Dealing with Resentment
I take care of my 97 year old father(he lives with me)and has for years now. I deal with many of the same problems that involve taking care of an elderly parent. I love my father, we have been close my entire life.
My brother is of little help and I do resent that he can go on with his life while mine has been on hold. It is just him and his wife, he does not work, he could do more. Recently he said he was thinking of coming here for Dad's next birthday and give me a break, but then added "but where would you go?" I told him I would think of something.
Most likely he will come up with a reason not to come. I can seldom get away to see my own children and my grandchild. I am paying for everything, Dad is very resistant on spending his own money. He refuses to wear Depends so I am constantly washing his clothes and bedsheets. He has end stage heart failure but his mind is good as is his appetite. I prepare all his meals, he can only walk with a walker from the bed to his chair, anything else wears him out.
I can get out for a few hours once he is to his chair, and I have finally arranged for someone to come check him at noon and get his lunch so I can work two days a week. I am 61 year old, widowed 12 years ago after caring for my husband who died of cancer. I get tired of people who have all the criticism and "answers" but don't do a thing to help. I deal daily with feeling of anger and frustration, I keep telling myself it could be worst.
My cousins recently came and spent a week with him so I could go visit my daughter and her baby, I felt so guilty on how great it felt to be free. I don't see another break coming for another 5 months. It helps to just vent..................