Elder Care Anger - Elderly Mother-In-Law is Stressing my Marriage

by Hopeless
(Boston )

My Mother-In-Law has lived with me and my wife all 13 years of our marriage..... we are relatively young 33 and 34 and she is 67 her body is starting to break down from years of alcohol abuse and cigarette addiction, she has the education of a 4th grader and we also have 3 kids....W

We get no help from her 2 older brothers and older sister all who live within 10 minutes of us, it's real stressful because my wife's job is very demanding and sometimes she get's home so late she may not see her mother for like 3 days because she is gone before she wakes up and get's home when she is asleep. I'm currently out of work but I'm basically a caregiver...in no way did I sign up for this but since I'm home it has been thrust into my lap..she needs 24 hour care and honestly I'm trying to get my career back on track and have no time to care for an elderly parent much less not even my OWN! mother and take care of 3 kids..any advice?

Comments for Elder Care Anger - Elderly Mother-In-Law is Stressing my Marriage

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Too much Family Tension
by: Anonymous

My 70 year old mother in law was been widowed & caring for herself since 2009. She got liver cancer 3 years ago, we went thru transplant, countless Doctor's visits, always paying for things.

Finally, hospital said she needs hospice- she's being discharged. I was out on medical leave for a major spinal surgery & I have MS. I also work full time & so does my husband.

We have 5 kids, 3 in college & 2 in high school. My sister in law decided that she'd move her mom in for hospice care. It's been a freak show disaster! My mother in law is doing incredibly better two months in.

My husband feels he has to be there constantly anytime he's not working. I went back to work 3 weeks ago just to remove myself from the hostile situation. My own husband told me I'd never come 1st. He can't see how manipulating his awful sister & mother are. It's like they want to destroy my marriage.

Sorry to vent, but it's ridiculous. She truly belongs in home health care or assisted living. Totally jumped the gone on this hospice freak show.

Communication is the Key
by: Anonymous

The one person who can help you is your wife. You and she need to discuss and present a united front to your mother-in -law and anyone else involved (brothers, sisters, etc.) If you voice all your dissatisfaction, perhaps, you can find a way to break free of this prison. At least, I view it as a prison when I'm not looking at it like it's slavery.

If it's any consolation, I know how you feel. My husband's mother moved in with us and I'm the one stuck with all of the responsibility of her care. The more you do for them, the less they do for themselves. With mine, laziness plays a key element. As does a sense of entitlement. Neither of which I understand nor do I ever want to.

Good luck.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Step daughter

    Aug 20, 19 04:07 PM

    My step father has aphisia from a stroke his right side is also paralyzed. My mom his wife is 70 years old and in her age cant be that much of help.

    Read More

  2. Doing it All

    Aug 19, 19 12:28 PM

    I have 11 siblings and am taking care of mother with dementia by myself. I will give credit to two sisters who live out of town and come in once a year

    Read More

  3. I am Invisible

    Aug 15, 19 11:56 AM

    I volunteered to move 1200 miles from where I lived to where I grew up. I moved in with my elderly mother. The beginnings of dementia were becoming noticeable

    Read More