Confused and Hurt Sibling

I am one of four living siblings . My mother has been in and out of the therapy unit and now is having issues with dementia as well.

She has her own condo, of which one sibling , spouse and child have taken over because neither working , because of depression, whatever not working and living with mom.

Other brother lives an hour away. One lives nearby.
Mom got sick and I asked my older brother to go get some power of attorneys well, without any discussion, he did but he put himself as power of attorney, my other brother as his alternate, my sister and himself as medical and me as nothing.

She needs a guardian and I said okay I will be the guardian. Basically, let me know they don't want me on the paperwork.

Interestingly enough, I am the only one working, with a business, and job. One is retired and has no money to even cover the gas to come and visit. The other has no job. The other has no jobs her or her spouse, won't go to the doctor, ... get a part time job, but is going to care for my mom.

I feel that geez, I am good enough to go to the doctor, take my mother out ... deal with the social workers, go up there when called and she is all stressed out... but not good enough to be on the paper work?

All of them are broke and have gone bankrupt, at lease once, some twice. and I am working stable , my husband works. Also offered to bring mother here and hire help if she sold her condo.

What is wrong with this picture, am I crazy to think they are after her money what little she has?

I am not doing a thing or lifting a finger again. They can have at it. IF I am not good enough for a guardian, then I am not good enough for anything else.. I will go visit my mom and that is it. I should be happy..... so why do I feel so bad?

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Confused & Hurt Sibling
by: AnonymousCarmen & Suzanne

My dear, DON'T feel BAD... Here is why.... First of all, it appears to us, that your family, is abusing of your Mom's financial estate, and prefer, not having your name on any legal paper, because to them, the least you know the better they are off.
Also, you seem rather far more intelligent than they are.
So, did your Mom give your brother the "authority" to be her "Power of Attorney", if NOT it should have been decided, as a family unit, Not just one. Remember, they could have lots of Legal repercussions,if they are abusing of her estate.

If, they live in your mom's condo and let her pay for it (even if it is all paid up) they are abusing of her. You also, mention that your sister-in law has mental or medical conditions. It is still abuse.. Why NOT have the condo sold, and get her in a nice senior residence. Sure, they will not agree, with this as they will first see their meal ticket gone, lodging and piece of their (inheritance)....

What a JOKE ,they can FOOL some people some of the time, but could can FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME..We do not know, where you live, but here in Canada, you can call an agency or government regarding this kind of abuse.

Please forward a copy of this to your brother it might "smarten him up". As for you, stay firm, continue seeing your Mom, as for your family, keep far away!

P.S We are convinced they are abusing of her generosity
Take good care of yourself.
Carmen & Suzanne

Confused and Hurt
by: Anonymous

It sounds like your siblings are feeling insecure about their own situations, and need something that they can control. Have you expressed your feelings to them?

It seems that they are definitely keeping you out of the loop, and you deserve to know why they have done this. Perhaps, like the other writer said you should get your own attorney just to know how much control they can have legally.

They want you to do all of the grunt work like taking your mom to the doctor while they sit back and have their names on all of the paperwork.

Do you think it is partly sibling rivalry? Good luck -- I hope you are able to work this out.

by: AnonymouChristine

If you have power of attorney or medical power of attorney then you should have access to all paperwork. So what's going on with your family? Please get your own attorney (or solicitor - I don't know where you're from) and stop asking yourself all these questions. End the nonsense.

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