was hard dealing with his personality, …

Single daughter / "spinster" Not rated yet
I had been living in another state for more than two decades when my father had bypass surgery, and my brother called demanding that he did not have time …

Mother Mad at me Because She's Terminal and Someone has got to Pay for it!!! Not rated yet
My Moms a narcissistic lunatic! She has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer and is approaching the final stages of the battle she has been fighting …

On and On Without End? Not rated yet
My grandmother is living in a dementia facility, and has been there for almost a year now. Before this she lived in assisted living for six years, after …

Selfish or Self Respecting? Not rated yet
My grandmother is 88 years old and has been living in a dementia facility for about a year now. I haven't visited her since she was in Assisted Living …

Here's What Happened Today Not rated yet
Mom has macular degeneration. She's been under treatment for 10 years. Eye injections every six weeks. Last month she had a stroke in her occipital lobe …

Thank God For You All Not rated yet
You fellow caregivers are the only ones who understand what I'm going through. When I'm depressed and lonely and there is no one to turn to, I come to …

KL Not rated yet
Hi, Life sucks, then u die...hope I don't live past 75, if I'm stuck living that long...the only countries that honor the old are Italy and Japan so if …

Yes, I am The Chosen One Not rated yet
For me I was always the good child making sure everyone was comfortable and loving every minute of it. I cooked every holiday, yes even Groundhogs Day. …

Exhausted and Broke but Will Still Help my Mother Today and Every Day Not rated yet
Grateful to still have my Mom , but sad that it is such a bummer for her. I can't help but try to provide my mother with some joy in her situation, but …

Trapped and Can't Breath Not rated yet
I am so trapped. My mom had always had mental problems. As a child she blamed me for everything. And called me every name in the book. It's been a …

Thank You to Everyone Here Not rated yet
Reading your issues with aging relatives and the stress y'all feel has made me feel so much better. I now know I'm not the only one living this nightmare. …

Jeckyl and Hyde Not rated yet
My family was subjected to an alcoholic father who brutally beat my mother regularly. We had a special word for when the screaming would break out so …

Feeling Alone and Abused Not rated yet
My mother lived in a different city and was remarried at 70 to a gentleman who had a stroke and dementia 1 year after there marriage. Her first marriage …

I'm Tired Not rated yet
I have a disabled child whom I love dearly. I have always been her caregiver. Would not change that. I have fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis,other related …

Caught in Caring and Guilt Zone Not rated yet
My Mom is 86 years old, short term memory is poor, long term memory is great, lives alone, flew thousands of miles to take care of her. Her pension …

Click here to write your own.

Son is Better than the Daughter Not rated yet
They have been great parents to me, I guess they come to me because my sister in law is too mean. My parents really love their son to a point it just does …

How do We Bring in Outside Help? Not rated yet
My mother has been emotionally abusive to my sister and myself all our lives. I suffer from depression and anxiety and have since I was a child. …

Wife's Daddy is Bleeding my Soul Not rated yet
My wife has expected me to help her look after her 92 year old father, who wants to live in his own home, for the last 4 years. During this time, 'Papa' …

I Knew this Day Would Come but Still Not Ready Not rated yet
I'm 45 and the picture of a sandwich generation. I have 3 kids of my own with the youngest just leaving the nest this year. I find myself frustrated. …

Therapy Will Help You Overcome Your Shame Not rated yet
You aren't feeling guilt, you are feeling shame. The best solution is go to therapy and learn to unleash this shame feeling. I've just made a breakthrough …

Controlling older Sister and Mean abusive Sick Elderly Mother Not rated yet
My Mother is 87 and has been pretty much sick my entire life. She abused me both physically and mentally for as long as I can remember. I have an older …

Overwhelmed  Not rated yet
My mom's spouse passed away in May. I live in California and she is in Vegas. Caregiving crept up on me almost 3 years ago little by little I am in Vegas …

Overwhelmed Not rated yet
I have been a caregiver for over 5 years now. My father had his first stroke 5 years ago. He continued to have them until his passing in March of this …

Feeling Bad about the Situation Not rated yet
My mother is 90 years old, with dementia, she can't do anything by herself. Not even sit down. My dad passed away 7 years ago and at that time my step …

Taking Care of Father in Law Not rated yet
My father in law used to live in India with his other son and would visit us from time to time. Last time he was with us 3 years ago he got very sick, …

Always the Receiver Not rated yet
My husband and I care for my 88 year old mother. One of my brothers helps but the two she think so much of does nothing. When she goes in the hospital …

Tired of It Not rated yet
I am a 54 year old woman, also taking medication to control leukemia, and lucky to be alive. About the same time I find out health information about …

Soft Hearts Not rated yet
I've been blessed to come to a positive place in my caregiving journey, so I'm sharing it, as it's taken me a long time to get here, and I know many of …

They Think I owe her for Taking Care of my Mom When She was in Dementia  Not rated yet
I stay with my 92 year old aunt who has no children. There are several cousins who could be helpful but mostly just stir up mess and drama with my aunt. …

God Bless Us All Not rated yet
You know after reading everyone's posts....there is no golden answer or remedy to feel better, but rather the support of knowing that we are not the only …

My Nasty Brothers Only Care About the Money! Not rated yet
My husband, daughter and myself have been caring for my parents for five years. No one cared about what went on or how my parents were doing. I would …

Dad's Back Problem....He is Driving Me Crazy!!! Not rated yet
Thank you for this site. I see myself and my dad in so many of these posts...helps me to realize that my feelings are normal. I had to move from the …

Male Sibling Cared for Father With No Help from Brother Not rated yet
Okay, well my poor dad is gone now. Before he left this earth some 15 years prior he had two strokes one after the other. When he was in hospital …

Help Advice Please Not rated yet
Hi, I have four siblings. My mother stay with me since I got married. I invited her to stay with me during that time because I felt lonely living in my …

Selfish Sibling Not rated yet
My mother isn't what I would call old. Shes in her late 60s and has never had to do anything all her life. Dad passed and apart from being able to look …

Sole Caregiver for my MOTHER-IN-LAW Not rated yet
I have the weirdest situation... I'm 57 and my parents are both gone. My husband and I added on to our house years ago when we still liked his parents. …

Feel Sad and Guilty Moving Mother into a Facility Not rated yet
I have a bad feeling like I am betraying my mother. I am discussing moving her into a care community for her Alzheimer's. I have been caring for her …

90 Year Old Father and 2nd Wife Not rated yet
My mother died 26 years ago. My father took care of her until he hooked up with the cleaning lady arranged by my older sister. She covered up for …

Caring for my Mom Not rated yet
I keep reading many negative entries about siblings not being very helpful. I just wanted to give my brother and his wife kudos because they really try …

Where has the Love Gone? Not rated yet
I'm the oldest child caring for my dad who is in his eighties. He has mild dementia and a number of health issues. Caring for him has become difficult. …

Click here to write your own.

Used by Everyone Not rated yet
For 37 years I was that adult child who stayed in the area, while the other four siblings could not leave home fast enough. My husband and I did everything …

Sister? Brothers? I Haven't Any Anymore!!!! Not rated yet
Basically, my mom is the sole survivor of her family. My dad, and all her brothers, sisters, cousins, etc have passed. All she has left are my 2 …

Mother in Law Lives with Us Because She Could not/Would not Travel Back Home Not rated yet
My husband and my mother-in-law have always been close during our 31 years of marriage. My MIL would spend a couple of weeks with us every couple of months …

Just So Tired Not rated yet
I have been taking care of my elderly mother for four years since my Dad passed. It has interfered with my personal life and the life of my child. …

Lazy People Not rated yet
I've been living with my 83-year-old grandmother who has arthritis, so she just lays in bed all day and everyday. She always has an excuse for why …

Caregiving a Narcissist Not rated yet
When reading these comments, I realize that while my mother was not as bad as some people's, she was always a difficult personality. My way of dealing …

Two Toxic Brothers and Every Day Now is Too Difficult  Not rated yet
I understand everyone's stress and pain and frustration here; I live it everyday. Seventeen years ago, my mother's chronic Epstein Barr virus rendered …

A Not-for-Profit "Eden Alternative" Home is a Godsend Not rated yet
All my life my Mom has said "I don't want to be a burden." My Mom is my mom, and I love her, but she's never been a very loving or likable person. She …

Mother is Mean and Horrible Not rated yet
My mother is horrible. She calls me crying that she is cold and that wind is coming through her door (its winter), and I tell her I can come by after work. …

Guilt Tripped Not rated yet
My grandmother reached a place where she could no longer care for herself. She refused to leave home and fell and broke her humerus. She has been 100% …

Being Used by "Elderly" Parent and Children!!!! Not rated yet
My husband and I married 27 years ago. He was 19 & I was 18. We are in mid forties now with two adult children. We are very happy with each other but his …

Help Not rated yet
I have been living with my father for the past 5 years since my mom died with my 5 year old son. He was born the same year 2009 that my mom died. …

Weird Question Not rated yet
My parents are in their 70s one keeps having mini strokes the other is starting to show signs of dementia. My 95 year old grandfather lives with them. …

Mother, 101 Years Old and Still Living at Home Not rated yet
I have not taken care of parents in my home, but next door. My dad has been gone for 26 years, but when he had a stroke in 1976 mom took him home and …

Caring for My Mother Alone Not rated yet
I was caring for my parents in a small way while I worked. When my father passed my mother was left with a large tenement house. When she decided to …

Burnt Out Not rated yet
I have cared for my 86 year old mother in my home for over 10 years.I am married and have a 21 year old son still at home attending college. I am completely …

Am I the Only One? Not rated yet
Hi, I can't seem to find any help or even anyone with same situation. I was making bad decisions at one point in early adulthood and got into trouble. …

Let Go of Resentment Not rated yet
I am the youngest of 6 children, 3 sister's and 2 brother's, one of my brother's is my twin. I am also a Registered Nurse by profession, but resigned …

How Can This Be? Not rated yet
Reading some the posts on this website I get the feeling that there are a lot of people like me going through anger and resentment at a parent or parents …

Can't understand it Not rated yet
I live in mother's home with her after she started progressing in the stage of Alzheimer's. In addition to that I have a brother that has suffered …

The Non Caregiver! Not rated yet
I have read lots of stories of people being the only carer and no help from siblings. But not yet come across anyone that has the problem of wanting to …

Brother Declares me Dead to Him Not rated yet
After waiting 1 1/2 years for my brother to come through on his commitment to have my mom for awhile if not forever at my request he has reneged and not …

I want my life back! Not rated yet
Around xmas 2012 I get a call from my brother stating mom was in CICU and had pneumonia and heart issues. I'd already flown back 2 months prior trying …

Real Legal Laws for Caregivers Not rated yet
Wouldn't it be great if our country had a law that did the following: 1. Paid caregivers for being drivers, emotional dump grounds, managers, housekeepers, …

Burnt out Not rated yet
Father committed suicide 5 years ago (which was devastating all by itself) leaving mother w/reversed mortgage house- bills-no life insurance - mother …

Click here to write your own.

The Rich and the Deadbeat Not rated yet
From a family of 5 two parents and three children, there are four of us left my mother passed from cancer in 2006. We all pitched in then. 2 years …

Depressed Daughter Not rated yet
My mother age 87 lives with me and my partner. My partner is moving out. My mother is a narcissist who never was caring. My partner tried but the bottom …

Too much, Too long Not rated yet
My 91 year old Mother can not find any enjoyment in her life and is draining me emotionally. She gives my brother a free ride and believe me he takes …

Don't Know What to Do Not rated yet
I'm a single parent who goes to school as well a work and also takes care of my father who has Parkinson's disease. Out of five siblings I'm the only one …

Just Wondering...? Not rated yet
My 90 year old mom lives with my husband and I just shy of two years now due to medical issues. I have 4 siblings, one nearby. My question: Do I …

How do You get Your 92 year Old Mom to Get into the Car?? Not rated yet
Mom is 92, with dementia and she becomes aggressive and belligerent easily. She often shows her rage at family dinners and ruins what should be a nice …

I am Tired!! Not rated yet
My Mom has been with me for 15 months. She is 84 and found out she has dementia. She is physically in good shape. Takes care of her own needs as far as …

Resentment Doesn't Begin to Describe How I Feel... Not rated yet
I have a friend who became the de-facto caregiver and a cousin where this happened as well. As I began to see the changes in my mom, I figured "I won't …

Velma, Disabled 61 year old. Not rated yet
My mother is 80 years old. She is an amputee with a serious gambling habit. My brother died last year who was her caregiver. I have one sister who lives …

What's Different About Today? Not rated yet
Mom hasn't walked into the kitchen singing "Good Morning!". I don't hear her filling the coffee pot for her morning cup of coffee. I don't hear her …

Been Here Before... Not rated yet
I've been living with my parents for over a year now, after having lost my home and job of 10 years. My father has progressively grown worse with his …

Pops Gonna Be a DAD Again at age 69 Not rated yet
I had to update you all on what my wonderful Pops has gone and done now that he has completely abandoned our Mom. He has gotten his floozy live-in pregnant!! …

I Dont Know What To Do Anymore ?  Not rated yet
I am 21 and I live in London with my dad who has(COPD). My dad was diagnosed when I was about 16-17. I was in college and I had my whole life ahead of …

Over-Stressed 31 Year Old Not rated yet
My daddy passed away in February of this year (2012) we have always been a close family. I have a sister that is 45, a sister 37 that passed way in 2009, …

Sandwiched Not rated yet
I am very nervous as my siblings are going to be here and it is the first time in 5 years and then it was just for a day. Anyway, there is an underlying …

All Alone Not rated yet
I am caring for my father-in-law. A man that is not my dad. He was never really a dad to my husband because he was never around. He has never attended …

Angry and Used In Florida Not rated yet
My Dad is 84 and his wife is 91, I have never had a close relationship with my Dad and have barely spoken to him in 15 years. I have 2 sisters and one …

The Only Child Not rated yet
I often read about siblings not pulling their weight, I don`t have any brothers or sisters, and have been my mothers sole carer for 8years, the last three …

Mrs M Not rated yet
Unfortunately mt dad got run over and passed away in 2008. My mum couldn't cope, I had to do everything. I was then 34 with 3 children, 6 months 3 and …

Beyond Stressed Out and Sad!! Not rated yet
My Mother is now 77 years old and in the past year has become a person I don't know. She used to be neat and organized and now it's like living with a …

Wow, I feel kind of Relieved Not rated yet
No time to rant away right now as I am at my job, but it is nice to see I am not alone in resenting my siblings who do little to help with my father who …

Dads Recovery Time From Surgery Not rated yet
Hello! My dad had surgery and I had him in my home for 2 months. Home health care came everyday at first and then every 3rd day along with nurses and …

Joint Caregiver Not rated yet
Hi there, I am not the "chosen" main caregiver because my sister takes on that role much of the time. However, I am the "chosen one" that can live …

Ground Hog Day Not rated yet
Everyday is ground hog day when you have to look after a very elderly parent, it is the same old thing day in day out. I live 5 minutes away from my mother, …

Not Feeling Great Not rated yet
My problem is that although I care for my mother and want to help out, which I do (my sister and I both care for my Mom who still lives in her own house …

Click here to write your own.

Daughter and Sole Caregiver Not rated yet
I live with my mother and have become her primary caregiver. While I'm not sure, I believe she has the beginning stages of dementia. However, the degree …

I'm Just Starting to Get It...I'm in Charge!!!!! Not rated yet
I recently moved 600 miles to come home and move into my mom's house to help her live her life. Notice I don't mention my life. That's because I don't …

Whitebear Not rated yet
Please, anyone, give me some insight. I am 47 years old and my mother is 85. I've taken care of her off and on since I was 17 - broken bones, surgeries, …

Whatever You Say...Whatever You Want... Not rated yet
My mother is a complete control freak and has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I was living on my own and moved back in with my mother six months ago because …

Overwhelmed with What has Turned Out to be an Enormous Responsibility Not rated yet
My husband & I agreed to care for his Mom after she had stroke, 2 & 1/2 yrs ago. Initially, it seemed to me, to be the "right thing" to do. It has turned …

Drama Demon Not rated yet
If I were to tell all of the crazy irrational things my sister has done to family members, it actually would read like a bad novel or at least a soap opera …

Mrs D.S. Grundy Not rated yet
My mother has been suffering from Alzheimer's with Vascular Dementia for nearly 12 years now. She has been in a care home for 3 years now and needed constant …

My Best Friend... Mom? No, my Dog. Not rated yet
Growing up, I was very close to my dad but was always at-odds with my mom. My dad passed away several years ago and mom was left alone. And now that time …

Invisible Not rated yet
My dad passed away a month after my brother and mom moved in with me. I am a stay at home mom but so is my sister who also lives in the same town about …

Assigned since Birth to be Cinderello Not rated yet
Prior to mom's fall a couple of years ago, there was a document which indicated that all decision health-related and financial where to be taken by both …

Assisted Living Not rated yet
Mother just got out of rehab after having two toes removed. She is at her house which is ADA equipped. However, she said she now wants to go to assisted …

My Mother is Causing my Mental & Physical Health to Suffer Not rated yet
My father passed away around fifteen years ago, leaving my Mother with little money and a bleak future. While both of my parents had worked all of their …

Fighting For Freedom Not rated yet
My father died two years ago and I now know how much patience he had to deal with my "difficult" elderly mother. I know she maybe scared but she says …

Caregiver in Ohio Not rated yet
My mother, who is a widow, recently had a brain tumor removed. Of course, all my siblings attended the surgery but soon after went home to continue their …

Mad and Tired as HELL! Not rated yet
I am the only surviving child and my bipolar, Parkinson afflicted, mid-stage Alzheimer's mother lives with me and has for 20 plus years. When my husband …

Guilt.  Not rated yet
Hi,  I was raised by my grand parents. Mainly my granny, as my grand father died when I was 12. My parents are still away. Both parents were irresponsible …

I Feel Isolated from my Kids Not rated yet
I moved my mother out of a nursing home in November and brought her to live with me. I did this without consulting my 3 adult children because I did not …

Disabled Dad & Rude Husband Not rated yet
I am 57 years old. My mom died 6 1/2 years ago from cancer. My dad is 83 and is legally blind and very hard of hearing even with a hearing aid. I have …

Off the Hook Sister Not rated yet
My mom - 72 - decided to sell her home and move to Phoenix to live near my sister in a warmer climate. She barely made it two months and is now living …

Why Am I Writing This? Not rated yet
My husband and I are both pushing 60. His parents are in the their late 80s. His mom has Alzheimer's and his dad is her primary caregiver (not a great …

The Problem with Caregiving Not rated yet
The problem with care giving is that nobody cares about it except the people who are actually doing it. Think about it. How many elderly parents receiving …

Nurse of the Family Not rated yet
I moved in with my Mother 6 months ago. Since that time my brother and sister have totally flaked out. I am furious all the time with them. They go …

I am Ready to Walk Away Not rated yet
I am the eldest. I have two siblings. My sister is a prescription junkie, but my parents prefer to say she has mental issues (she was in a major car …

Always Me! Not rated yet
A few years ago my 84 year old mom was told she had Alzheimer's. I knew something was wrong with her a few years leading to the diagnoses. It is …

ASKING TOO MUCH Not rated yet
I live with a room mate who has FOUR children two of whom live close by and do not communicate with me - even though I have requested their help. Moms …

Click here to write your own.

Anger to Everyone Especially My Self! Not rated yet
Hello, I've used to write here once and now twice. All of my grand mother activities and everything about her are my responsibility and I mean that. Everyday …

Dumped on Daughter Not rated yet
I am tired of taking care of a difficult person (my mom). My dad was not NEAR as demanding as her. She wants me to give up my career to just sit with …

Mum Expecting too Much Not rated yet
I don't want to come across as being hard to get along with, but I am at the stage that I don't even like my mother any more, she has been living with …

Interference from Brother's ex Wife Not rated yet
My Brother and his wife have been divorced for 8 years. My Brother lives in another State and makes himself unavailable to help with the care and health …

Turning Point Not rated yet
There is a point, unfortunately, to merely walk away from a sibling and consider him or her to be a non-entity. In my case, my nearby sister, despite …

I am the Executor of the Will Not rated yet
I am my father's caregiver. I have a sister who lives a few miles away who has shown NO interest in him. The last time I asked her to take him to the doctors …

Sheila Not rated yet
My widowed mum is 86. My 3 brothers and 3 sisters in law have all ganged up on me and told me that because I am only a minda on the spastic pension I have …

Don't Know What to do Anymore Not rated yet
I look after my parents ... both are in their 70s and need care. My mum's movement is restricted and she needs lots of help with dressing etc. My dad can …

Venting, Depressed, Don't know What to Do Not rated yet
I have spent pretty much my entire adulthood caring for my parents. My mother has schizophrenia (had it before I was even born), and her "episodes" …

India Perspective Not rated yet
In India it is always the Son who has to supposed to take on parental care... in my case... my sister is elder and stays close... The only help that …

What do You do When You are Pushed out of Helping? Not rated yet
I was not even told that my help was no longer needed! I would go to help my mother and she would say your sister already put me in the shower. This went …

Frustrated and Feeling Guilty  Not rated yet
My mother came to live with me and my husband 9 months ago. She was suffering from severe depression and dementia. I was able to get her to a neurologist …

TIRED Not rated yet
My mother is 97 years old and living with my husband and I. We took her in 1 1/2 years ago when she fell and broke her hip. Thought she was on her last …

Choosing Family Over Self Not rated yet
I am a 22 year old girl who is trying to care for my 79 year old grandmother and 50 year old mother. This is becoming such a major problem because I can't …

Daughter Not rated yet
My father doesn't feel like I am "helping" enough or spending enough time with my mother (who has Alzheimer's disease). I live at home, I help get her …

Ms P Warren Not rated yet
I am 55 and an only full-time working non-driving daughter divorced with two sons. The situation with my sons is that I could not depend on them to help. …

Feel Like I am in This Alone Not rated yet
I am 44 years old, a Social Worker by trade in a very demanding administrative position at work. I am a wife and a mother to a 10 year old son. I am …

Husband Not rated yet
My wife of 57 years has had major health problems the latest being COPD....cat scan showing chronic lung disease 3 days a week ago in hospital came home …

Daughter, the Oldest of 9 Siblings Not rated yet
I am the eldest of 9 of siblings and like the other reader and I have always been the caregiver. Also, when my mother died at 36 years I was 14 and …

My Mom Needs Help but my Siblings won't Let Me Help Not rated yet
My mother has dementia and is very limited in her ability to walk or care for any of her needs. She needs assistance with everything. I live 20 minutes …

Remember me? Not rated yet
My brothers and sister were not up to the task of watching over my parents. When my father died in June, I brought my mother to another state to live …

Caregiver Not rated yet
I had to move in with my dad 3 years ago plus work 10 hours a day. My husband has worked some in 3 years so he would watch my dad. I have 2 brothers, one …

Single Mom and Caregiver for Elderly Mom Not rated yet
My Mother has been living with me for the past 26 months. I am a widow with a teenage boy. The past month has been extremely challenging for me. My …

OPINIONS, PLEASE...Brother and his Girlfriend "Conning" Elderly Dad Not rated yet
My 54 yr old brother has lived with our parents since 2002. Mom passed away in 2009 after 2 years in a nursing home with end stage Alzheimer's. Mike did …

Anger And Resentment Not rated yet
I am a caregiver to both my elderly parents and doing it all alone. I have one sister living in the city and 2 brothers out of province. One brother who …

Click here to write your own.

Mum Not rated yet
I think for me is seeing a once happy independent carefree parent going out and about on daily walks now barely able to move about without being in pain. …

Sandwiched and Saddled Not rated yet
My lovely, loving Mother just turned 93. In the summer of 2008, while at a family wedding, three of my siblings, all of whom live in Mom's hometown, took …

I'm So Done With This!!!!!! Not rated yet
My 47 year old brother died suddenly 9 months ago from diabetic complications. My Mom was undergoing tx for lung cancer, and died six months ago. We had …

No More Resentment Not rated yet
I am the caregiver of my elderly father. I have a selfish sister with a dinky job who states that she works and can't help. She is full of ideas but she …

Guilt Not rated yet
My 87 yr old mother is mentally sharp most of the time, but has severe osteoporosis/arthritis/heart condition. After my divorce 7 years ago, I selected …

Because I live Close Not rated yet
Mentally abusive elderly father who never learned to live in 20th century where woman work outside the home. My mother worked outside and still gardens …

Help, my Brother wants Full Financial Control for my Elderly Parents.... Not rated yet
My dad has Alzheimer's and 12 months ago Mum had a massive stroke. This has left her unable to move, eat or communicate but she has full mental capacity. …

The Only Grandchild with a Heart.... Not rated yet
I am 35 years old, married, I have a 19 year old son in college, two step children 3 hours away and I own my own business. My father passed away 4 years …

Caregiver to an 84yr Old & Am Mother of Two under 5. Not rated yet
I have moved in to my mothers house to care for her, moved in to her house with my husband and my son who is one and daughter who is four, I run a business, …

Daughter #3 Not rated yet
My sibling has lived with my parents totally expense-free for the last 20 years. My parents are in failing health. They rent a house, and have been in …

Fedup with Siblings that Don't Care Not rated yet
I have been taking care of my mom who has Parkinson's for the last six years and work full time. My older sister has nothing to do with my mother other …

sbp Not rated yet
Mother has Alzheimer's ... dad is a drinker and aging. Both have been married for 63 years. 3 out of 10 siblings caring for my mother (and father) at …

Angry, Hurt and Sad Not rated yet
My mother is 82 and disabled.She had a severe stroke at age 58 that left her paralyzed on the right side but she worked very hard to have as normal life …

Karen's a Mess Not rated yet
My mom lives with me but talks on the phone to my siblings everyday about me. She is 86 years old and needs a lot of patience. My dad just died and he …

Miss B Not rated yet
Hi all.... I am the sole carer for my mum who is 81 and in ill health... my brother and his wife and daughter have never bothered looking after my parents …

Stupid Broken Leg Not rated yet
My best friend has a broken leg. I know its not terminal or whatever, but I moved into the apartment with him, and I know I'm not supposed to be moving …

Angry with Mother Not rated yet
My dad died 76 years ago and since then my mother of 82 has become a problem. I have 3 older brothers who work and don't really help in the care of my …

Angery as Hell Not rated yet
Because we as a family all went through hurricane Katrina, but I took my mother, no one else seem to want to be bothered as,my mother has cancer in her …

Struggling with Resentment Not rated yet
I am wondering if there are support groups out there to help with "sandwich" generation issues as well as sibling issues. I work full time, have two …

Stress & Guilt Are Killing Youngest Not rated yet
So, I might be a hypochondriac -- but my body is reacting in ways I have never recognized in my near-50 years. I have aged in ways I never thought possible. …

Elderly Caregiver Anger and Resentment - AHHHHHH Not rated yet
I resent having to be there for my parents. My parents were emotionally dysfunctional and unavailable for myself (oldest) and my 3 siblings. I have …

YES I AM ANGRY Not rated yet
I have a sister who couldn't care less about our father and because she is the oldest, she is the power of attorney. She has summers off but last year …

Jill Not rated yet
I guess, I don't have any issues with helping my parents. The are still pretty self sufficient, but my mother has been "losing touch" for some time now. …

Tired of Caretaking for My Dad Not rated yet
My dad has had strokes and continues to have little ones too. He has had 1 heart attack and open heart surgery. He is lazy. He pays nothing. He does …

A Different Kind of Help Not rated yet
I am a registered nurse and the oldest of 4 siblings. They each still have full time jobs, but I am mostly retired. (I work only about 8 hours a week.) …

Click here to write your own.

Gray Camp Not rated yet
In recent months I have been able to get a break from my mom. (I am living with and caring for her.) At my sharp 86 year old aunts request I have been …

I wish I Could be there More for my Mom Not rated yet
My mom growing up in the late 60's did everything for us. Even made our beds in the morning. My father is a Christian. Now that he is getting older, …

Guilt Over Leaving Mom in A Nursing Home to Move to the UK Not rated yet
Almost six years ago, my husband and I returned from living in England and Spain (he's English) to take care of my mother who is now 96 and in a nursing …

No Siblings Not rated yet
My mother and stepdad came to stay with me when my mom got really ill with Parkinson's disease. After she passed away my stepdad stayed in my house. …

Sibling Criticism - Never Ending with no Support Not rated yet
My mother has lived with me for six years because she can not live alone. I have three other siblings and two of which she can't even visit because the …

Anger and Resentment with both Parent and Brothers Not rated yet
First I am so glad I found this site. I have a 79 yr old mother who has had Rheumatoid Arthritis for almost 29 years. She has always known that one day …

I was my Mom's caregiver, now it's down to my Dad Not rated yet
Yes, I do resent being labeled as the caregiver to my elderly Dad. He can not hear or see clearly enough to drive. He has very wicked words and no good …

Wife left Me Due to Caregiver Duties Not rated yet
I am fifty seven years old.My name is Lawrence.For a good number of years my wife and I, whilst working,looked after my elderly parents. My mother died …

daughter  Not rated yet
My parents 82/81 live with me. In 1990 they came to help me with my 3/2 yr old children as I was going through my divorce and I remarried in 1995. …

Click here to write your own.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Why Do Most People find it So Hard to Tell Their Parents THIS Is How It Needs To Be.

    Feb 23, 17 11:00 AM

    Why do Most people find it so hard to tell their parents this is how it needs to be! Is it because your scared they won't leave you a penny? Is it because

    Read More

  2. Hired Caregivers have a Rough Job Too...

    Feb 22, 17 09:55 AM

    I am a long time caregiver for elderly and mentally ill adults and yes we are not paid fairly and treated like dirt by the person we care give for...their

    Read More

  3. Resentment

    Feb 22, 17 09:42 AM

    I am not sure how I have ended up with having to take full responsibility for my father. My brother is doing anything. I have a unhealthy amount of resentment.

    Read More