Daughter of Elderly Mother

by Peg
(KS USA)

My mother & I live together, really resents me. We can't be around each but for short periods of time. She is abusive verbally to me & in the past tried to physically harm me.

I finally told her if she ever even attempted to hit me again, I would call the police & file a formal complaint. Her comment was "who will believe you?", but she stopped attacking me physically. My mother has a long history of abuse she directed towards my brother & I. I am now her only living child.

She has such resentment towards me & now that my brother is gone I feel overwhelmed, my children do not understand or rather prefer not to be bothered with grandma. She does not want me to leave but just acts out terrible, what do I do?

She is secretive, petty, constantly complaining. She goes to bed late & gets up late, only dressing when she wants to. She is still driving but prefers me to drive her. She is very demanding of my time, dislikes my friends, jealous of my children's attention towards me. I have invited her along on short outing but she often refusing (hoping to get her out of the house) although she doesn't like me to travel on business or pleasure & gets angry or whining if I have to do so. Her eating is irregular.

She will go out & work in the yard(gardening) in the extreme heat or walk to the mail box in the worst icy conditions, if I ask her not to do this she will throw a fit like a child & do just the opposite. I now say, "maybe you should go out & pick up the mail", I know it sounds silly but is what works & that will be the day she won't go out, reverse psychology I guess.