Elderly Parent - Had to Cancel Surgery

by len
(SD, CA, USA)

I tried to prevent an error but it still happened. The pre-op instructions said not to take the blood thinner 7 days prior to the surgery. I emptied out my mom's weekly pill box and placed the main container out of the regular cabinet. But at the beginning of the week she went ahead and did her typical routine and filled the pill box with the blood thinner.

I thought I covered all the bases but she took three days of the blood thinner and now the surgery has been canceled. I'm so mad right now- cried for 2 hours straight. I am trying so hard to balance my family responsibilities, work, and keeping my mom happy and healthy. But I can't seem to deal with these bumps in the road.

She is forgetful and won't admit to it. She denies ever hearing my instructions or the doctor's instructions. Things are written down.

I have to find a way to deal with this and I feel so alone. My husband's patience has worn thin, my brothers have their own lives, and I just have to carry this responsibility. I'm trying to be responsible and have given up on enjoying being with her. I am all task oriented now, have to stay focused or else I'll miss something again. I'm so frustrated.

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I Understand!
by: Anonymous

I so understand where you're coming from.

The first thing I would say to you is YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I know that is "cliche", but you are not!

I understand that the time you spend with her is out of duty and not because you want to. My Mom used to go everywhere with me, my constant companion, my best friend! Now everything is so duty oriented.I have spoiled my family by doing everything for myself and for them.

I've created this monster and now when I need help, they're oblivious to it because they are so used to me doing everything! The biggest problem I have is the guilt!I always said that I would never put my mother in a nursing home, but I never thought that I would be physically unable to care for her!

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