Elder Care Anger - Only Right Choice
Elder Care Anger -
Only Right Choice
I am a 50 year old military contractor who works in Afghanistan and Iraq. Last January while deployed outside Baghdad it became apparent that my 87 year old mother was sick and wasn't doing well at home. I made a call to the American Red Cross and they sent a volunteer to check on her.
My mom was crawling to get around the house, had very little food and was out of pet food for her cat, dog and birds. My brother a daily drinker lives about an hour from her and let her spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and her birthday alone. My older brother in Florida (my mom lived in mass), is self centered and whipped by his over bearing wife, also did little for her in her waning years.
After calls to neighbors and the town paramedics I had my mom taken to the emergency room all accomplished from Baghdad and was on a flight home.
Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma.
I did the only thing that I could do I resigned from my job and took on the sole role of caregiver. Years ago, I was a useless drunk and an addict.
With out her I still would be, I more than owed her.
She bravely took the chemo and looked like she had beat it. Six weeks later, it was back and she then took on a clinical trial and again thought that the cancer was getting better. But alas the cancer took her on Oct 31, 2009 10 months later.
I still cannot face or speak to my brothers for treating this wonderful woman like a throw-away and for my drunken younger brother, and wife for taking over her beach cottage with out even offering to take her there when she so missed it.
At moms funeral I stood back at the graveside by my car and didn't make any attempt to hide my disdain and contempt for my brothers and in-laws and their normal behavior.
Mom's homes are empty to me as all I see is just stuff...while the buzzards now have begun to split her things up. I have come to the realization that I have no family and only wish the worst for these leeches. I guess that I'm ranting but I just needed to get this off my chest, I realized I have a lot of anger over Mom's final years and along with it the guilt that I didn't do more my self.
So am I nuts?