Daughter

by Miriam
(Brooklyn, NY)

I have a sick aged 91 year old mother sick for 15 years with cops and the last almost 5 years unable to be independent at all. Has side 10x7.


But problem is zero support from all of family 3 siblings have nothing to do with either mom or myself for most part. Full of excuses not to be here and all of caregiving all on me.

Never but never do they or ever did step to plate fixing house, etc., since dad passed 28 years ago. Understandably so with brother in a faraway state. But other one and 3 hours ago sickening to realize not once did they give me a wee nothing at all even a phone call to cheer me up...they are awful. Impossible situation.

I hear they will be feeling the hurt when she's passed but in meantime hard seeing how mean and selfish all of them are and always have been.

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Good Daughter
by: Anonymous

I understand the great disappointment you feel about your siblings. It's very hard to be a caregiver without others supporting you in the family.

Some of us seem chosen to be the caregivers because we have a stronger humanitarian side. We are able to feel compassion for someone other than ourselves. This is a good thing.

But still, it'd be an easier task if we had support from others who SHOULD be offering their time. It does little good to focus on those people's weaknesses though. No matter what, they are who they are.

Maybe they are afraid to see their mother in her current condition, a reminder of their own mortality. Or maybe they are just plain selfish to the core.

No matter what's behind their lack of consideration, YOU must be content with YOUR efforts because focusing on what they're NOT doing does little good other than making you more and more angry.

Its obvious you can't count on them, so seek help from other sources - a church, a senior citizen center, the mental health department, or even your mother's doctor.

Those people DO care about you and somebody somewhere will step up to ease your burden if you just ask for help.

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