Didn't Even Draw Straws
The Forum here suggests that being "chosen" is something that happens in a family with siblings when someone takes charge of the care of an elder parent.
It's like there is a moment in time when all gather and say "okay, who wants to take care of Mom as she is beginning to have failing health and is now unable to take care of herself".
For me, it was sort if like a creeping responsibility...as if the three of us were standing in a line and slowly my other sister and brother just kind of quietly stepped back in unison and I was left standing there as the volunteer.
We all live fairly close together and as well close to mom as none of us has moved away because of jobs or other family issues or such. It has been amazing to look back these last several years and realize that I "became the chosen one" not because I am the most responsible or have the best relationship to mother but that issues arise and things have to get done and apparently I am the one to do it.
I, like most of the people here on this forum have a job, my own family and a house to take care of, bills to pay, etc. and it seems that what I need to get done for my family gets put off more and more and more....very frustrating.
I worry that by taking more and more responsibility for the care of my mother all else is being put on the back burner as if it does not matter....I was late to my daughter's play two weeks ago and could not make a dinner for my husband's job last month.
My brother is useless and my sister has every excuse in the book even when I call them way in advance to see if they can make dinner and spend time with mother from 6-10PM for ONE NIGHT!
I am not coming to the end of my rope but it seems very unfair and I am worried that I will look back and feel guilty for either not caring for our mother or not being there for my family...very worrisome.