My siblings convinced my mother to go to an independent living facility without my, the nurse in the families, input. Although they left all the moving work to me, a single mom of three at the time.
Quickly, she declined in all areas, health, social and payed large monthly fee. She never once ate in the dining room, nor attended one social gathering on her own. Needless to say, she called me one day to come over and asked me to buy a home that she picked out, so she could live with me. I agreed but, she had to co-sign with no monies being given. She now has been with me going on 3 years. Her health is great!!
I never get an ounce of help from any of my 3 siblings, the 2 out of town siblings visit maybe 3 times a year usually 4 hours maximum, and the only holiday is Christmas eve. Although prior to her moving in they quickly activated the power of attorney of financial, giving all control to my sister. I do not care. The first year she contributed $1,000 a month to me for everything.
I guess I did not realize the costs of the larger home to accommodate her and all the additional costs too, electric, heat, food, taking her to her appointments, shopping or just out. Using vacation pay for her appointments. So, the second year my mom agreed to $2,000 for expenses. Which they all had a fit about...So, they no longer speak to me, because I am robbing my mom. In fact my one sister left me a phone message stating "this is your sister, I am so proud of you .. getting more money from mom! daddy must be turning over in his grave about now"... I feel awful.. Daddy made me promise to take care of mom, just as I did home hospice for him and he saw how little they did.
I really can't take much more of their selfish closed eyed comments. They have no clue, mom is 88, walks with a walker, poor short term memory, I do her medications, bathe, cook, give pedicures, curl her hair, take her to all her appointments, grocery shopping which she loves, for some odd reason, she likes to buy her sweets and special stuff.
We haven't had a vacation in 5 years.. My husband and step daughter treat her like gold.. But, I am so ready to quit and say okay, you all think you can do better. But I know that would land her in a nursing home.. Please send me something that can make them all understand...