Dads Recovery Time From Surgery

by Ladybug
(Florida)

Hello! My dad had surgery and I had him in my home for 2 months. Home health care came everyday at first and then every 3rd day along with nurses and Physical Therapy.


At first, you are grateful to have the person do a little bit of assistance but, you do get tired of planning each day around what time these people are coming. If you are up late they still call early each morning to tell you what time they are coming and they often are later than discussed leaving more of your day tied up.

We had a nurse that did a good job but, she told us how smart she was several times. My dad loved her and the physical therapy girl because they were young, blue eyes and blonde. He started imagining long term friendships or dating them. He is 81. He would laugh with them and praise them.

I in fact did all of the cooking, cleaning, entertaining and so on for him. They were here 30 minutes and he acted like they were so great. He ran his T.V. blasting everyday for 2 months and coughed openly without covering his mouth, blew his nose at the kitchen table and burped and passed gas openly.

My husband and I started getting depressed over the rudeness and I had to talk to my dad. All I mentioned was running the T.V. so loud and he became very angry. I also on another occasion had to discuss him covering his mouth when coughing and asked him not to blow his nose at the table when we were eating. He again became very angry. He would proceed to tell me how I had him over a barrel because he was ill.

I couldn't help but recall all of the years my mother could not talk to him about anything. He came home very late at night and dated and partied when married to my mother. He could not be told anything. When I would take him out to eat while staying in my home he was only interested in picking up the waitress. He just wanted me to be his maid or listen to all of his stories for the past 40 years of who all did something to him. All of his gone bad business deals were blamed on other people.

If we passed property while riding around it was always based around what that person did to him. When home health care was finished and he was well he made the nurse feel that he needed her to come another time. She got sick and he was upset and talked bad about her to me. I had to change his band aid and he mistreated me. I had to do it another day and he and he acted ugly to me again.

I told him to be patient and he said he would pack his stuff (not the word he used) and get out of here. I told him that that would be fine and he left. He was well and wanted to continue to stay. He has a home and still runs around doing business deals but does not treat his children good. We never have been quite good enough although we bend over backwards for him.

Our entire lives have been what others have done to him and I told him that his children have had bad things happen to us to but, we have to move on. I doubt that he even cares about our struggles. His siblings are almost all dead and he wants to be buried by them with their parents. He never even mentioned being with his children. He has been this way his entire life.

It would of been easier if he just had become this way in old age but, he did not. He treats his children like things are our Christian duty to do for him. He also is obsessed with his church and how they are the only saved ones.

Although I attend his same religion he is always trying to teach me although he straddles the fence when it suits him. He left mad and I am happy that he is not still controlling my home anymore. Next time he can go in a recovery center when he is sick.

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