My parents 82/81 live with me. In 1990 they came to help me with my 3/2 yr old children as I was going through my divorce and I remarried in 1995.
My mom was insisting to move back home but my dad did not want to leave the comfort. Whole family went through a lot of adjustments, especially my husband who had to deal with the whole package. Then my mom had stroke in 1999, now the responsibilities doubled.
I have two elder sisters living at 10 minutes drive but they always load me with their problems. Sometimes my friends would say to me that I should talk to them and let them know how I feel totally burnt out. My one sister complains about her son, that he fights all the time and she always complains about her health. The other always blames on her husband that he won't adjust with our parents. So I'm it. My kids went through teen issues and still I have issues with my son.
My husband is not even biological father and adjusted with everyone. My father is so demanding, even if I have arguments with my son he yells at me for making it uncomfortable for them to stay. My sisters come and visit them with smiles and here I feel like I don't even love them anymore. I feel guilty of thinking about my freedom because after all it's only going to happen when my parents will be ......who knows how long I'm going to live I'm 48. In the past every two yr they will go back home for 3/4 months and that was the only way to have a break for me and now with my mom's health it's not possible.
My sisters don't want them to take a chance anymore, why would they because they love them so much. From last two years one of my sisters started to help on one day with meals but the other one only can give me advice how I can give them a sandwich or put something in the slow cooker. If I have to go out for dinner or someone invites me, I have to either run home to cook for them or cook
before I go......I never get break from the kitchen. My kids never bothered to sit at the dinner table and eat.
I wonder a lot how my family was going to be if it was only four of us. How, like my sisters can get up and leave for vacation or for shopping or if they are out never have to worry to run home to make food. I sometimes don't even know what to make. My mom is vegetarian and they eat traditional food and my kids eat other foods.
My mom is restricted to the basement but my dad is always in the kitchen not cooking which can give me break but just some nonsense stuff which is no help other than creating more dishes to clean. He drops food on the ground like salt and sugar all over the counter and floor which you don't know until you step on it. With our back ground, you say nothing to your parents because it's disrespect. I try to find perfect words to tell him things but it still offends him.
Sometimes if I need to vent one of my sisters can listen but the other one will find a reason to snap at me and hang up on me and that's the one who does absolutely nothing for them. So,I guess it hurts her to hear anything about her parents or she thinks if she will agree that it's a big burden then she will have to do her part because deep down she is guilty for not doing anything.
So, either she just gets mad at me or gives advice on how to handle. She even tried to tell me that they pay me for all that. What I get paid,starting after 1990 for few yrs $400 and now with raise over the last ten yr $800 which includes total care (cooked meals, laundry, rent, groceries, all inclusive}. The rest whats there, my dad made a will so all three will get equal..........what did I do to deserve this life. My mother did not go through any special pain while she gave me birth.Why me?????????????. When I will have my freedom to enjoy life when my one foot be in the grave.