Dad Gone 10 Years
All my life my Mom has had mental issues, depression, anxiety, OCDs, and hypochondriac, and narcissistic, it seems like she had multiple personalities too when I think back. She would lose it and was extremely abusive.
I grew up with the words " I am going to kill myself", said often. But, she never got help. There was always yelling and arguing in the House growing up.
Because of my moms mental state and behavior it affected all of us. Then at some point In My life I realized how dysfunctional it was. Yes, I have a Lot of resentment.
Dad will be gone 10 years now. He held our family together. He was the glue. He was the one we could talk too. He had a big heart.....now dad is gone.
I live closest to mom and I am the primary caregiver. She is 92 now and hasn't changed. Still suffers from mental illness. We talked to doctors and got a prescription but she won’t take it.
She thinks she is normal and doesn’t need it. She is nasty and combative and narcissistic. But she can’t see herself. Yes, we are resentful of her never being there for us. We really don’t know her.
But we are trying to help her in her old age. Nothing we do is right or good enough. It’s always been that way. She hates old age and is angry. We still try to do our best with caring for her.
But we are at the point where she should go to assisted living. We have NO relationship with her, we never had, she didn’t try to develop a relationship with us. So now we are left caring for someone we don’t know.
For those people who haven't experienced this, they would never understand. All I can say is to those who had a a great mom or even a half great mom, I am happy for you. I didn’t have that.
The last 10 years has been very very stressful. If we decide to move mom to a home it’s a personal decision that is NOT wrong. To everyone:Try to spend time trying to consider or understand another persons perspective, or experiences before you make judgment.