Doctor's Words of Advice
My mother's doctor had some excellent words for us on the subject. This was at the family conference I had requested because my siblings and Mom were not seeing the dangers for her as she lives alone(still aren't.)
His wise words were that we, as the children and the caregiver, sometimes HAVE to do what is needed for Mom rather than what we or she WANTS.
Need over wants.
Safety and well being have to come before our hearts. My Mom has dementia and she is no longer safe in her home, even with help. Because that help is not 24/7.
Many of us are not medically, emotionally, physically, or financially able to care for our parents in our home.
When 50% or more of caregivers suffer from depression and stress related illnesses, how can this truly be good for our parents? If the caregiver is sick and too depressed to be effective, how are we helping?
I know this is a touchy subject, but I am trying to do what's best and safest for my Mom. My siblings are thinking with their hearts and not their heads. They are giving in to Mom's desire to stay at home, even when they know she is not safe there.
I feel no guilt for wanting my Mom in a facility. I feel guilt that I am not able to care for her the way she should be cared for. People should not judge when they don't know the whole story, don't know the family dynamic.