My parents, who are in their 60's always insisted that they were in good health and there was simply nothing to worry about. (Never mind that planning helps prevent worry). They would give no specifics about how to handle their affairs if something were to happen. My mother just said that it would all be taken care of.
My mother’s life-threatening illness has brought out the best, but mainly the worst in all of us. Today, she is a cancer patient clinging to life. It’s has been a shock to all of us. I’ve been one of two primary caregivers.
Not enough other people are helping with her care. They are in denial and she’s helping to keep them there. She is dishonest about how sick she really is. She misrepresents the situation and her symptoms to doctors, friends and extended family.
My mother, who was diagnosed six months ago, may not make it to the end of this year. I have made little progress uncovering her wishes regarding hospice, estate planning and so on. A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed this were possible. I never expected to be in this position so soon.
I don’t know how to be a caregiver. It’s so tiring. Nothing I do seems to be right or enough. Most of all, I don’t want to resent other people for not springing into action and I don’t want to feel relief if my mom passes away from this illness. Sadly, things are headed in that direction.