Elder Care - Selfish Brother

by lisa
(massachusetts)

My Mom can barely take care of herself any longer. My brother is 50 years old and never left home. He lives in the apartment downstairs.

Now, that she is old, my brother is growing tired of caring for her. He expects that I share the care. I live about an hour away, work full time and am raising two teenagers. I simply cannot find the time to clean her house, which is one of the many things she would like me to do. She refuses to hire someone or have anyone in her home other than the two of us. This leaves my brother in charge of doing the care taking. He is angry at me, but I feel that he should help my mother, since he has lived there with her, without paying rent, his entire life. She has cooked, cleaned and done everything for him until four years ago when she had a stroke.

I don't think he has the right to complain so much. He works part-time, still lives in the same apartment and never married. Am I being selfish in thinking that he should be charged with this task?