Elder Caregiver - I have Anger and a Lot of Resentment of Siblings
I have read and printed a lot of the material on your website. So much of it hits home with me.
I moved in with my elderly father 16+ years ago after my stepmother passed away. It seemed like a great setup for both of us. I'd pretty much given up on finding the right man. Then, I met my fiance' about 3 years later. I've been unable to get married due to being the ONLY caregiver my dad has.
My 3 siblings either never come around at all, with their "hand out" when they do or when they have nothing else going on. I have to retire at 55 though my health is good in order to better deal with the stress of caring for my dad who can be quite demanding since he's fairly active even with his medical condition(s)& being 87.
We have very difficult property to maintain and no one else helps anymore since I will not allow Dad to OVER pay people. I enjoy being outdoors, so for the most part, I enjoy cutting grass, trimming trees, working in the garden, digging, etc.
It's become extremely hard trying to work full-time, pay all the bills, manage Dad's multiple medications, do most of the upkeep & maintenance around the house, run errands, manage doctor appointments for both of us, getting Dad to eat these days when he USED to eat everything in sight.
On top of all this, my fiance' has multiple medical problems; i.e., strokes, diabetes, prostate cancer, etc. & I only get to see him twice a week which is not much of a courtship. Therefore, I've become EXTREMELY resentful to all my siblings whom I used to love dearly.
One goes to the beach 4-6 times a year (I've had 2-3 so-called vacations in 16 years & it's been about 10 years since the last one.)
I so much need a respite & I so fear I won't have a chance to marry my fiance' before both & and my dad are gone, especially since I've never been married.
Thank you for Listening.....