Elder Care Downsize & Move, Financially Manipulative Elderly Parent Mother
I recently moved my Mother out of a 5500 sq ft house. It was packed to the rafters. Downsizing took my husband, daughter and two hired ladies two+ weeks working nonstop.
Hard labor, cleaning, as well at the advice of the estate sales person. Mom did zip. She knew two years ago, she wasn't going to be able to stay, she did nothing. She was involved in a long lawsuit with her former housemates' hideous adult children. She sat and acted like a Princess, giving lip service and nothing else.
After a room was cleaned and prepped for the house sale, she'd go back in and start pulling things out and dropping them on the floor. Annoying!! Yes. After cleaning out eleven closets and five dressers, her "moving boxes" were ready. She had packed none, cleaned nothing and reorganized zip. She'd go on at length how some item could go to resale or vintage clothing sale, until I could scream. There was no time.
The movers arrived & loaded her up, we moved her into her apartment. I had blown a week off at the trial and the two weeks to get her moved. She had 30 days, and didn't lift a finger.
Siblings? I have one blood sister, she has never helped to do a thing ever. Other times when Mom had surgery or was sick, zip. She's too far away. Yea, right. I live 500 miles away and have footed the bill at my own expense. The last time charming sister "visited", she went around pointing out what she wanted when Mom died. Charming.
During the process, Mom, was always ready to go out to eat and tell anyone/waiter who'd listen the story of her "move". She'd groan and complain of her arthritis to the point of being embarrassing to herself.
Knowing full well none of this was free, Mom never offered one dime towards the downsizing, movers or dinner. She lied to me about her monthly income and put on a pity party. But she had money to shop. High priced cosmetics,manicures and pedicures. I found her bank statements and checked her deposits. All her noise, wasn't adding up. Sure enough, she was receiving $600 per month more than she'd told me. I was livid. It was an attempt to manipulate me into paying for the services at the apartment complex. I told the leasing agent behind her back, "She's signing the lease and paying for it, not me.
She has her own income and this is her apartment." Thankfully, he understood.
I had gone home to setup being gone from work and get my pet sitter situated. My daughter took her back to sign the paper work. Mom gave the man a post dated check and asked him to hold it.
Before move in, we went back. He went over the paperwork and asked, "Is it okay to run your check?" Mom deliberately tuned him out. I got her attention, and asked. She was quite stunned. I'd paid the movers, downsizing ladies and bought a new bed for her apartment. She'd lied to me about her income and turned a blind eye to all the expenses, including her attorney. I wasn't going to bite this too. NO I WASN'T going to pay the rent. She was shocked. After she was set up, we left to go finish preparing the house for the sale. She called, she wanted her car keys, to go to the hairdresser. My daughter had inadvertently ended up with her keys. I suggested, try the salon at the complex. Oh no, she'd wait. We didn't go back for two days. It was a blessed relief from hearing her yammer.
She's in her apartment, the sale is over. I haven't gotten the check yet on the sale. She's attempting to spend the sale money. I have told her, the money has to go to her attorney. She's stunned. She thought the attorney would wait even longer and she'd have the cash.
No, I was not the favorite daughter, nor the eldest. I am the youngest. I work full time. I ended up with this chore because I was stupid.
My sister will not lift a finger but I anticipate a fight, when she finds out there's nothing left. My sister is the eldest, and the favorite. She was the talented one, the pretty one. Mom always told stories of how pretty she was as a child and such a gifted artist. I was the fat little book worm. We both graduated from college. My sister married and has rarely worked outside her home.
Her talent: finding a man stupid enough to support her.
No, I will not go visit for Thanksgiving and I have no vacation time left for Christmas. I highly resent being lied to and cheated. I feel like she's ripped me off with her lies, conceit and shopping addiction. She's stunned I'm angry.
I am done.