Dont Know What to Do...

Well, here it is, you want me to write about my situation, then so be it. I am 31year old female, married, no children, but lots of animals. My dad is 75 and my mom is 65.


My dad has COPD, emphysema, afib with pacemaker has suffered many strokes, a heart attack, and has mini strokes randomly as well as dementia/Alzheimer's. My mom has rheumatoid arthritis and depression/bipolar disorder which she refuses to take medication for any of the above. She constantly complains to me about my dad and all the problems he has and everyday she complains about all the work that she has to do to care for him and my brother.

My brother which has bipolar/depression, schizophrenia and a recovering drug addict takes too much of his medication so he can feel high for half of the month and then has no medication for the other half of the month and goes into deep depression and does not do anything but sleep when he has no medication. He lives right beside my mom and dad and helps them some when he feels like it but just causes a lot of chaos at other times.

He does not have a drivers license because it is suspended and he cannot work a job because his disease is so severe. He is on disability and relies on my mom to take him everywhere and do everything for him. I work a full time job and am also diagnosed with major depressive disorder/bipolar but I refuse to let that get the best of me so I take my medication and am just a normal person. I am also trying to get into pharmacy school so I am taking classes full time as well.

I have a sister who lives in Georgia and is married with 2 children. We do not talk because of a financial issue. She is mad at me and because mom lives in TN with me she thinks she is on my side so she refuses to call and check on dad or mom and she says it is all my fault.

So basically its me, myself and I. When I get off work at 530pm, I am really tired and just don't want to deal with this, but my mom and dad don't want anyone to help them because they have always been independent until recently, plus I have medical background so they rely on me for all questions related to healthcare.

My husband works a full time job and goes on call often and works overtime and side jobs just for us to pay our bills, so we really don't get to see each other that often. I really don't know what to do...

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Sounds like You are on an Endless One Way Street
by: Anonymous

I have one question for you: How long can you continue to travel down this one way street? It sounds like you are trying to get ahead in life, but are constantly being pulled down by family members who are not willing or able to help themselves.

You are very young, and it seems that you have a positive attitude in spite of everything. I would encourage you to build a life for yourself with your husband first, work on completing your studies and become the professional that you have chosen to be. Your family will still be in the same situation, whether you are constantly there or not. The difference will be that you will have made a better life for yourself. From that stronger and happier place, perhaps you will be able to have a different perspective about how to help them.

Remember, you cannot change others; you can only change yourself. Good luck finding your own happiness in your own life.

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