by Isabella M.
(Vermont, USA)

I try to talk about it as though she and I were having a discussion about anything. But she doesn't want to think she will ever die, or that it will ever be necessary for her to go to a nursing home.

I don't want her to have to, and will do all I can to prevent it, but if she becomes unable to walk or completely (bowel) incontinent, it could be a problem.

I worry that she is becoming fearful of me... maybe I should not be so honest about it.

Does anyone have ideas?

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by: Danny

It will be very difficult to manage your elderly parents especially if he or she is completely incontinent. In your case, you need not be completely honest with your parent about her condition and should give your best to help her out.

Denial about life span
by: Anonymous

My mom talks like she will go with us wherever we move someday. Her health is not that great and her activities are limited.

I worry about the discussion about her giving up control of her finances. If I get a full time job and find a part time caregiver, (not sure we could afford one ), how do I prevent her from sending the caregiver out with a shopping list for things we can't afford?

I'm not much help, but I think I understand some of what you are going through.

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