Distressed Daughter

by Stacy
(Pittsburgh, PA, USA)

Let me start at the beginning, I am the youngest daughter of 6 children. 3 boys and 3 girls. Mom had 7 children within 8 years, she miscarried the 6th. I function as oldest son. I am also an only parent of a beautiful daughter.


In 2008 my lease was not to be renewed. I had been somewhat running two households, assisting my mother with some financial, emotional, and social support.

January of 2009 I discussed with my mother that I believe she could not live in the family house, alone, anymore and since my lease was up and she needed help, that my daughter and I would move in June of 2009. My mother very calmly and pleasantly agreed. I stated that I would look things over, (house, finances etc...) and would need Power of Attorney to ease the burden of giving verbal approval every time that I would speak to an institution on her behalf). Mom agreed and signed the papers at a local attorneys office.

I spent time and money, while working a high pressure job, juggling my daughter's busy school and extra-curricular activities, all while preparing Moms (a hoarder) house and packing my household up for the move. As my daughter and I usually took vacations in the summer, I made vacation plans for all 3 of us to go. We needed to get away with the stress of all these changes. I had a job, and money so I took the girls on a lovely weeks vacation. This was a day after my mother had an outpatient procedure, for an esophagus problem. (once I moved in and realized fully the extent of her poor health, financial trouble, and living conditions, I knew there was going to be a lot of work ahead of me.

Her house was full of stuff, hers, and all of my siblings who had left belongings and debris behind. one of these items was and old expired Jeep Cherokee, owned by my law enforcement officer, sister.

I was not privy to any phone conversations that my mother had with any of my siblings, however, I did ask my mother not to lie, as she has done with friends and family in the past. And she is self centered without a lot of healthy coping skills. Long and short of it, I had POA and told my sister and mother that I would be having the Jeep removed from the premises as it was within my right as holder of the POA.

Timeline - moved in in June, 1 weeks vacation in July, and my law enforcements sister had my daughter and myself thrown out of the house on August 29th, 2009. It was a Saturday morning, Ted Kennedy's funeral was on the television, my daughter was enthusiastically preparing her backpack for her 3rd day of her 8th grade school year.

I was painting the upstairs bathroom, and the phone rang. I answered, my eldest brother stated that he would be down tomorrow to take my daughters and my belonging to a storage bin. I told him to go to hell and hung up.

Phone ran again, and he stated that the POA was revoked. Now I lost it, expletive from me, ran downstairs, where my mother had previously been sitting in what seemed to be a content mood.

I ran downstairs, angry, because I had already begun delving into my mother's nightmare, financial and health situation. I screamed and said how could you agree to revoke this now everything that I had been working on will be a even more difficult.

I called the attorney, and walked outside, past my daughter, because she never heard me scream like that before, (I screamed out of shear frustration and a renewed awareness of how sick my siblings, mother and Aunt really were) NOT ANOTHER TARGETED ATTACK ON ME).

My law enforcement sister, who lives on the other side of town, was there within minutes, my daughter and I had to evacuate the house within 10 minutes, as my sister served me with an emergency PFA.

My daughter and I packed suitcases, got in my car, drove to a friends house nearby,while calling the friend and telling what just happened. I can continue this another time.

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Let go
by: Anonymous

My suggestion to you is to let it all go, and let your siblings take care of your mother any way they want.

Point blank, take care of you and your daughter.

All the stress and fighting your siblings for control along with no support or cooperation from your mother is not worth it. It's evident your siblings do not trust and are not in support of what you're doing.

Let them take care of your mother. It's a losing battle. Good luck!

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