Concerned for my Mom

by Doug
(florida)

I am deeply concerned for my mom. For 25 years she lived with my alcoholic brother.


They spent a great deal of time yelling and screaming at each other. All the while she would buy him alcohol and enable him. Now he has passed away and it became obvious due to multiple falls that she needed someone to care for her and the house was in need of repair.

So I sold my home and lost all financial security doing so. So I arrived with a lot of love and know how to repair the house and keep her safe.

My brother never left the property. I have to work to bring in a little money. So I work free lance and it gives me the opportunity to stay on property more. Recently she was in the hospital and now can not drive. I know it is frustrating for her. So I give her several opportunities a week to get off the property. She will go to my aunts house but refuses to go anywhere with me.

She sits at home. I am deeply worried about her mental health. She presents fine to everyone else but when alone with me becomes angry and depressed and refuses any assistance. And now refusing to eat out of anger. What can I do????

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Maybe it's Nanny Cam time, Do you have a video recorder?
by: Mothers Assistant

Hello Doug
This is a difficult one, and I'm sure you've tried so much already, even pleading. But if the minds going, you're not doing anything wrong.

Perhaps it may be your mother feels some guilt for you moving out there, a resentment even that you cannot control or atone for.

Perhaps she resents that you gave everything up for her at this time.

Perhaps she's not well, as aging can take away the person you knew mentally.
Also sounds like she resents not being able to do the things she used to.

Maybe, you can get someone else to be with her, or take her out, while you work. Maybe she just doesn't like having someone with her most all the time.

You could speak with her doctor about her state of being and see if he can help. You may have to get powers of attorney to settle issues.
Have you asked her, calmly, why she is angry with you?

Maybe she will tell you maybe she won't. Maybe she had plans for the house to go do something else. to another perhaps?

You'll have to probe gently, find out what's eating at her that makes her angry. And to show others how she is when she's not around them so they don't think you're manipulating the situation.
Sincerely my thoughts. Mothers Assistant.

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