Daughter of Elderly Mother

by Peg
(KS USA)

My mother & I live together, really resents me. We can't be around each but for short periods of time. She is abusive verbally to me & in the past tried to physically harm me.


I finally told her if she ever even attempted to hit me again, I would call the police & file a formal complaint. Her comment was "who will believe you?", but she stopped attacking me physically. My mother has a long history of abuse she directed towards my brother & I. I am now her only living child.

She has such resentment towards me & now that my brother is gone I feel overwhelmed, my children do not understand or rather prefer not to be bothered with grandma. She does not want me to leave but just acts out terrible, what do I do?

She is secretive, petty, constantly complaining. She goes to bed late & gets up late, only dressing when she wants to. She is still driving but prefers me to drive her. She is very demanding of my time, dislikes my friends, jealous of my children's attention towards me. I have invited her along on short outing but she often refusing (hoping to get her out of the house) although she doesn't like me to travel on business or pleasure & gets angry or whining if I have to do so. Her eating is irregular.

She will go out & work in the yard(gardening) in the extreme heat or walk to the mail box in the worst icy conditions, if I ask her not to do this she will throw a fit like a child & do just the opposite. I now say, "maybe you should go out & pick up the mail", I know it sounds silly but is what works & that will be the day she won't go out, reverse psychology I guess.

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I Live with My 85 Year Old Mom
by: Anonymous

I am 50 years old and I can relate. My Mom is jealous that I have friends and now I have a new boyfriend.

I help her as much as I can. Take her to the store, clean house, shovel the drive. Run errands for her. She is so jealous thou that i have a life outside of my work and caring for her.

I am starting to have stress related issues from dealing with her. I love her but I cant allow her to treat me this way. She will not invite her friends over (which are few cause she is so judgmental)and I have introduced her to some older ladies at church, she doesn't like them much.

She expects me to be her only companion. I can't be the only person in her life. She is lonely and its her own fault. My brother stops by once in awhile and my daughter once a week. I am just so tried of her jealously and her rude comments about me being too busy for her. I am too young to just sit around and watch TV with an 85 year old woman all evening.

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Same as my Mom
by: Anonymous

This sounds just like my mom. If you can get her to a doctor for a cognitive test. Mom after 2 years of this craziness same as your mom was diagnosed with dementia.

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