Dementia ?

by John
(Lehigh Acres, Fl)

I took my mom out of an assisted living situation and brought her home with me to live in my house. She has been with me for almost 4 months. She is accusing me of being a stranger she doesn't trust me she accuses me of writing checks out of her checkbook she accuses me of taking stuff out of her bedroom.

If I leave my checkbook's laying on the table or counter she takes them and hides them thinking that they belong to her. She refuses to go to physical therapy for her back after I explained to her that her healthcare is her choice and also the doctor explained to her that her healthcare is her choice and that her back will only get worse if she does not do the therapy.

My mom is becoming increasingly combative to the point of stating that I don't give her her medicines. I think my mom needs to see a psychiatrist for depression and other issues that I'm not aware of.

How do I get her to agree to go and see the psychiatrist. We do have health insurance that pays for most of it. I do have power of attorney with my mom however it does not allow me to force her to go to the doctor.

She has to choose to go see a doctor and discuss these issues which means she has to accept that these issues do exist.

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Cant live alone
by: Anonymous

What options are there for an 86 year old elderly woman with anxiety depression some dementia very spoiled bossy and refuses to live alone. She has limited income. There is only one person to help her and that person is her son who's married with children. He's the only one who listens to her.

She doesn't want him to leave she makes him feel sorry for her. She tells him if he leaves and something happens to her its his fault. Shes jealous of his teen child. She refuses to have anyone else help her.

She pretends shes okay with other people but when its just them she acts helpless. He cant live with her for the rest of his life. What options are there.

by: Anonymous

Her behavior is not uncommon with dementia patients.

I have taken care of much more than my share of elderly dementia patients mainly women and all of them do the same type of things your mother is doing add on to the list that they don't like taking a bath or getting wet and it would be complete.

The way I have found to deal with them is to trick them into doing what's best for them mainly because if they were of sound mind they would choose to do what's best for them.

For example one dementia patient did not want to take her medication so I would hold up each pill and say this one is for beautiful hair this pill is for beautiful skin and so forth. Naturally, if I'm taking care of someone I want them to be well-nourished and as healthy as possible.

I feel your concern in what you wrote and just need to tell you that love goes a long way.
Even dementia patients understand love.

by: Teresa

Hi John- we found a visiting nurse group here in NY on Long Island called AiM. Advanced internal medicine, it was a God-send, because my mom refuses to leave house for anything.

Check in Florida about visiting nurses. God bless you dear one. I know first hand what you are going through. Jesus is with you. Love and hugs. I pray you find a loving group that will make house calls. Xoxo

Sounds EXACTLY like my mom! Here's what helped
by: Marilyn

My mom was just like that! Accusing, suspicious, hiding things. She decided not to go to her doctor for her medicine refills and my sister let her stay off the medications for two years, she got worse and worse so we just made an appointment and told her she was going.

We found that a lot of this behavior was from going off the thyroid medications and it's very dangerous to just stop. The doctor got her back on that and also prescribed Aricept, which is used for these symptoms.

After about two weeks the combativeness and paranoia stopped. Please do yourself a favor and read up on this and get her to a doctor by any means needed.

She may not need a psychiatrist . A regular doctor can prescribe Aricept. I admire you for taking care of her and best of luck!

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