Dumped On

by Lily
(USA)

Hello, My father in law lives with us as he cannot afford living cost anywhere, he made excellent money and worked all his life, but my husband's siblings drained him financially. Now the one child, my husband that never asked him for any financial help is the one caring for him along with me. He is a wonderful man, but it still is hard having someone live with us 24/7 after we finally got our children grown.


There are times he does go visit one of his daughters, but that is usually upon my husband's urging or figuring out a way to make it happen. They don't spend holidays with him, it is always with us. My husband works out of town often and I am left to care for my father in law.

I need to mention my own father died before I was born, Sometimes I just feel dumped on as these other children seem to think I owe it to them to care for him while they live their lives.

They tell him how busy they are and both tell him stories about working 6-7 days a week when we have learned this is untrue, but being used as an excuse so they don't look bad in his and other family member's eyes.

I know if he finds out their stories of working 24/7 is untrue it will just hurt his feelings I am just frustrated and don't know what to do, I feel like I have had to give up my life, including my home so these spoiled ungrateful brats have no responsibility.

They were spoiled by their dad and mom their entire life way into their 40's. It's just a shame, and I don't know what to do, but I want more of a life too.

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Dumped On
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. My mom is living with us and it's a nightmare. I have 3 other siblings who "can't" take her in, even if only for a couple of months.

I don't know what to tell you. Can you get someone to watch him for a couple of hours here and there so you can get out and get some time to yourself?
Maybe you can leave him with his daughter for a few days while you and your husband go away and spend some time together.

I hope you can get a break. It's so hard being stuck as the caretaker while the others have the freedom to live their own lives.

Take care.

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