Elder Care Anger and Resentment - Does Anyone Else Feel Taken?

Does anyone else feel taken advantage? It's as though my mother expects me to foot the bill for everything. I am fed up. She has an income, a decent income. She ignores it when the check comes to a table, checking out at stores - unless she's shopping for more stupid clothes.


Dinner, she orders the most expensive item on the menu and expects whomever she's out with to pay. If you announce loudly - so she can't pretend not to hear that it's dutch treat, ooh, she's offended. I had chores around the house and always did. I started those at a young age, too.

- No, I did not grow up privileged.

- No, I was not given cars, fancy things, or college - I worked and earned or got scholarships and still worked.

- No, my spouse does not support me. I work. I always have worked for 30 continuous yrs.

I am fed up. Where does this attitude of entitlement come from?



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We are to blame
by: Anonymous

We ALLOW our parents to treat us this way. They get used to it. It becomes a habit and an expectation. Put your foot down. Stop worrying about offending her.

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Elder Care Anger - Just stop it!
by: England

Ha! the expectation of entitlement comes from you and those around her!
I guess she has become used to people picking up the bill and because the threat of her becoming offended works, then of course she will use it!

You are clearly upset by her attitude, so why do you tolerate it?
Tell her you cannot go out to dinner, shopping, whatever, because you cannot afford it. She pays her way or stays at home, easy! Why do you worry about offending her when she clearly doesn't mind offending you? Stand your ground! You are not a charity!

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