Concerned for my Mom

by Doug
(florida)

I am deeply concerned for my mom. For 25 years she lived with my alcoholic brother.


They spent a great deal of time yelling and screaming at each other. All the while she would buy him alcohol and enable him. Now he has passed away and it became obvious due to multiple falls that she needed someone to care for her and the house was in need of repair.

So I sold my home and lost all financial security doing so. So I arrived with a lot of love and know how to repair the house and keep her safe.

My brother never left the property. I have to work to bring in a little money. So I work free lance and it gives me the opportunity to stay on property more. Recently she was in the hospital and now can not drive. I know it is frustrating for her. So I give her several opportunities a week to get off the property. She will go to my aunts house but refuses to go anywhere with me.

She sits at home. I am deeply worried about her mental health. She presents fine to everyone else but when alone with me becomes angry and depressed and refuses any assistance. And now refusing to eat out of anger. What can I do????

Comments for Concerned for my Mom

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Maybe it's Nanny Cam time, Do you have a video recorder?
by: Mothers Assistant

Hello Doug
This is a difficult one, and I'm sure you've tried so much already, even pleading. But if the minds going, you're not doing anything wrong.

Perhaps it may be your mother feels some guilt for you moving out there, a resentment even that you cannot control or atone for.

Perhaps she resents that you gave everything up for her at this time.

Perhaps she's not well, as aging can take away the person you knew mentally.
Also sounds like she resents not being able to do the things she used to.

Maybe, you can get someone else to be with her, or take her out, while you work. Maybe she just doesn't like having someone with her most all the time.

You could speak with her doctor about her state of being and see if he can help. You may have to get powers of attorney to settle issues.
Have you asked her, calmly, why she is angry with you?

Maybe she will tell you maybe she won't. Maybe she had plans for the house to go do something else. to another perhaps?

You'll have to probe gently, find out what's eating at her that makes her angry. And to show others how she is when she's not around them so they don't think you're manipulating the situation.
Sincerely my thoughts. Mothers Assistant.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Ready to Scream

    Jun 27, 17 09:57 AM

    Both parents are there 80s. Mom complains all the time that my dad is lazy. He wants to play on the computer for 4 to 5 hours. She does all the yard work

    Read More

  2. TETHERED TO A TYRANT

    Jun 26, 17 01:10 PM

    I grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood with three sisters and one brother, a loving caring father, and a mother who made our lives an utter living

    Read More

  3. Yet Another Worn Out One

    Jun 23, 17 12:08 PM

    SO very tired of babysitting the 90 year old toddlers. And then, if I dare slip in a politically incorrect complaint, I get some mealy-mouthed comment

    Read More