Deborah McKee

I am the youngest of eight siblings and my disabled mother has lived with me for 13 years. I have 2 children and have been through a very unpleasant divorce within this period. I work at a very demanding job to provide a house with facilities for my mum and my children have suffered. Over the years as I haven't been there for them.


Every time one of my siblings calls my mum they comment on how much time I spend with her or if she has been out but I am working 70 hours a week and I am exhausted and growing really resentful.

They all live a considerable distance away but never take my mum because they don't have the facilities to cater for her needs - I rent a house which has facilities for her but this takes up all of my salary. So despite being 47 and having a good job I have no savings and no provision for retirement.

I am worried that when I am old I will have no one to care for me and no money to pay for care - am I being selfish?

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No - anyone who gives up their life to care for a parent is NOT SELFISH
by: Karen

Deborah - you stepped up when none of you many siblings did not. I am amazed that you can care for her the kids the house and maintain a full time job. You are not selfish to worry about your future - but I believe what goes around comes around and you will be fine - your siblings will one day need to step up and they will finally understand your burden.

This site has given me more comfort knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way. I don't get it. Why can't any of your siblings at least send you some money to ease your burden. They just don't get it. My sister doesn't either.

I'm all alone in this journey with my dad. No husband no kids no job and no money. I hear you.

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No - anyone who gives up their life to care for a parent is NOT SELFISH
by: Karen

Deborah - you stepped up when none of your many siblings did not. I am amazed that you can care for her the kids the house and maintain a full time job.

You are not selfish to worry about your future - but I believe what goes around comes around and you will be fine - your siblings will one day need to step up and they will finally understand your burden.

This site has given me more comfort knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way. I don't get it. Why can't any of your siblings at least send you some money to ease your burden. They just don't get it. My sister doesn't either.

I'm all alone in this journey with my dad. No husband no kids no job and no money. I hear you.

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