Concerns about Caretakers Manipilating an Elderly Person in their Own Home
by Melinda Lee
Okay My father is 86 years old he has some what his mind still. He pays his bills on time, he knows how to write checks. First of all I am a caregiver to my mom that has dementia. I love her and don't resent it at all. It is a 24 hour a day job.
Well, my father usually does not ask me if we need any money for her care but every once in a while. Okay, before all this happened, me and my husband was paying visiting angels to come in every day to care for mom so she could live with dad. Here is the resentment I have.
My Dad is a very controlling person and it is his way or the highway. Well, if my dad decided he did not like somebody he would lock them out of the house and of course they would call me and say your dad has locked us out could you please tell him to let us in. Remember, my mom is also living there and who needs the care.
Well, this went on for weeks until I got so tired of this I told Dad if your not going to let people in to care for mom then she is going to live with me. Well guess what, I got in my care and drove two hours and got mama so I knew she would be taken care of. My Dad is not in the best of health so I arranged for heartland to check on dad... He was not eating and it was failure to thrive. So, they got involved and are still checking on my Dad.
Well, my concern is there is a lady who was discharged from Heartland and my Dad was for some reason very fond of her out of many caretakers. Well, she tells my father "I don't have a job" and my Dad justified this by paying her $15 dollars an hour to be his housekeeper. You have not heard the best part yet...... the best part yet now is my husband has been laid off and my Dad is giving him money to do things around the house. I feel like Dad is being taken advantage of this way.
But my problem is he is letting them do it!! I don't know if they are intimidating him or threatening him, I have no idea. He is a cash cow because this woman goes into the bank with my father while he has all of his check cashed!! I don't know what to do because I am on great relationship terms with my Dad. I have a brother but he and my father don't get along very good so my father has basically isolated everybody but me.
He loves me and talks to me even about things going on in the house. My resentment is people thinking my father owes them a living!!!
P.S There is so much more to this story!!