Dealing with Controlling Mum and the Difficulty to Overcome Anger and Resentment
I am feeling very stressed out and resentful over my long term unhappiness and anger towards my mother who is a very controlling mother only to me and not with my 3 other brothers.
I feel unfair that every time she has any difficulties whether I was younger or even now when I am married for nearly 20 years
she still wants to be in control of my life. I recall the first major outburst and rebellious action was when I got married, she wanted
everything to her favourite choice, the place I stayed, she wanted her place and I remembered I fought so hard to even chose my own favourite wedding gown etc.
I sometimes felt that I really am to the point of resenting her and since now that all my brothers do not even bother her, she knew she had me but she does not understand I am married and have my own family. I have my parents in laws.
She even went to the extent of interfering in stopping me crying over the loss of my father on his funeral because she and my dad separated when I was still young. She was one of my dad's mistress. She didn't want me to cry and had
controlled my visitation towards her sister and asked that I should not give money to her. OMG, that was her sister and she laid in bed so sick. Even the RM100 that I wanted to give
my aunty was so loudly reprimanded by her through the phone. Why?
She even tried to spoil my relationship with my in laws. Not to mention my relationship with my sons, hubby and my friends.
I really can't think of anything good or positive of her for me to love her.
Even now that I have done so much in caring for her, solely without my brothers' help, she still wants to manipulate me. All her money went to my brothers and in the end she still think I owe it to her and I should take care of her. But then, every time, I fought back and argue with her, it's like a knife stabbing my heart. So painful
yet I still think its our responsibility as children to take care of our parents irrespective of how they treat us. But, seriously, its
really not easy and a very difficult journey. Sometimes, I do hope God will summon me to Him earlier. Not everybody understand and
I so hope to have a shoulder to cry on, if necessary. The only thing is I do not want to regret while she is still around.