Elderly mother who only has one visitor - me

by Christine
(Toronto, Ontario, Canada)

My mother is 96 years old in a nursing home. She looks forward to my weekly visits. I pick up any toiletries she needs, and stay and have dinner and see a movie with her. I have 3 brothers and one sister who live 1-1.5 hours away. I am retired but they are all working either part or full time.

I feel very badly that they don’t visit my Mom very often.

I know she’d like to see them even though she would never complain about it. She finds it hard to talk for very long on the phone but just likes the company of having someone with her without feeling she has to talk very much. I have often strongly hinted for them to visit more often, but they don’t.

My siblings and I get together for parties, etc. And on the surface are on good terms. But i am feeling more and more resentful and angry towards them and often feel like severing all ties with them. I’m really not sure how to handle this. I want to keep the family together but it’s becoming harder.

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You will be glad
by: Anonymous

Mom is not going to live for ever. You have faced that truth and your siblings have not. When the day comes that she is gone, you are going to be saying "Thank God I did" and they are going to be saying "Would God I had".

In compassion for that time, keep them in the loop about Mom's condition. However, don't take upon yourself a burden that is not yours to bear, that of trying to make them do what they should.

Don't sever ties. As you all get older, what ever family you have left will become more precious and the relationships worth overlooking differences.

you don't have to communicate with people you don't like
by: Anonymous

even if they're your family. I haven't talked to my siblings in over 25 years because they're horrible to me. they don't talk to mom either, and didn't talk to dad before he died in 2013.

it is what it is. if your siblings won't talk to mom you can't make them do it. be kind to your mom while you have her and the heck with your siblings.

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