I have been my mothers only caregiver since my dad passed away 7 years ago. At 67, she had never driven or done anything by herself....did not even have a clue how to use an ATM.
I was elected by default to do everything. I have 3 brothers, one lives several hours away, but the other two live as close as I do. They have chosen to stand by and do nothing while I run myself ragged, they don't answer their phones or return messages and have no contact with her for months at a time. They did however manage to bankrupt her,I now have control of her money....She does not have dementia, just felt bad saying no to their requests for money and willingly lent it to them, they just never repaid her.
On top of that she started having major health issues about 5 years ago, so now in addition to taking her everyplace she needed to be and doing everything for her I also had to deal with all the medical issues and surgeries and treatments, which are still ongoing.
Then try to still have time for my husband and my grown son and daughter and grandchildren whom I love dearly. They help me out whenever they can, my brothers are oblivious. I am only 53, but have numerous autoimmune diseases that exhaust me on a daily basis,which some days makes it hard to do everything. If not for the help of my husband and children I would be more stressed than I am.
I love my mother dearly and want the best for her, but I resent my brothers for making me responsible for everything, after 7 years I'm getting tired and they refuse to help out. I can't turn my back on our mother so I carry on, always amazed that the brothers I grew up with and loved could behave this way.