Elderly Parent Moving In - Changes in Lifestyle
(Ashevill, NC, USA)
My husband and I have just completed moving an elderly parent (my Mother) into our home permanently. It has been a difficult adjustment for all of us. She is no longer at 86 years capable of independently taking her medicines, driving, maintaining her home or eating proper meals. We moved from our large home three years ago and downsized thinking that we would be living alone. Now we have had to adjust our home to accommodate her rollator, potty chair, shower aids, among other things. I just spent two weeks closing out her home of 33 years. Half of the household that she insisted on keeping is now in expensive monthly storage because all involved feel that she cannot handle being told that she will never again live by herself. She thinks she is with us temporarily until her house is sold and her health improves. I love her and realize this is the only option for her financially other than a medicaid nursing home at this point, however, I can't from time to time feel resentment in the fact that my life is not my own anymore. By the time I get her up in the morning, make her meals, and provide things for her to do during the day I have trouble fitting into my day the things I have to do that she can't help with. I guess the comparison is trying to keep a home, and all activities that requires, when you have a very young child who requires constant care. A trip to the grocery store turns into a stroll while she gets her exercise slowly walking with the walker usually taking three times longer than it would have been if I was alone. Mealtime preparation has become a debate and compromise as her generations diet is not the same as ours. I am an only child so there is no one to help with this responsibility. The challenges are many.