Elder Care - Selfish Brother

by lisa
(massachusetts)

My Mom can barely take care of herself any longer. My brother is 50 years old and never left home. He lives in the apartment downstairs.


Now, that she is old, my brother is growing tired of caring for her. He expects that I share the care. I live about an hour away, work full time and am raising two teenagers. I simply cannot find the time to clean her house, which is one of the many things she would like me to do. She refuses to hire someone or have anyone in her home other than the two of us. This leaves my brother in charge of doing the care taking. He is angry at me, but I feel that he should help my mother, since he has lived there with her, without paying rent, his entire life. She has cooked, cleaned and done everything for him until four years ago when she had a stroke.

I don't think he has the right to complain so much. He works part-time, still lives in the same apartment and never married. Am I being selfish in thinking that he should be charged with this task?

Comments for Elder Care - Selfish Brother

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstar
Selfish Brother
by: Anonymous

HI! You are not selfish at all! Seeing you stated he was living with her all these years without even giving a cent. He should go out and work , give your mother "rent money" and take this money to get the work done around the home.

Not easy when we have to work, raise a family, but seems mothers demand more of their daughters, than from the brothers.

Simply keep in touch with her.

Take care! Betty

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Nope
by: Anonymous

Not being selfish. He needs to do care for her. But I now live with my mom after my brother died. They lived together for many years and mom cooked and cleaned for him. He complained that I was not there to care for mom. But it was their home not mine. Now that he is gone.

I was forced to come care for my mom. Sell my home and leave my career. My two other brothers are retired with nothing to do. And refuse to come and help out. So I have been on both ends. My feeling is that families should act as families and work together to support not only the parent but each other.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2018 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Shallow, Hallow, Empty...

    Oct 31, 18 10:37 AM

    We share in the care taking of his mother. She has dementia & Alzheimer's...He's the middle son of four. He was the chosen one in his mom's inappropriate

    Read More

  2. Building on Quicksand

    Oct 31, 18 10:29 AM

    Mom is 98. I have been taking care of her for 8 years. My brother comes from out of state twice a year to visit. He calls five nights a week to talk to

    Read More

  3. Unless you're a Caretaker, you do not Understand

    Oct 29, 18 10:26 AM

    My husband and I have been taking care of my mom for years. First in her apt for 5 years and now she has been living with us for a year (she's 85). Things

    Read More