Elder Care Anger - Sadness is Setting In

by Linda
(Virginia)

I have been here at this web site before and was able to relieve some stress because I was so angry at my sisters who have made this whole process so difficult.


They tell me how to feel, what to say and do, what not to say and do, etc.

My oldest sister was declared Executor of my parents estate in 1992. I do not know why no one else was given the option or why they did not assign co-executors?? Since then, I have been pushed and bossed around by this "Executor" and the baby sister agrees with everything she says (just to keep her happy). The only sister who would feel like I do was taken away by a drunk driver in 1995. We were the middle two and just alike. I still miss her a lot.

They(parents) are in a nursing home on medicaid(poor money management by the Executor) has left them with nothing. My Mom(80) is unable to walk plus a stroke victim (since 1995) and Daddy(88) has stage 4 cancer and his days are numbered. It is sad to see him now because he is not lucid. The doctors assume the cancer is in his brain. He has hallucinations and sleeps a lot. He is on pain patches. Just 2 weeks ago I was able to take them to church but things have really gone downhill since.

The anger seems to be leaving me and there is just a heavy sadness. My Dad seems to have angels around him weekly as I visit. My Mom knows he will be leaving her soon because she has tears over the smallest matters. She seems to be trying to prepare herself. I know a higher power will care for this matter but it is still a very hard time in my life.

Thanks for listening.

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Elder Care Anger - Hang in There
by: Janet

Hang in there - God will help you.

I am in the same situation with my Dad - 3 sisters and I am the only one who is taking care of him. I don't mind, even though I don't have a lot of time for myself or my family right now. I consider it an honor to help my Dad, who is going through cancer himself right now.

Every morning as I am getting ready I remind myself that God will not give me more than I can handle. I literally pat myself on the back and tell myself I can do this and I always manage to make it through whatever task is a hand, even with my own handicaps right now.

I have really found that if I focus on the positive side of things and not let the bad stuff get to me that it helps me a great deal to survive whatever crisis I am facing at that moment.

Good luck and remember - you are not alone in this.

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