Daughter #3

My sibling has lived with my parents totally expense-free for the last 20 years. My parents are in failing health. They rent a house, and have been in and out of rehab all year. They had a combined savings of about $70K 3 yrs ago, and decent credit.

As their health declined, we hired aides to assist them. The aides shopped, did laundry and cleaned, while my sibling did nothing. Sibling would take no responsibility with health/med management, did cook meals however. Said "it wasn't her job". In the meantime, sibling ran up a $20K bill on my parents credit card, they wrote sibling checks on their acct, which gradually eliminated their savings.

Sibling now has their car, they pay for all expenses-rent, gas and electric, cable, insurance, food, you name it. Sibling never bothered to look for work when the aides were there-said there wasn't time.

Sibling has to take care of them now, and they are at the point where they need to go into assisted living. if they leave the house, sibling will have no place to live. Sibling has a college degree, but fails to take responsibility for self. I'm sick with worry about the situation.

Sibling obviously needs help, but I can't have a conversation with them: is combative and vicious, conniving, manipulative and has real mental health issues.

I want to get some professional advice, but don't know where to begin. I live in a different state not to close to my parents.