Daughter’s Point of View

by Anonymous

I love but resent my mom. I am an old grandma now, and she is elderly. But our relationship was complicated. My mother has no "edit" button. Any thought in her head turns into words from her mouth. I was constantly picked on and berated for ANY choice I tried to make: My own hair as a 45 year old, my own purse, my spouse, my vacation, my employment, my gift selection, you name it....she had an earful for me every time.


And, yes, she would pout that I was ungrateful to hear her waterfall of wonderful wise advice. I would nod "yes" while my silent brain was screaming "SHUT UP!" because it was the fastest way to get her to move on. Why would a grown woman (past 30) need mommy’s advice?

All she could see was a dumb moron who must have needed lots of insults to snap into shape. Mothers all SAY that they want their kids to be independent capable adults, but mine really wanted a perpetual seven year old to boss around.

I resent that I didn’t get the proper opportunity to begin adulthood when my friends were transitioning from teen to young adult. I had to FORCE the issue.

I had to keep quiet about my personal details or mom would butt in and involve herself where she was unwelcome. I couldn’t allow it. Not because I was selfish and needy and money hungry, but because my healthy development depended upon a greater degree of autonomy...and I would have to be the one to create it.

Yes, resentful. Of course, mom felt she was doing and saying all these unproductive, insulting, mean, controlling things out of "love". That’’s some weird-ass love.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. it has been a long road

    Jun 11, 20 09:42 AM

    My 92 year old Dad has been living in my house for 15 months now. He has been on hospice care for 10 months. My wife and I are amazed that he keeps on

    Read More

  2. It just gets a little harder, every day

    Jun 01, 20 09:46 AM

    Been taking care of parent more and more for 4 years, with absolutely no help/support from out of state siblings. One of them, saying anything about my

    Read More

  3. Visitation

    May 06, 20 04:21 PM

    My mom is 98 years old. She started going down about 2 years ago. Her living situation at her house (stairs, no bathroom downstairs, unable to fix her

    Read More