Daughter-in-Law

My mother-in-law and I have always had a strained relationship because I 'stole' her only son 37 years ago. She is a very selfish woman and never really bothered with us or our children except for a couple of short visits a year to give her unwanted advice about how to manage our child rearing/finances/marriage, but ten years ago she decided to move nearer to us as she was unwell.

What has followed is her constant dissatisfaction with anything anyone does for her, and always complaining about people not going to see her even though she has driven her grandchildren away by complaining about their father, who works very hard and tries his best, but never good enough.

She has had a lot of illness the past few years and we have tried to give her as much support as possible. My own parents are in their eighties and my father is disabled. My mother even though she is unwell looks after him with our support. I have never minded doing anything for them as they have both been very supportive parents and grandparents and have always been there for us without criticizing.

We have brought up four children and have struggled. I am trying to help my mother-in-law but all I feel is resentment and anger at how she has treated me over the years and she now expects me to be at her beck and call.Just because she is old doesn't mean she is any nicer. At the moment I look after my granddaughter during the day while my daughter works, I also have a part time evening job, as well as run a home, take my mother shopping and have to constantly answer the phone to the mother in law telling me I have to take her here or there.

In a sentence, I am almost at the end of my tether and something is going to give. I know I should be more compassionate towards her but I cannot help but feel anger and resentment towards her at the fact that she is taking over my life when my husband and I should now be starting to enjoy our freedom and our grandchildren.