Elder Care Anger - 50/50 ?

I have been taking care of my elderly disabled father and I have lived in his home and quit my job so I can care for him for the last 13 years. My sister expects the house and assets to be 50-50 and does not acknowledge my help that for the last 13 years, there would not even be any assets if I didn't give up my life and move in. What is fair? What are your thoughts and what do you suggest I do?

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Call a lawyer!
by: Anonymous

Seek legal advice immediately!! best done now while your dad is alive and can adjust his will to acknowledge your rights.

Do not feel guilty about this, I hope you are taking care of your dad because you want to, but that is not a reason for you to subsidize your sibling! If you hadn't done what you are doing there would be no inheritance, it would all be swallowed up in care fees. Look after your dad by all means, but think of yourself and your future too... you deserve it!

Elder Care - Executor of Estate Rules
by: Anonymous

Present her with a financial statement. Have it backed by a lawyer or someone of authority. It cost us $10/hr. to get sitters for my parents.

That is $120/day even if he sleeps 12 hrs/night. My Dad has passed now and Mom is in Nursing home. All their money is gone. One sister owed them $5400 when they went into the home and does not plan to pay it back and she took ownership of their vehicle when Daddy died because Mom can no longer drive.

The other sister, who is executor of their estate, signed it over to her for less than $2000, but the book value is $11,000. The "executor of estate" sister owed them $8000 and she does not plan to pay it back either because the nursing home or government would get it all.

There is always a money issue. I just visit weekly and keep my mouth shut most of the time, but I have lots of anger. It does no good to start anything because they made her executor of the estate and anything I say gets over ruled. I pray about it, (and that helps) but I hold lots of anger. I know God will take care of it.

Elder Care - Your Rights
by: Janet

I suggest you get his power of attorney. And have him will you the house after he dies. If she were a real sister she would let you live there the rest of your life, but when it comes to money greed has big green eyes. I am in a similar situation myself with my father. Look out for yourself because no one else will and it is 100% okay for you to make sure you provide for yourself.

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