Chugging Along at Almost 90
As I read others comments I noticed there seems to be a trend of NPD mothers in their late 80s to late 90s and recall reading an article that NPD mothers tend to oftentimes live extraordinarily long lives often outliving their spouse and having better health than their much younger children. Seems like there's some truth to it, I guess the thought about it is that narcissistic mothers lack conscience and empathy so they are not hurt by things in life because they're the ones who inflict harm.
My narcissistic mother is pushing 90 still going strong-- she is very skilled manipulator uses triangulation to alienate all three of us siblings from one another. Uses her age as a means of soliciting sympathy and support when she needs it ( "I'm just a little old lady") while the truth is that while she may be old she is extremely healthy and active goes to the gym, seminars, etc .
When I was growing up I realized she didn't have any real actual friends just some people she exchanged holiday greeting cards which now I see why, she isn't able to interact with other people in a genuine equal manner--
In her earlier life she used nursing as a means of having that control over others (most nurses go into it for the right reason however narcissists tend to use the position they are in to have control and influence over others and to prop their egos up behind--
Even when they volunteer its oftentimes in
positions of some type of power or leadership where they can exert control and influence and gain admiration of others ( for example a narcissist tends to volunteer in something like "head of neighborhood watch or leader of a woman's support group rather than volunteering in a position like helping at an animal shelter since being an equal among other volunteers at an animal shelter would not appeal to their need for control and influence while volunteering as the leader of something would).
Since my father died a few years ago she has gotten worse which I didn't know was possible-- he kind of buffered us from her manipulation and emotional and verbal abuse and now that she no longer has him to control she has managed to manipulate one of my siblings into being her spokesperson who does her bidding whenever she desires--
If she feels insulted by how someone at the bank treated her she will call up that other sibling and tell him a story of how someone at the bank hurt her feelings and was rude to her because she's old and uses that same line of she's just a little old lady and then puts him up to calling the bank to demand an apology, etc.
Wish he could see he's being used by her to promote her own agenda but he seems to get some type of perk from it in that she then croons about what a wonderful son he is and what would she do without him, etc.